Post Traumatic Stress Support Group

Hello All!

I just want to say hi and to introduce myself, and give you a bit of background...

I was first diagnosed with PTSD about 6 years ago, but had long suspected that it explained most of my symptoms. As many of you, I had a long history of traumatic childhood events, including witnessing severe DV from and alcoholic stepfather, and was sexually abused by a family member for an extended period of time. As a teenager, I was raped, and acted out sexually...which was all very confusing.

PTSD has affected every relationship I have ever had. I have huge trust issues, overreact to seemingly minute things, am either angry or very sad too much of the time. I've also had the classic physical symptoms of sleep problems and hypervigilance.

I'm now on my 3rd marriage and am raising three sons. I am a mental health professional, but still need help putting all the pieces together in my own life. I am mostly cut off from family and only have a couple of close friends. My current husband has his share of issues...severe ADD, history of huge relational probs, and a tough history. He is not supportive for the most part, is not working most of the time, and does not interact with my two sons from a previous marriage or help around the house.

Lately I've been feeling a bit more emotionally fragile and overwhelmed than usual. I cried in front of my boss a few days ago, which was very humiliating as I tend to be very guarded. The holidays are upon us, money is very tight, my two older sons will be with their father for Christmas, and I have this extreme guilt about not being able to give my children a better life. This coupled with my spouse's inconsistent moods that at times result in his being verbally abusive or very distant, has me feeling very low. I certainly am not about to do anything about it, but have had some suicidal thoughts even though I'm taking an antidepressant and doing everything I know how to cope.

Sorry for the long story! Thanks for listening...

Leslie39. Welcome to the group. My dear you are not alone. I to went through a difficult time in my life. I was abducted and brutally repeatedly sexually abused for five day at a abandoned farm house. I was only twelve years old and didn't know if i would ever see my family again. But i never gave up hope that some day i would. In today's economy it is overwhelming to say the least. We want to give our children the best of everything but right now we you can only do what you can. There is one thing this world and this bad economy can't take away from you or anyone. And that family love. Things will get better. Don't give up hope.

Scott

Thanks for your support! I tried to respond before but didn't submit it correctly...

It's been a very stressful day. My husband and I got into a huge fight this morning. I was out of control...screaming and yelling mad because he was totally ignoring me although I was crying, and he was on Facebook acting like nothing was wrong.

The hardest part about the relationship stuff and PTSD for me is trying to tell how much of this was my symptoms and how much he deserved.

In any case, he left today and I don't know where he is but he did pack a suitcase. This may be the end.

Sadness breeds sadness, doesn't it? Seems like the cycle is unavoidable.

Im sorry you had such a hard day. I wouldn't worry until there is something to worry about. He could be out just thinking about things. When he comes home put your arms around him and say how sorry your are about the fight. Start sitting down with your hubby and talk about how your PSTD afects you. All it takes is talk and understanding. Im sure he still love you very much.

Scott

Have tried telling him about how PTSD affects me and the relationship. He doesn't listen and won't read up on it. He thinks I'm making it up.

And he didn't come home last night. I have no idea where he is...

You could try to go online and print out reading material on PSTD and give it to him to read and be firm about it. The more you stick up for yourself the more he will come to realise the pain you are in.

Scott