May 2003, a birthday I will never forget.
I turned 16 that year and became your mother.
I wanted you before I knew I had you.
I knew you were growing inside of me before any test proved it.
I was filled with joy and excitement once your existence was confirmed.
But shortly after sharing the news with your daddy fear and confusion set in.
He wanted me to go against my nature and hide you and destroy you.
He was scared and wasnt ready so please dont blame him.
Through many circumstances your grandparents came to know you were created.
It took the weight off my shoulders for I didnt have to keep you secret any longer.
Little did I know that the new secret I would keep for the next six years would devastate me.
Even though there was a lot of pressure on me to terminate you, I cannot deny my responsibility.
I wish I would have been stronger and had a relationship with your Creator.
I wish I would have listened to my voice, God's voice, and most importantly your little voice that could not be heard.
Then you might be here with me now.
I have been in a state of great depression since that cold July day.
But you brought me to the Lord.
You saved my life.
And for that I am forever greatful.
So as we remember your short time here on earth, I just want to ask your forgiveness and tell you how much I love you.
Love your mommy, Heather