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01/24/2012 07:02 PM

Not sure what I need

Posts: 1
New Member

I had an abortion in May of 2006. Almost 6 years later, and I have still only spoken of the pregnancy and abortion with my mother. Don't get me wrong, she has been amazingly supportive, from the moment I told her I got pregnant at college. My decision to abort was not one that she particularly agreed with, but she knew it was my decision and was not about to let me go through the experience alone. I guess I just need to talk about it with someone else. Unfortunately, I do not feel comfortable with sharing this with anyone close to me.

As I said I was girl in college, living a pretty typical college life. I wasn't crazy, but I obviously was not careful enough. I was terrified when I realized I might be pregnant. More so, once I realized I really was. I didn't know what to do or how to handle it. What was going to happen to me? How was I going to handle this? Could I handle this? I'd been partying pretty hard in the 2nd semester, what had that caused? It was all just too much. I took a lot of time and did a lot of research. I decided that abortion was the option that best suited my situation. I don't know if that was right or wrong, but I did and have continued to tell myself that it was the choice I made and there was no looking back. Guilt and regret were not options, because they in no way would change or benefit anything or anyone.

I guess that is really basis of my story. I'm not feeling guilt or remorse or joy or relief. I'm just feeling the need to release. I am planning to be married in the summer and he has no idea about the abortion. It is the one and only thing that I have ever kept from him, it is also the one and only thing that my mother has ever kept from my father. Is it wrong that I haven't told him? Will this be release enough? I want to have children in the future, is it awful of me to want them now, when I couldn't handle it then?

I really just don't know what I need...


01/27/2012 11:37 AM
Posts: 2
New Member

Hi, I just joined the group and I also am not sure of what I need. I think maybe just someone to talk to that identifies with how I am feeling. I feel so alone although I have a great support group (just in general, only my boyfriend and best friend know about my abortion). I had an abortion in December right before Christmas. I feel the same as you in that I'm not sure if my decision was right or wrong but regardless it was my decision. I try to not have regret and look back but I have so many overwhelming emotions that its hard to sort through everything. I'm sorry that this post has no value to you in what you were saying. I guess its more for me.

01/29/2012 04:25 PM
Posts: 531
VIP Member

well it does have value. you. that we all have something to say about our feelings. even if they are confused to reconciled or imbetween. i am ok with it most of the time. now and then i get extremely saddened.

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