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01/31/2011 02:49 AM

Comforting words for all living with a lost love

Clarita
Clarita  
Posts: 13055
VIP Member

A collection of comforting words that have gathered together over the years, want to share with you all-to help you/comfort you in your loss of a loved one. Feel that it is the right time to share them with you all.

Hope you will find not just comfort yet inspiration as well as strength within these snippets, too.

Prolific author Leo Buscaglia, once told a four year old boy who lived next door to an elderly gentleman who had recently become a widower. Apparently one daythe child noticed the man sitting on his porch in a rocking chair, and saw that he was crying. The little boy walked over to the man's porch, made his way up the steps and climbed onto the gentleman's lap. Without saying a word, he just sate there. Later, when his mother asked him what he had just said to the neighbor, the little boy answered, " Nothing, I just helped him cry."- Source unknown

"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, bu what is woven into the lives of others."- Pericles

Death is nothing at all- Henry Scott Holland

Death is nothing at all,

I have only slipped aways into the next room.

I am I, and you are you,

Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name,

Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.

Put no difference in your tone,

Wear no false air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Let my name be ever the household word that is always was,

Let it be spoken without effect.

Without a trace of a shadow in it.

Life means all that it ever was.

There is unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you,

For an interval.

Somewhere very near,

Just around the corner

All is well.

Traditional Jewish Memorial Prayer

In the rising of the sun and it's going down, we remember them.

In the blowing of the wind and the chill of the Winter, we remember them.

In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of Spring, we remember them.

In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of Summer, we remember them.

In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of Autumn, we remember them.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart, we remember them.

When we have joys we yearn to share, we remember them.

As long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

xoox

"When an emotional injury takes place, the body begins a process as natural as the healing of a physical wound. Let the process happen. Trust that nature will do the healing. Know that the pain will pass, and when it passes, You will be stronger, happier , more sensitive and aware."- Mel Cosgrove

xoox

Native American Indian Prayer

When I am dead

Cry for me a little

Think of me sometimes

But not too much.

Think of me now and again

As I was in life

At some moments it's pleasant to recall

But not for long.

Leave me in peace

And I shall leave you in peace

And while you live

Let your thoughts be with the living.

xoox

"Say not in grief 'he is no more' but live in thankfulness that he was"- Hebrew proverb

xoox

"Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean." -David Searls

" Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow."- Alice M Swaim

" I have learnt that life may not always be easy, but it is always worth living."- Melanie Rice

"Death is but a crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still."- William Penn, English Quaker

"Hope is grief's best music."- Anon

" When we truly love, it is never lost. It is only after death that the depth of the bond is truly felt, and our loved ones become more a part of us than was possible in life."- Oriental Tradition

" Sometimes even to live is an act of courage"- Seneca

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pourse through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."- Eskimo Proverb

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01/31/2011 03:20 AM
Clarita
Clarita  
Posts: 13055
VIP Member

Some more comforting words

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."- Kahlil Gibran

Time is a physician that heals every grief- Diphilus

"To live in hearts we leave behind Is not to die."- Thomas Campbell

" I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I find I am grateful for having loved them. The gratitude has finally conquered my loss." - Rita Mae Brown

" In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing."- Robert Ingersoll

Ojibway Indian Expression

Sometimes I go about pitying myself

And all the while

I am being carried across the sky

By beautiful clouds

xoox

"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present."- Jan Glidewell

" The deeper that sorrow carves into your heart

the more joy you can contain."- Kahlil Gibran

"It is not death man should fear, but he should fear never begining to live."- Marcus Aurelius

"If you want to sing, you will find a song."- Anonymous

"The purpose of life is not to be happy- but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all."- Leo Rosten

" But surely it is better to have been the best beloved for a little while, To have walked hand in hand with Love, and seen His purple wings flit across thy smile."- Extract from Apologia by Oscar Wilde

xoox

Miss me but let me go- Anonymous

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me

I want no rites in a gloom-filled room

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not too long

And not with your head bowed low

Remember the love that once we shared

Miss me but let me go

For this is a journey that we all must take

And each must go alone.

It's all a part of life's plan

A step on the road home.

When you are lonely and sick at heart

Go the the friends we know

And bury your sorrow in doing good deeds

Miss me but let me go.

xoox

" Never to suffer would have been never to have been blessed."- Edgar Allan Poe

" Our grief always brings a gift. It's the gift of greater sensitivity and compassion for others. We learn to rise abour our own grief by reaching out and lessening the grief of others."- Dr Robert Schuller

xoox

" Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree."- Martin Luther King

" A life has never ended until all the lives it has touched have ended too."- Chinese Proverb

Hold On- A Pueblo Indian Prayer

Hold on to what is good

Even if it is a handful of earth.

Hold on to what you believe,

Even if it is a tree that stands by itself.

Hond on to what you must do,

Even if it's a long way from here.

Hold on to your life,

Even if it is easier to let go.

Hold on to my hand,

Even if someday I'll be gone away from you.

Smile

Bat girl's recommended books and films on the them of losing a loved one or on the theme of loss intermingled with hope plus healing!

Films:-

The Secret Life of Bees

Patch Adams

Always

Truly Madly Deeply

Lorenzo's Oil

Beaches

Miss Potter

Moulin Rouge- starring Ewan McGregor

Because of Winn Dixie

Dying Young

Mask- starring Cher

Books:-

The Secret Life of Bees- Sue Monk Kidd

Goodnight Mr Tom- Michelle Magorian

Veronica Decides to Die- Paulo Coelho

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People- Rabbi Harold S Kushner

Message in a Bottle- Nicholas Sparks

The Wedding- Nicholas Sparks

The Rescue- Nicholas Sparks

Warmest wishes to all, keeping you in my thoughts plus prayers, love Clarita xooxoooxoox smile heart cloud


01/31/2011 05:53 AM
Clarita
Clarita  
Posts: 13055
VIP Member

For everyone who is mourning a loss of a loved one , some more words to comfort you today.

His Late Wife's Wedding Ring- George Crabbe

The ring so worn, as you behold,

So thin, so pale, is yet of gold:

The passion such it was to prove;

Worn with life's cares, love yet was love.

xoox

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there, I do not sleep

I am a 1,000 winds that blow

I am the diamond glints on snow

I am the sun on ripened grain

I am the gentle autumn rain

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled light

I am the soft star that shines at night

Do not stand at my grave and cry

I am not there; I did not die.

Anonymous

xoox

Farewell Farewell to Thee! But not farewell

To all my fondest thoughts of Thee;

Within my heart they still shall dwell

And they shall cheer and comfort me.

Life seems more sweet that Thou didst live

And men more true Thou wert one;

Nothing is lost that Thou didst give,

Nothing destroyed that Thou hast done.

Anne Bronte

1820-1849

xoox

He is Gone You can shed tears that he is gone,

Or you can smile because he lived,

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,

Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him

Or you can be full of the love that you shared,

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone

Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,

You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back,

Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes,love and go on.

~David Harkins

xoox

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is close to those who are of a broken heart and saves such as are crushed with sorrow...

Psalm 30:5b

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

xoox

This poem was written by a very brave lady towards the end of her battle with breast cancer. It makes you thinkā€¦.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

By Erma Bombeck

I would have invited friends over to dinner,

Even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the GOOD living room and

Worried much less about the dirt when someone

Wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to

My grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the

Car windows be rolled up on a

Summer day because my hair had

Just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle

Sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with

My children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less

While watching television and more while watching life.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick

Instead of pretending the earth would go into a

Holding pattern if I wasn't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything

Just because it was practical,

Wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy,

I'd have cherished every moment realizing that the

Wonderment growing inside me was the only chance

In life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said,

"Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more, "I love you's" and more,

"I'm sorry's" but mostly, given another shot at life,

I would seize every minute ...

look at it and really see it ...

live it ... and never give it back.

xoox

I'm Free

Don't Grieve for me for now I'm free,

I'm following the path God has laid you see.

I took His hand when I heard Him call,

I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,

To laugh, to love, to work, to play.

Tasks left undone must stay that way,

I found that peace at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void,

Then fill it with remembered joys.

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,

Oh, yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow.

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life's been full, I've savored much,

Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,

Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.

Lift up your hearts and peace to thee,

God wanted me now, He set me free

- author unknown to me

xoox

Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death.

When a life has been lived completely honestly,

completely successfully, or just completely,

the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile.

~ Julie Burchill

xoox

God, make me brave for life: oh, braver than this.

Let me straighten after pain, as a tree straightens after the rain,

Shining and lovely again.

God, make me brave for life; much braver than this.

As the blown grass lifts, let me rise

From sorrow with quiet eyes,

Knowing Thy way is wise.

God, make me brave, life brings

Such blinding things.

Help me to keep my sight;

Help me to see aright

That out of dark comes light.

--Author unknown

Oh, only for so short a while you

Oh only for so short a while you

have loaned us to each other,

because we take form in your act of drawing us,

and we take life in your painting us,

and we breathe in your singing us.

But only for so short a while

have you loaned us to each other.

Because even a drawing cut in obsidian fades,

and the green feathers, the crown feathers,

of the Quetzal bird lose their color,

and even the sounds of the waterfall

die out in the dry season.

So, we too, because only for a short while

so have you loaned us to each other.

--Aztec Indian Prayer

xoox

Exalted, compassionate God, grant perfect peace in Your sheltering Presence, among the holy and the pure who shine with the splendor of the firmament, to the soul of our dear one who has gone to his eternal home. May his soul be bound up in the bond of life. The Lord is his portion. May he rest in peace. And let us say: Amen.

--El Malei Rachamim, Jewish Prayer for the Departed

xoox

When wandering alone, parted from loving friends; When the shapes of one's empty thought-forms dawn upon one here, may the Buddhas, exercising the power of their divine compassion, let there be neither awe nor terror in the bardo [transition state once life has ended].

--The Tibetan Book of the Dead

xoox

Angel

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance

For the break that will make it okay.

There's always some reason to feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day.

I need some distraction, oh beautiful release

Memory seeps from my veins.

Let me be empty and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight.

In the arms of the angels, fly away from here.

From this dark cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear.

You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie.

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here.

- Sarah Mclachlan

xoox

Just as the soft rains fill the streams,

pour into the rivers and join together in the oceans,

so may the power of every moment of your goodness

flow forth to awaken and heal all beings,

Those here now, those gone before, those yet to come.

By the power of every moment of your goodness

May your heart's wishes be soon fulfilled

as completely shining as the bright full moon,

as magically as by a wish-fulfilling gem.

By the power of every moment of your goodness

May all dangers be averted and all disease be gone.

May no obstacle come across your way.

May you enjoy fulfillment and long life.

For all in whose heart dwells respect,

who follow the wisdom and compassion, of the Way,

May your life prosper in the four blessings

of old age, beauty, happiness and strength.

- Traditional Buddhist Healing Blessing

xoox

Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself,

the most comforting words of all; This, too, shall pass.

~ Ann Landers

xoox

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.

- William James

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.

All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.

- Helen Keller

People will forget what you said,

people will forget what you did,

but people will never forget how you made them feel.

- Maya Angelou

xoox

The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.

- jlh

Another Sunrise, Another New Beginning.

- jlh

Life is as easy or as hard as I think it is.

- jlh

Do not mourn the dead, but comfort the living.

- jlh

Whatever you do, do with kindness.

Whatever you say, say with kindness.

Wherever you go, radiate kindness.

- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

xoox

Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.

- Lao Tzu

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.

- Rabindranath Tagore

I cannot know the pain you feel.

I cannot share your memories or your loss.

My words of sympathy are beneath measure, yet

know that my heart reaches out with love to your heart.

- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

xoox

Hope this post will grow- feel free to add to this your poems or quotes that speak of comfort for living with a loss or words to inspire to live life to the fullest inspite of a deep loss.

Warmest wishes to all, love Clarita

sleeping angel


01/31/2011 10:48 AM
Natalia5150
Natalia5150  
Posts: 3632
VIP Member

If you can, when someone close has lost a loved one, just sitting and letting them talk. They need to talk....they need to talk how how they feel and have someone listen to their stories. So just sitting quietly a few weeks after the funeral, is a blessing. The pain acute pain can take as long as a year to become "LESS"

Frequently after the funeral and first 2 weeks....when people fall off is when they need a real friend....and it can take months, taking them out to lunch to a special garden, to the grave yard, are kind gestures in the first 6 months to a year, and however long it takes to process.

There is no time frame.

It can take years and it can be stuffed down in side and never get processed

Because my belief system is different than most of the people in the states i have done hospice in I am generic about what I say, and if I can, and usually I can, I enter into their belief system, to support them, to give them the comfort they deserve and hope they need.

Please do not hesitate to talk to them, ask them if they want to talk, assure them it is OK you are not afraid to help them process, "work through it" your loss, your sorrow, what's happened....that sort of phrasing.

Most people think after 4 months that they should move on, get on with it, get over it, have processed it, that sort of thing.

It takes a year, if they have someone who understands and assures then that it will take time, "it takes a year, sometimes longer" and that you are there for the duration and will happily help them process they will appreciate it.

The main thing it to be real genuine and that will help the most.

hugs

Natty


01/31/2011 10:56 AM
john645
john645  
Posts: 1577
Senior Member

Clarita asked me to copy this over here from quotes.

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die the world cries and you rejoice.

Indian Proverb


02/01/2011 01:54 AM
debhurts
debhurts  
Posts: 1918
Senior Member

Thanks Natty people don't understand me i lost a child, they think i should brush myself off and keep going, no such thind when a mom losses their kid a part of the mom is gone and i dont think that part ever recovers, i misss my son so badly and it's been 2 years i have done the grieving there is just this hole in my soul,that nothing can fill he was my buddy and i will miss him forever, love debi

02/01/2011 08:45 AM
john645
john645  
Posts: 1577
Senior Member

Your right Debi, people don't understand especially those who haven't gone through that kind of loss. A father loses a part of his soul too. After 18 years we still there is still that hole that can't be filled. My wife also miscarried several times the last being twins and we grieved for each of those children too. We do have to keep going but we will carry that sad load with us. Glad we have each other here share the burdens with Debi. (((((hugs)))))

02/01/2011 09:12 PM
KimmyLyn

Dearest John and Debi,

I wanted to say to you both that I am so very sorry for the pain you both feel now and for the emptiness inside. I will never say I understand something that I have not myself gone thru or experienced personally, I cant even imagine the depth of the sorrow that one feels with the loss of a child. My Momma and Daddy know this feeling tho & they are still lost & empty without their son, (my brother), they still cry for him 11 years later and most likely will on and off until they meet again in Heaven, and as much as I wanted to and tried to comfort them, that comfort could only come from the Lord and others who had suffered the same type of loss as they and both of you have.

God has a way of bringing people together and putting people/friends in our path that have the ability to share our sorrows, our joy, our laughter and our pain. And although I am truly sorry for the pain you have endured, I am glad you have each found a friend here who can share and understand your individual burdens.

My prayers and love are with you both.

Kim


02/02/2011 07:32 AM
john645
john645  
Posts: 1577
Senior Member

Just wanted to say thank you kim, can't write any more because I'm tearing up.

(((HUGS)))


02/02/2011 10:24 AM
KimmyLyn

Hugs right back at ya John <3
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