Self Esteem & Positive Thinking Support Group

I'm new to this group on this site. I have had on again off again issues with my self esteem my whole life, but then again who hasn't? heh. To give a little background, I was abused repeatedly when I was very young and victimized in my teens... frequently. Everyone that loves me tells me that I am pretty and perfectly proportioned. I don't believe them... and when I do feel good about myself- it doesn't last very long. I have been in a relationship for three years with a man. All my life I have grown to not like them and now I feel like I am growing to hate them. I thought I loved my boyfriend, but lately he has been triggering me unintentionally. I don't like myself, period. I hate my body. I hate my personality. I hate the way men think sometimes, like I have to keep up with and look like a stupid pornstar or a hot actress. Compared to all of that I feel like I have the body of a little girl. I'm 5ft1in and weigh 135lbs. Plus, I have scars all over my body from when I was suicidal and prone to self-injury. I can't take feeling like my boyfriend is lying to me... like he actually prefers a "real" woman's body and not my own. I am convinced he likes bigger breasts- as I am on the small side. And today we were hanging out with his two male friends and they were talking about Carmen Electra... He told me in the past that he didn't find her attractive and today he said she was "fucking hot". Yeah, WAY TO GO!

I feel like I don't want to be with him anymore or anyone for that matter... like I should just be by myself forever. I hate my life. I want to break up with him sometimes, I guess I am irrational and he does tell me that I am beautiful... but I don't believe him anymore

Tomorrow is our anniversary too. Am I doing this to myself? Am I just not accepting how men think? I feel so ugly. My body is ugly and scarred and I'm not Carmen Electra... fake boobs or not.

Hi Gypsy! I was in the same boat as you. I decided to take time off from men which ended up lasting 15 years. It was worth it though because I met my husband of nine years now and knew the minute we started dating he was Mr. Right! As for the looks thing, men are scum when it comes to that! They say one thing and think another. If you don't feel you can trust him about what he's saying I would follow your gut instincts whether you should stay with him or not! I'm around if you want to talk!

HI..Welcme 2 the group.....You need to love yourself before you can let any-one else love you.....But i don't think your boyfriend would be with you if he didn't love you they way you are...You need to stop being so nasty to yourself.....God made us al different & the world would be pretty boring if we all looked like supermodels.....Love yourself for who god made you to be....You can't change unless you have plastic surgery (hehehehe)......

Hi gypsydoe, you're in the right place because most of us here have low self-esteem issues. Welcome to the group. Regarding with your boyfriend, if he really loves you, he will accept you for who you are. He has some rules in liking to which is mainly physical when you are already his girlfriend. He is one of the factors that adds to your low self-esteem. A bad treatment from others has an effect on how we view ourselves. In my case, I get some information from self-help books to which could be a good source of sensible advices. Recently, I have the Fabulous Self-Esteem" e-book by Amy Twain that I downloaded from www.fabulousself-esteem.com. I really love this e-book because it's so uplifting to the extent that I keep on recommending it to my friends.

Welcome to the group gypsydoe. Glad you are here!

Crystal- That link did not work for me. Is there another way to find the ebook?

Hi ApRiLGeTsAngry77, there are some errors that have occurred this past few weeks because of some technical problems. You can try to check the link again or you can just log on to www.innerzine.com to which is the web page of Amy Twain. After entering that page, you can see the image of the "Fabulous Self-Esteem---Right About Now! e-book. Just click on that and you will be directed to the link.