Self Esteem & Positive Thinking Support Group

HI all to all my friends, hope everyone is doing well. im back, went thru a VERY rough week last week, started drinking which made it worst, ended up staying with my dad for a week, i was very depressed about losing my friend after the argument we had. and one thing i cant stand is when people ignore me. she still ignoring me thou. i just have to accept that the friendship is over.

I went visiting my father the weekend before this one, and he told me to stay, he said i was depressed and not myself, first time this has ever happend him telling me to stay at his house?! he does work during the day, but theres a maid which im very fond of there during the day and the love of my life, 5 dogs! they were so nurturing to my soul. i even canceled my therapy session that i had to go to last week. got a few eye openers to, because i was with someone who noticed my lack of routine (going to bed at 2 in the morning, sleeping late and not taking my meds as i should, i tend to skip and forget them). iv now set my alarm on my phone at the times i need to take my meds. last night i was very depressed again, i felt so lonely, after being around "life" for a week and coming back to an empty lonely apartment really didnt do me good and i ended up only going to bed at 2 again, but i have no choice i have to stay on my own.

also having horrible spastic colon problems, i get so nauseous when i eat and my stomach cramps like crazy. im also so tired and lethargic. need to go get it checked out, im just postponing it why i dont know, maybe im scared i dont know.

This friend thing REALLY got to me, i miss her so much but theres nothing i can do, she never deleted me off her blackberry or on facebook, why i dont know, but it really gets to me when i see her pic or read one of her statuses not knowing whats going on in her life. i cant believe shes doing this to me, she knows me better than anyone and know what an effect it has on me.

it feels really strange being with me myself and I again, im actually wondering if it was such a good idea to go and stay with my dad for a week, because now im feeling worst again being so alone is just not for me. i use to go for walks but its winter here and sooooo cold..

At the moment im SO tired, its 14:00 here now in the afternoon. i just want to go sleep but i know i shouldnt, then again what does it help, if i sleep in the afternoon or not, im still awake until 2 in the morning.

Post edited by: angelbaby28, at: 06/18/2012 04:59 AM

Angel,truly it's good to see you here! Deeply concerned about you! Try to stay clear of alcohol when you are feeling low as it will only make you feel extra low which is not a good idea as you already know. Try to stay clear of checking out your friend on social networks especially as she is ignoring you- you are just torturing your good self by doing this! Try to fill your time with positive exercises/tasks to distract your fine self from all your pains plus frustrations too! have some low energy hobbies for the what is your winter time! Have you seen the doctor about your stomach problem? Feed your mind plus body with healthy nutrients only! Have lost a childhood friend- it hurts sure plus does not make sense so can empathise with you, definitely! You need to mourn the loss then find ways to move on! Sadly not all friends are friends for all time even he you would like it to be this way- many people are fickle, yet, you will be stronger as a result if you choose to become better not bitter! Besides a better friend awaits you on the near horizon! Sad for your loss Angel yet know you will heal from this! Hold on to hope as well as to our hands of support here, okay! Much loving friendship plus soothing gentle hugs, Love Clarita xxxx

Im posting again on this thread as this has been going on for so long. I saw my "friend"last week tuesday at a school gathereing for my sisters kids. i really really hoped that we could reconcile that in time things will get better. she looked at me and smiled, but it was so fake! and there was NOTHING in her eyes no warmth NOTHING, it totally ripped my heart out. The next day i was ok..surpringsly, but the day after that.wow, i just totally flipped, cried non stop for hours, someone came to fetch me as she was worried i would do something stupid..well it started going better, its like iv buried someone who died?! then yesterday my sister mentioned her name, and there i went again, im a mess tonight, feel so alone and even thou someone wanted to fetch me again, i want to be alone, iv still got control over myself and what i do..i just feel so embaressed being such a mess around people..i cant believe im feeling like this, i cant believe she ended our friendship after 12 years, and because of a guy..she thinks the world of him and when i wanted to help her, she threw me away..i feel so totally alone and unwanted. and she deleted me on every site we were on..if she wanted to hurt me she truly knew just how to do it!!

Angel, You really need to let go of this friend as with friends like this who needs enemies anyhow! Yes, it is very sad that she has treated you like this yet it speaks more about her than you or your friendship. You can hope that one day she will come to her senses but until then you must let go for your own sake- stop playing the same loop in your head plus heart as you are only torturing yourself like this!!

Focus on treating your fine self well. Know that not everyone is like this plus you will find someone one day who will treat you the way you treat others- an equal on the same wavelength who deeply cares plus is deeply loyal. In the meantime, be your own best friend.

You are not the only one who has lost a friend who has been a friend for a long time- same has happened to this batgirl- it hurts deeply yet you have to let it go as they let you go easily so they are not worthy of your tears or even letting them rent space in your heart or mind rent free!! It is not easy yet whenever you do anything worthwhile or to boost your self esteem it is not easy yet the pay back is well worth all the efforts as well as emotions!!

Positive affirmations will help. Keeping hope alive too- hope that you will find a good true friend in the near future !

Do not let this make you disillusioned with friends or people as not everyone is the same besides it is better to be vulnerable/emotionally giving even if you get hurt every so often than having a hard heart or being bitter, most definitely!!

Good karma will come your way- the universe always balances it up!! One person can hurt you deeply then another can love you deeply so then the positive cancels out the negative!!

Love the Oprah quote, " Turn your wounds into wisdom"

Learn from this then move on!

Go on the higher path!

Am rooting mightily for you Angel!

Asking heaven to superbly bless you plus uplift you as well as to send healing light your way, for sure!

Apologies for taking a long time to reply- was not that did not care, it was as am v challenged health wise as is hubby so finding it difficult to keep up here, yet, after a good nights sleep last night feeling less foggy in my brain!!

Lean on us all here, okay!!

Focus on YOU- on healing.

Focus on all the positives

Focus on putting all the negatives behind you /letting go of all hurts- refusing to keep carrying them with you.

Focus on all the positive words spoken to you by all your friends(true friends)/all those who care for you here - maybe write them down on cards that you can regularly look at or even post them around your living space.

Focus on being your own best friend

You are never alone as you have all of us here!

You are wanted here!!

Please take most excellent care of You.

Sending super gentle comforting hugs to you in South Africa from here in Devon UK, Love Clarita

(batgirl holding on tightly with an orca smile)