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10/26/2010 04:23 PM

Heading for a Breakdown

Dulce316
 
Posts: 26
Member

I don't know where to start. I haven't been here in a while. So, I'll just write.

I suffer from anxiety to begin with.

I just started a new, harder college. I was going to a community college, and I'm having a tough time adjusting. Plus, I have ADHD, and I feel so stupid compared to everyone else because I can't get all my thoughts down on one page. If I do, it doesn't make sense. I have a tough time explaining things. I have so many thoughts going through my head at one time.

The last time I wrote, my bf (then) and I were having issues. He left me, and he has cut me out of his life. Cut all ties. It's not even that I miss him. It's more that I'm hurt. I'm so hurt. How can someone say they love you, and completely cut you out of their life? He let me have the dog, and he doesn't even wonder how she is. He doesn't wonder how I am. Oh, and this happend a day before the semester started.

Now for the big thing. I got arrested the other night. I got a DWI and an aggravated DWI (blew over .18). I know I was wrong, and it had been a long time coming. I'm in a lot of trouble. Have an appointment with a lawyer monday.

I've missed so many classes this month. I contacted my professors to ask them to set up appointments to help me catch up because I'm a good student. I want to learn. I've just had a rough couple of months, and this DWI has just pushed me over the eddge.

I've barely slept the past few day. I've barely eaten. I can't write a compare/contrast essay that I've been working on for the past week. I'm a good person, and I made a stupid stupid mistake. I feel like I've let everyone down, but most of all, I let myself down. If I fail out of school, Oh God, it's no ones fault but my own.

I feel so alone. So so so alone.

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10/27/2010 07:01 AM
Clarita
Clarita  
Posts: 13087
VIP Member

Dulce, Heart goes out to you massively sweetpea! Asking heaven to mighitly bless you right here right now, too!! Have sent you a private message earlier today, too.

You are not alone as you have all of us here rooting for you as well as this GL!!

You have your angels around you, too!!

You will ride out this storm!!

Good luck for Monday!

Take excellent care of You please.

Giant gentle hugs, love Clarita xooxooxoox


10/27/2010 07:21 AM
Natalia5150
Natalia5150  
Posts: 3632
VIP Member

Sweetheart

I think you need some practical thinking here. Besides your professors you need to talk to a counselor too. Why? To analyze your schedule, and if it is possible you are taking too many classes, also to find out if you can get help with your classes.

It is quite possible they have extra help for the ADHD folks.

Also I have a different take on ADHD; probably because had we had it when I was a kid I would have been labeled as such. As would my hubby.

We believe that ADHD kids tend to be of the higher IQ department but are easily distracted especially if the subject matter is being presented in a dull boring fashion.

find out if fewer classes and extra help is available for you and see how you do then. I think right now you are floundering because you do not have direction, not because you aren't smart. I think you are more than smart enough to tackle any classes. degree path, profession that interests you.

Talk to a counselor first and find out what options you have and then explain those to your professors.

You'll do fine, don't fret, don't get depressed, you just haven't the direction you need right now.

Now then taking everything Clarita, (love you Bat Girl) and I have said you have feet on the ground and metaphysical advice that should give you a game plan with which to go forth and conquer!!!

hugs and kisses

natty


10/27/2010 07:24 AM
Natalia5150
Natalia5150  
Posts: 3632
VIP Member

And stop drinking!!!!!

10/27/2010 08:27 AM
Clarita
Clarita  
Posts: 13087
VIP Member

Totally agree with the lovely Natty Smile! Great minds think alike as Natty said here much of what said in pm, too!

Please please please take most excellent care of You!!

There is always a way around every challenge so do not lose hope- okay!!

Okay the timing was lousy with the relationship split, yet, you can do much better anyhow plus now he is out of the way you can focus on you!!You are young so there is plenty of time for you to be in a relationship- do not rush back into another one as soon as someone else comes along keen on you either, please!! Your soul mate is out there for you, too!

Lean on us all here. Seek all the help you can at college plus any counselling you need outside of college, too.

Sweet dulce( Spanish for sweet), your time of refreshing will come- better days are ahead for you.

Asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness.

Warmest wishes to you, love Clarita xooxooxoox


10/27/2010 12:22 PM
Natalia5150
Natalia5150  
Posts: 3632
VIP Member

Oh Yes!!!! asking for help and guidance is an important step to getting stronger.

And honey, PLeASE don't take no for an answer, there is always a way around these things. I went to college the second time sick and really had to struggle, but I made it because it was my priority, and all the professors and teachers knew it.....

natty


10/28/2010 02:27 PM
Dulce316
 
Posts: 26
Member

Thank you all for your responses.

Still feeling very down.

Trying to stay strong, but its so difficult.

I sleep alot because I don't wanna think anymore.

I emailed all of my professors. Set up appointments. Anxious to show them all that I'm not trying to bs them.

Just trying to stay above water when all I wanna do is drown.

DWI came out in the paper yesturday when the cops told me they wouldn't put it in the paper. Feeling humiliated especially since I live in a small town and know everyone.

Just trying to stay strong and focused.


10/29/2010 01:47 AM
Clarita
Clarita  
Posts: 13087
VIP Member

Dulce, Honey, feel for you right now as so much is happening for you at the same moment. Heart goes out to you especially that your DWI came out in the local paper when the cops told you they wouldn't put in the paper!! Hold your head up high- no one is perfect so no one has the right to point a finger at you or judge you in any way- you will have people who will stick close by you. That was one chapter in your life that you will not repeat- look at it like that.

Sure the college will do all that they can to help you, too.

Keep staying above water. You may want to drown yet keep kicking treading water- know you can be strong, know you will try with all your might!! We are all here for you. You also need to be your own best friend, too!! Be gentle on your good self!!

Hope you will lift yourself up or seek out a therapist to help you- as sleeping all the time so you cannot think is not the answer. Thinking is good especially when it is good positive thoughts!!

Rooting for you massively. Hold on tightly!

(i) Angels fabulously anoint you this Friday(i) may it be so!

Giant gentle hugs, love Clarita xooxooxoox cool quote

Post edited by: Clarita, at: 10/29/2010 01:48 AM


10/29/2010 01:50 AM
Clarita
Clarita  
Posts: 13087
VIP Member

Bat girl is always here for You Dulce!

10/29/2010 04:26 PM
jenigood1
jenigood1  
Posts: 3311
Senior Member

Hi, Dulce, welcome!

Yowee, it's no wonder you feel so hurt and overwhelmed right now. That's a lot to happen all at once! You'll get through it, and the pain will go away sooner than you think, (especially if you let go of wanting him to be sorry or take interest in the dog (she's your doggie now!) and let yourself go on from here); but right now, I know it hurts a lot; not so much missing him, but being so hurt by his seemingly easy dismissal of you. Well, he's just a poophead, and not worthy of you, and it's time to realize that this is a good chance to fall in love with you again, just as Clarita suggested! Be good to yourself, and don't beat yourself up about the DWI. It's done, it sucks, it's a good lesson and a warning. Maybe this will be just what you needed to motivate you to stop drinking! Especially now, when it can only make things worse. (If you want to go cold turkey, talk to a doc to see how you can make it easier on yourself. If you're just an occasional drinker, you should do just fine.)

Talk to us any time you need a shoulder to cry on, advice, support, or just someone to listen! (We're almost as good at that as some of us are at talking!

So take it easy on yourself, and go get that help you need to make things easier at school...and don't worry about what people will think about the boneheaded cops putting your name in the paper. I'll bet you have more real friends there than you realize.

And, you have them here now too! Blessings, Jeni

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