Self Esteem & Positive Thinking Support Group

Life has been very hard… each day , every second, without anyone . it is so difficult to live. With an abusive father , death is the only thing that can free me.. I suffer from depression, low self esteem and loathe myself... I do not know what love feels like but I know it is a very warm feeling. I don’t know what my future holds, and if I want to live.

Its weird how one guy(in this guy the guy who was responsible for my birth), can ruin ur entire life. He made me think im the ugliest person alive. He makes me jealous, insecure of everything. He turned my life into a living hell. I wish I could somehow purge my life, and come out clean, pure, and loving. It can never happen till I am freed of mental suppression.

almost similar yelling here!!!

Am very concerned for both of you here h-life & d-angel- truly hope you guys will see someone professional very soon!

Both of You are precious as are your lives - so please please please keep safe plus realise you can have authentic happiness even if right now it seems like a million miles away as a reality!!

You can find freedom through therapy, through being gentle with You as well as taking tiny steps forward.

We are here to listen to you, yet, please know that all the GL's here are not medically trained or counselors in any way. Also, we have our own health challenges so we cannot always be around here or may have fogginess in our thinking(especially us fibromites- us GL's with fibromyalgia which happens to be all of us here except for Doris). We are all caring plus have big hearts, yet, if you need medical help then seek it please!!!!

Heart goes out to you both as want you guys to have a better life as well as to feel a deep inner peace, for sure.

Hold on tightly, okay!

As human beings we can become extremely resillient as well as learn to flip around a great negative into a great positive- you can do the same too- you can find the hero within You.

This batgirl does not know what your future is or what your life holds- yet, know something for sure- Want you to live, to grow, to heal as well as to bloom/become the person your were born to become.

Much of your story was written for you on your behalf- often cruelly so by the sounds of it for you to be in so much pain, yet, you can choose the next chapter- how the next chapter in your life begins- the next page is unwritten!

Ask for help around you- counsellors, therapists...(whatever it takes to help you to heal). Lean on us here, too( we can listen plus show you we care even without any medical training we can do this). Listen to your inner voice- wise voice within.

Know that no moment lasts forever plus better days can be out there for you if you learn to be your own best friend, for sure.

Sending super gentle hugs to you both h-life and d-angel, love Clarita

My dears nylife and Darkangel, I hope you are talking to someone, either there in your life, someone you can trust. If not, then I will urge you to find someone, a relative or a school counselor or a pastor. Meanwhile, you can talk to us here any time and never have to worry about being judged, betrayed or hurt in any way. I understand if it's hard to say out loud what you are going through and feeling. But is so important to get the things you are needing to suppress out in the light of day, and out of your head. Only when light is shined on secrets and evil doers, can they then be banished from our subconcious and faced in dealt with. Then it will be possible to move forward and leave those crippling issues behind.

Most important thing is that you are NOT a bit unclean, impure or unlovable and am sure you are a loving person in your heart, and lovable too. It sounds as though you have built such a safe wall around that hurt heart of yours, that you can't even find it now. But please believe me when I say, IT Is still there, waiting for you to feel it is safe to bring it out again.

I am here to listen if you need me, any time ok? PM me any time if you need to just talk, or need a shoulder to cry on. Or even if you need to vent away too. Any way you need to express yourself, it's ok. Only 'rule' we have here is to be respectful to one another. Even when we disagree, it is done with respect for the others point of view. And I have a feeling you are that for sure.

Take best care of you and your precious self and please let us know how you are as often as you feel comfortable with.

Warm Mama Bear hugs, times two <3

Karen

Post edited by: oregonnative, at: 09/25/2011 02:28 PM

My goodness Hatenylife and Darkangel I can feel you pain. My name is Viv and I am pleased to meet you both.

Let me say I lived and survived through the abusive from the one who gave birth to me and was suppose to love and protect me. You are not impure or unloveable let me asure you it is your father who has the problem like it was my mother. And this is not a permanent situation. I know it may feel as though it is now but let me assure you that you can become free from it and grow into a very loving and caring person that knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you would never treat no one else that way. I always knew I wouldn't and I am happy to say I am now 50 yrs old and never did.

I never even discussed the abuse with anyone but when I turned 18 I was out of there and made it just fine. I learned I was not like all those harsh words that were said to me I was my own self who is very very different than she was. As she aged and got down I ended up taking care of her until she passed on knowing I was doing what was right and I was in control. I do not dwell on that part of my life now but I wanted you to know there are those of us out here that really knows what you mean and have lived through it ourselves. Please don't take your life you still have so much of it to live and you can do great things with it and if you chose help many people along the way.

Feel free to contact me if you ever need to talk or I will catch you again on the boards. Your in a great group where everyone here really and truely does care.

Hugs and Many Blessings!

Echo the wise words spoken to you both d-angel and h-life by Karen and Viv, for sure!!

Asking heaven to send <i>angels<i> to you both d-angel and h-life<i> to heal you, comfort you, uplift you as well as keep you both safe, may it be so!

Gentle hugs, Clarita(have big bat ears- good to listen)

Hello to you both. I don't post a lot here anymore b/c of my own health issues now. I felt like I needed to say something to you all because I was you at one time. It's taken time and treatment but I'm getting better. It takes time to heal from wounds that run so deep but it is possible, very possible. Death doesn't free people. It cuts your life incredibly short when you have so much to give. I don't know your age. I don't know anything about you other than your above post. What I can tell you is that he didn't ruin your life you can turn that around. You have to let people ruin your life and if your this passionate and angry then you should put it to good use. Use it to get help, to move forward despite the odds and circumstances. You can purge your life without death. You can purge your life by starting new. I'm living proof of that. Best of wishes and luck to you both. Always rememeber no one and nothing is worth hurting yourself or death. No one.

Zuria- wise words indeed- huge heartfelt thanks for your most valuable input!

Zuria keeping you close in my thoughts as well as prayers honey! Special hugs winging their way to You right now!

Huge gentle hugs to everyone here on SE&PT including you h-life and d-angel, love Clarita

Aww Clara the pandas are so cute!

I truly believe you can be freed from mental suppression it does take time, you may need medications and therepy not sure if you do this stuff or not. I suffered my fair share of depression but i've managed to go in and out of it, of course with meds and therapsy. Please have hope, i do not know details about your situation but my heart goes out to you, ((((BIG HEALING HUGS))))) wishing you well. I'm glad you found this group, the group leaders are all so very supportinve and loving, wishig you well.