Post Traumatic Stress Support Group

This topic has often left me feeling alienated and has even got me removed from message boards.

First of all...I have nothing against medication or people who use it. It is a personal choice and not my concern one way or the other.

That being said, medication is a trigger for me.

My mother was a drug addict, my grandmother was a drug addict, and I have substance abuse issues. I also don't trust the drug companies. Maybe it's just me being paranoid, but I don't trust them not to be getting me hooked just for their dollar and not for my health.

My therapist wants to discuss me going on medication, but my instinctive response is "HELL NO!!"

I would rather try diet change because the soul purpose of high fructose corn syrup in food is it's addictive quality. It's cheep, it's sweet, and it's HIGHLY addictive. Who cares that it's killing the pancreas and it's short circuiting the brain chemistry, it's cheap, it's sweet, and you can't stop coming back for more. Also, Red and Yellow dye is known to cause anxiety and ADD symptoms, and when the body is overloaded with things it can't process, it becomes depressed.

And rather then promoting a better diet, the drug companies make a fortune on anti depressants and weight loss drugs.

I'm not saying there isn't a real need for medication, I just want to make sure that need is for me.

I'm not saying anything about anyone on medication. We make the best choices for ourselves. No one can make these choices for us and we can't make these choices for others.

I'm just not sure medication is right for me.

I want to try diet change (I used to be really good about what I ate, but I lost that when my PTSD exploded last July). I want to get back on track and also get back on track with my vitamins.

Medication is a psychological trigger for me, much the same way sex is a trigger after rape. In fact I wonder if some of my PTSD is surrounding my mother's drug use.

I just hear about people trying to find the right med. This one didn't work and just made them gain weight. That one will throw you into a diabetic coma if you eat carrots. This made me crazier. That one put me in the hospital.

I just see my mom popping pills and stumbling around in a daze, then te doctors just gave her something else to counteract the effects of this one rather then trying something else.

People talk about Lyrica and Klonipin like it's just another drug. Those are anti seizure meds and if you stop taking them you have an increased risk of seizure whether you are a seizure risk or not. I don't want to be epileptic just so Hostess can keep making millions on Twinkies.

I might be paranoid, but that doesn't mean this isn't true.

Summer - I don't think you're paranoid. In fact, what you're saying makes sense. And the choice is totally up to you - as long as you're healthy and happy, I don't think it matters whether you got there by changing your diet or by taking pills. I know what you're talking about - a lot of times people kind of want to shove the pill thing down your throat (pun intended)...but pills are not a universal cure, to say the least. Medications for psychological stuff are not as precise as medications for clear-cut medical issues; psychiatry is not where it should be, if you ask me, though it has made great strides. There is so much we still don't know about the human mind, and for people to act like this or that is THE cure and THE ONLY cure, or that it's even certain to work...well that's silly. So I totally get where you're coming from.

My mother is also what I call a "pill-head", and I know you know what that entails. It's horrible to watch her destroy herself, and there's nothing I can do...and she's in denial. (Can't even get people help these days without their consent - which is reasonable I guess, but dang is it tough to deal with.) I do take klonopin on an "as-needed" basis, but I'm obsessive about monitoring my use of it and only using it when I absolutely NEED to. Even then, I don't take the max dosage I am allowed to take; I think I've only really done that a few times ever. My thing is, I just don't want to become my mom!! And worse, my siblings will say things like "Yeah, you're a lot like Mom". Granted, my siblings are bad eggs...but it still digs deep into me and gives me that fear.

Furthermore, I have been down the long and arduous road of trying out almost every medication there is. I have BEEN there. It was not fun, for me. In fact, it was a nightmare. And I'm just not going there again.

Right now, I take only prescription strength vitamin B/folate stuff (which is good anyway, not really just for mental-health-type purposes) and the occasional klonopin. I found that klonopin, while it does have its down sides, also helps me; so I've stuck with it for those really horrible times when I need it. And honestly, when people try to tout pills for me, I just tell them no. I've got what I need, as far as pills - what I need now, is therapy. I have my bandaid, and that's good; but I need to heal the wounds, now.

So all that to say, you're not paranoid - what you're saying makes sense, and if people are going to judge you for that, it's silly. Do what is good for you, take care of yourself in the best way possible...that's all anyone should ask. You know your own needs.

I do hope the diet change is helpful for you, too; some people might think it's silly... I think if you can keep up the changes, why not? We do have a lot of messed up artificial crap in our food these days...cutting it out might be a good thing, who knows!

summer,

If their is one thing I've learned is that I am the one that needs to do what Iam compfortable with. You have a course of action and a very sound one at that. You know your body best.

For me:

I take serequel, wellbrutin, and lexapro. I still have very serious symptoms but without the meds I would never get out of a trigger. I remember the days before meds and I know for a fact that I need them.

Destiny