Self Esteem & Positive Thinking Support Group

Allowing Loss Accepting Love- article typed out for you by this batgirl- copied directly from the paper edition of 'Soul&Spirit' Magazine, December 2011, written by Nikki Wyatt, Karma Coach.

Are you looking forward to the festive season, or does the mere mention of the holidays leave your heart feeling heavy? Sadly, although Christmas is synonymous with happy times and cheer for many of us, this year's celebrations may also mark the anniversary of a loved one's passing, or be the first time you celebrate the holiday without someone special. As such, some of you may be dreading the gap around your table when you dig into your turkey dinner this Yuletide, or wondering how you'll cope with teh lack of someone special to toast on New Year's Eve. For those of you who've suffered a loss, the contrast of sadness with the cheery expectations around you can make this a very difficult time indeed.

Yet, we live in a world of duality; there's no darkness without light, no joy without sadness and no togetherness without seperation, and how you deal with this determines your life path. Acceptance is key, and the more you resist what is, the greater the pain you'll experience.

The first phase of loss is often denial; you can't believe the person you cared about has left you, whether through death or their own choice, and are struggling to accept what's happened. You cannot rush this and will need to rest to assimilate the changes, so be gentle with yourself and spend time with loved ones. While it may be tempting to hide away somewhere, and it's certainly important to gather your thoughts alone, it's also vital to keep your heart open to the love still flowing in your life.

Being reminded of loss can be a chance to complete the healing process, so view the festive season as an opportunity to fully release past ties and move forward with a heart full of joyful memories. The person you lost's love infuses you each time you think of them, so proceed with your life in a way that shows them their existence and support made a difference to you.

Tips for integrating loss

* Allow yourself time to fully grieve; don't assume you should be over it by now. Nobody can tell you how long you need

* Grief has a physical impact, so nourish yourself with baths, scented candles and massage. Get lots of sleep and take walks in the fresh air.

* As time passes, allot a specific period to think about the person; doing this, makes it easier to begin moving on

"We Live In A World Of Duality; There's No Darkness Without Light, No Joy Without Sadness And No Togetherness Without Separation, And How You Deal With This Determines Your Life Path."

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?”~ Kahlil Gibran

When it seems that our sorrow is too great to be borne,let us think of the great family of the heavy-hearted into which our grief has given us entrance, and inevitable, we will feel about us,their arms and their understanding.~Helen Keller

One Joy may scatter a thousand griefs.~Chinese Proverb

The season of mourning,

like spring, summer,

fall and winter,

will also pass.

Molly Fumia

The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears ~ Minquass

http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-hearts.htm

tears are a response to emotions

for which we can find no words.

They reveal our most vulnerable self.

When we cry we are releasing the pain of the loss,

not the memory of the one we cherish.

The most dramatic rainbows

seem to follow the most severe storms.

Now when my eyes overflow,

I use a guided imagery technique

to visualize my tears washing away the pain

that I carry inside my heart and soul.

And when they finally stop,

I look for the brilliant rainbow of love and hope.

– Nina Bennett