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10/15/2009 10:44 PM

Hormonal stages after abortion

brokennurse
brokennurse  
Posts: 38
Member

Hi Everyone,

I am new to this site, had a first-trimester abortion two weeks ago and want to take charge of my own recovery. I am an R.N and my life and career has always been centered around taking care of the childbearing family- I.E Labor/Delivery (yup, seen thousands of births), Postpartum, newborn care, pediatric care, child development. Needless to say I never wanted to be faced with the choice I had to make two weeks ago. I LOVE babies.......always been pro-choice, but LOVE babies and want so badly to be a mom.

Does anyone know if there has been any research on the the effects of post-abortion hormonal changes and mood? or hormonal changes after abortion that can cause a type of postpartum depression?

I am two weeks out, suffer from depression (Bipolar 2 with rapid cycling but mostly depressive symptoms). I also have other health problems.

So my main reason for having an abortion was that I needed to put my mental and physical health first.

Now I am reeling......and wondering how to put my mental and physical health first in the wake of all this grief and anxiety I am feeling. All I can think of is what my life would be like with a beautiful baby, and what I might be missing out on. I'm just having a very hard time with all of this- lots of reflecting and hopefully some healing going on but mostly grief and negative thoughts. My self-esteem is in the toilet right now. All I can think about is "I'm a nurse, I should have known better than to let this happen to myself- and the "embryo". Sigh.

Thanks guys. I hope I didn't say anything offensive-everything I wrote above is only talking about how I feel, and I respect that other people have different experiences and feelings. I am asking for loving, caring support without judgement or harsh words. Don't think I could take any more pain right now.Brokennurse

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10/16/2009 03:32 AM
sharone
sharone  
Posts: 3449
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

brokkennurse, your reasons, like any woman's reasons for abortion, are legitimate.

There can be no question that the impact of aborting, ending a pregnancy, could have the same effect on a woman emotionally and physically. Whether it's something like postpartum depression or not, I am not sure. But, clearly, grieving is involved.

Everyone on this site will give you different advice. Personally, the route I preferred, was one on one therapy. Whatever you choose to do, look for support that is sympathetic to women who've chosen abortion.

Take your recovery one day at a time. Think of it as grieving. It's painful, but you will heal. But, you need to really nurture yourself during this time.

Also, what we know intellectually seldom seems to have an impact on our emotional lives. Don't burden yourself with should-haves. You did what you felt you had to do. Now you need to take care of yourself so you can heal, both mentally and physically.

I became a mother a few years after aborting. I am very happy with the outcome and at this point, live w/o regret. It took a while to come to that but it happens!

Keep posting with us here.


10/16/2009 08:22 AM
brokennurse
brokennurse  
Posts: 38
Member

Thank you so much Sharone. I am really glad I joined. It is nice to hear from someone who made it through and is living life. I'm doing therapy but I think this will help on a daily basis. Hopefully I will get to a place where I can help others who have experienced abortion.

Brokennurse


10/16/2009 08:53 AM
sharone
sharone  
Posts: 3449
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I'm glad you will continue posting here, then! It's helpful for all of us, even women like me who experienced this years ago, to have the support of other women with a similar experience.

Tonya will be post shortly and she's always great for lending an ear, sharing her experience. Smile

I'd love to know how you found your therapist. ANd, if you run across articles covering the subject you mentioned above, we'd gladly post that information on this forum. Thanks!


10/16/2009 09:05 AM
brokennurse
brokennurse  
Posts: 38
Member

Thanks Sharone-

Yes I think this will be really good......the only other time I joined an online support group was when my father was going through ECT (electric convulsive therapy) and I was studying for my nursing boards-was SOOOOO stressed! I ended up emailing with this girl who was also in nursing school at the time and had GONE through ECT. It was so helpful.

My therapist was recommended when I was 19 by my PCP I think. She doesn't specialize in abortion but is very, very good. She knows me because I went to her on and off for six or 7 years- I haven't seen her in 2 years but knew it was time to go back when this all went down. If I find an article I will let you know.

I'm going to my follow-up appointment next friday so I can also ask my new doctor about it (she is a new doc in one of the major teaching hospitals here in Boston and hopefully more experienced with this stuff than my prior OBGYN, who was out of a community hospital).

I also know that at Mass General Hospital they have an entire department for OB/GYN psychiatry that cares for women dealing with psychiatric symptoms during and after pregnancy. I took care of this woman who was in a post-partum depression study there about 5 years ago so I could always try contacting that department.

Definately feeling some Beantown pride here- so lucky that we have the best healthcare even though we still have a long way to go.

Thanks for being so welcoming!

Les


10/16/2009 09:41 AM
sharone
sharone  
Posts: 3449
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Les, thanks for sharing info. Nice that you have a history with your therapist already. That must be helpful!

You are very fortunate to have good health care and to know how to use it fully. That means everything when faces with health issues, doesn't it?

I have heard positive things about ECT.

I have to run but post as you need to, for whatever reasons! Talk soon!


10/19/2009 02:56 PM
teetazasteeler
teetazasteeler  
Posts: 531
VIP Member

Hi I'm Tonya. i had an abortion about 3 years ago. i am 27.Smile i am going through some hormone changes myself. i just found out about poly cystic ovarian syndrome or pcos for short. i am not trying for a child right now but, hope i do not lose the ability when i can. I also suffer from other health issues so, i have big risks. i won't give up hope yet. I had to write a poem to my child who wasn't but, 9 weeks old when i had the abortion. I never thought that would be me. I said if i got pregnant i wouldn't get an abortion but, i wasn't in a good health and ready to have a child at that time. i also was on birth control when it happened.

10/23/2009 01:05 PM
brokennurse
brokennurse  
Posts: 38
Member

Hi Tonya-

Wow it seems like we have a lot in common. I was 7 weeks when I had the abortion (only 3 weeks ago). I had the same thoughts- that this would never happen to me and if I ever got pregnant I would have the baby because I am old enough and capable of being a parent. But unfortunately this was a complicated situation- I had to think of my health first.....I was always so careful and the one time I was "reckless" (it was right after grandmother and good friend passed away in the same week), sure enough I got pregnant.

Well I had my post-op check-up. I chose a new doctor and actually saw a wonderful nurse practitioner today. I am going to be getting an IUD (Mirena). They used to say you should be married or already have children because it is difficult to place in a closed cervix, but now it is possible for ever woman to have one if she chooses.

I'm sad that I didn't get the chance to have Mirena when I asked my previous doctor for it. She had old-fashioned views on who should and shouldn't get it.

It's a great thing- can save you hundreds of dollars compared to the pill, is more effective than any other method, and you can keep it in for 5 years. If you want children, you can have it removed and get pregnant immediately afterwards. There is no waiting 3 months to start trying.

There is a 1% chance of pelvic inflammatory disease. It doesn't protect against STD's, but neither does the Pill, the nuva-ring, the patch, Depo, etc etc.(which I'm on the Nuva-ring now and I LOVE it- but still don't trust myself to remember to do it right which is why I'm going to something I won't have to think about until I want kids. All for ONE $30 co-pay.

I'm excited. I was treated very well at my new doctor's today- my old doctor was a real *****bag. All she cared about was her patients having babies so she could make more money- she actually told me that (I'm a nurse and used to do OB/GYN). She never cared about any GYN problems and actually used to pressure me (and other patients of hers that I have talked to)to get pregnant soon so it doesn't end up being "too late". I'm only 28 years old!


10/24/2009 01:21 PM
teetazasteeler
teetazasteeler  
Posts: 531
VIP Member

i am glad you are with a good doc now. doctors need to be caring towards their patients feelings. its the belief system some docs have. i love the medical field but, disagree sometimes with it. they forgot about the caring part and empathy part. i am afraid to get the IUD i have a problem with tampons before and dont want to put anything there. i might not be able to conceive easy now but, when i go on the womens clinic i might be on a med that might make me even more fertile. dont know if i want birthcontrol but, i am not ready just yet to try for a kid. i want to try eventually. it is a confusing situation.Dizzy

10/24/2009 09:50 PM
brokennurse
brokennurse  
Posts: 38
Member

Yes I am glad I have a good doc too....

I'm a little nervous about the placement of the IUD but having a problem with tampons shouldn't affect the placement of the IUD- it goes inside your uterus. Are you trying to get pregnant? If you are not ready for a pregnancy perhaps you could consider birth control. I'm sure you remember how difficult it was to have an unplanned pregnancy. Even with polycystic ovary syndrom you could very well get pregnant.

Sorry to sound like I'm lecturing you- I'm really not trying to. It's just that I was a LABOR AND DELIVERY nurse and knew all the facts about birth control, yet I STILL didn't believe this would ever happen TO ME! I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy- that is why I've vowed to be super careful and not have a child until I make a conscious choice to get pregnant.

LOL- I don't even want to have sex yet I'm getting the IUD just in case I change my mind in the next 5 years.

Anyways, if you are NOT ready for a kid, the IUD is a great thing because you can just have it taken out as soon as you decide you want to try getting pregnant. And onc it's in, it's in-99.9% effective and NO problems getting pregnant once it is removed. The best thing for me will be not having to remember to do ANYthing other than check the string at the end.

It also delivers hormones ONLY to your uterus, not to the bloodstream in the rest of your body, which cuts down on headaches, changes in blood hormone levels, and makes your periods light to non-existance.

Just my opinion but I think it is the greatest thing since sliced bread for women like us.

Does you boyfriend feel ready for a baby yet? Mine is kind of so-so...he would have been supportive but I don't really think he's ready yet (nor am I, but I do want one in the next few years if everything else is straightened out healthwise).

When did you find out about the polycystic ovarian syndrome? what are your symptoms? Are you having a lot of pain? I've treated a lot of pregnant patients with that diagnoses so there is definately hope for youSmile

GOD bless and I hope this post wasn't too bossy.......just sharing my opinion, but of course it is your body and I do not have a right to tell you what to do with it, so please don't take my "advice" as critisism or being rude, ok? CoolSmile

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