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Seventeen Posts: 193
Member
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Yesterday I went to the mall and tried on swimsuits. I found a really cool one that was multi-colored with a zebra print. I liked how it looked on me and wanted to see my mom's opinion. She thought it looked fine, and so did the employee nearby. But some other person in the dressing room decided to mention that I looked okay for being 4 months pregnant. Sigh. This is the 4th time that I've been falsely accused of being pregnant. I'm getting sick of these comments from others. If I get this one more time I'm gonna blow up on someone.  Autism
Food Allergies (Soy, Milk, Beef, Eggs, Peanuts)
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Fibromyalgia
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IBS
Migraines
Raynaud's
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If you have fibromyalgia and health insurance, go find an osteopath NOW to treat you. It'll be the best thing you ever do. -Amanda
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davesprettylady
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When someone accuses you of being pregnant tell them that you hope they never have kids because they aren't smart enough to breed.  Sorry, my tounge can get me into trouble sometimes....got that from my father  . It kind of depresses me that people can be so damn insensitive and hurtful. I'm sorry people are so terrible sometimes. Try really hard not to pay any mind to them, because they don't deserve it. Please don't feel bad about yourself because of other people's ignorance and stupidity. You look beautiful in the pics on your profile because you are beautiful. Try to ignore the peanut gallery in the dressing room and rock your new zebra striped bathing suit  *hugs* Post edited by: davesprettylady, at: 04/24/2010 09:01 PM |
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Seventeen Posts: 193
Member
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I think I just have rotten luck. I'm always at the wrong place at the wrong time when these types of things occur. I blame it on the fact that I was born on St. Patrick's Day and I'm not Irish.  Autism
Food Allergies (Soy, Milk, Beef, Eggs, Peanuts)
GERD
Fibromyalgia
Hypothyroidism
IBS
Migraines
Raynaud's
TMJ
Vulvodynia
~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
If you have fibromyalgia and health insurance, go find an osteopath NOW to treat you. It'll be the best thing you ever do. -Amanda |
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jenigood1 Posts: 3313
Senior Member
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Oh, don't do that, sweetie! You'll feel bad about yourself. Your feelings are more important than teaching some rude person a lesson that she won't learn anyway because she's socially ignorant. You can, and sometimes should, say something, though, as long as your words and tone are polite and neutral. Within those boundaries, you can tell someone off quite efficiently. Even if they learn nothing, you will at least have made a stand. Respectfully. You could say something like, "Excuse me, you've just hurt my feelings, and I thought you should know that what you said was not appropriate." Or, "Ecxuse me, I was just wondering why you thought that was a kind or appropriate thing to say." Or something like that, in your own words. (The "excuse me" part should be in a very respectful tone!) If you try this the next time some clod steps on your toes, let us know what happens! (If the person reacts in a snippy way, that's not your fault. You said nothing wrong, some people are just jerks.) Did you buy the suit? If you didn't, go back and go for it! I'll bet it looks fabulous.  Jeni
Lamictal
Abilify
Cymbalta
Trazodone
Vyvanse
"Remember - when you fall on your face, you're still moving forward!"
My advice is free, completely anecdotal, and comes from my own experience. Always talk to your doctor before you change anything. |
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davesprettylady
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I'm dreadfully sorry if it came across as my advice was to actually to say things like that. I was just trying to offer some comic relief to get you to smile and expressing my frustration with ignorant people. Definately take Jeni's advice on this one. Being respectful will get you a lot farther than being mean. |
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Clarita Posts: 10803
Group Leader
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Totally agree with Jeni too! Whatever you do or say, just do not ever get into a long dialogue or shouting match with someone like that- never go down /stoop down to their level- otherwise you will twice as mad/sad. Always be respectful even if they refuse to be- always be the better person/always be kinder than they are being to you. Your enemy wants you to be cruel to them- nothing gives them greater pleasure so actually being kind to them is not only what is right yet it annoys them massively too  !! Buy that swimsuit!! If you feel you look good in it then you do look great!! Care not for what an insignificant person says to you- they are insignificant as they play an insignificant part in your life. Pay no attention to what they say as it is rubbish anyhow! Listen only to the words of those who truly care about you!! When you are younger you worry more about what people say to you/ your are more sensitive! In my youth worried more about what people thought or said- now shrug it off like water off a swan's back or water off it's long graceful neck! Methinks the Alexander Technique may help you- to walk tall and have a good posture- help with your confidence. Try to say all the positive affirmations to your fine self too until they become a reality!! Being respectful will indeed get you along a lot further than being mean!! This quote is one of my favourites so want to share it with you! “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Seuss another cool Dr Seuss quote "You are you. Now, isn't that pleasant?” A couple of helpful links for you http://www.alexandertechnique.com/ http://www.sallyannlaw-lifecoach.co.uk/Guide/whatis.html You were born on a lucky day as it was your destiny to be born on that happy day, methinks!! We do not choose all that happens to us yet we do choose how we respond to all that happens to us. We also choose to make our life dynamic/pro active or not- you direct your play/your life. Never say you are unlucky or cursed or any other negative as this will just hold you back and you are far too precious for this!! Asking angels to bless you!! Much love, gentle hugs from Devon in the Uk to You, warmest wishes Clarita xooxooxoox Am massively rooting for You!! |
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ApRiLGeTsAngry77
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Wonderful advice all. |
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naddya819 Posts: 4356
VIP Member
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I had to laugh at Jen's comments, but I think that was her intention! As the others have said, you can attempt to mention politely that they've said something untrue and hurtful, or you can simply say nothing, and not give them even that much power. Words (or lack of) are extremely powerful; use them with care! Love,
Naddya, CPhT(R)
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~~Please remember that I am not a doctor. I am a pharmacy technician, however that doesn't mean I know it all! This site should never substitute medical advice from a qualified medical professional. Check with your doctor before adding any over the counter products or herbal supplements!~~
!!My friends, this, too, shall pass!! |
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Natalia5150 Posts: 3632
VIP Member
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Awww honey, I am really sorry this happened to you and it must have been mortifying! Some people are cruel without meaning to be but surely this person could see your age, and still said it, that's cruel. Did you get the suit? You liked it, You felt you looked good in it, so you probably did look quite nice, so I hope you got the suit in spite of the person who was inappropriate. Hugs Natty gentle hugs and a peck on the cheek,
Natty
I am an RN with a current license since 1984....sheesh that's a long time....but that doesn't mean I am a DOCTOR
I dispense advice freely but you should take it with a grain of salt and do your homework and check with your doctor.
He gets paid more so he must know more. Right?
I am truly sorry your are reading my post, because it means you are here at MD Junction instead of out skydiving or deep sea treasure hunting or climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.......
Empyema-
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DJD hips r knee some fingers
hypoglycemia, which is every bit annoying as hyper
otherwise not so serious if you pay attention
too many meds to count but for our purposes here:
Lyrica is back Yay!
Cymbalta
pain meds |
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Seventeen Posts: 193
Member
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Yeah, I did buy the swimsuit. I didn't say anything back to the person and gave them a nasty look. And that's what I'll do in the future, say nothing. Like Clarita said, it's better to be quiet than start a shouting match with some jerk. But I'm only 18 and I've dealt with the pregnancy accusation 4 times already... it's just frustrating. But it's the least of my problems now. Autism
Food Allergies (Soy, Milk, Beef, Eggs, Peanuts)
GERD
Fibromyalgia
Hypothyroidism
IBS
Migraines
Raynaud's
TMJ
Vulvodynia
~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
If you have fibromyalgia and health insurance, go find an osteopath NOW to treat you. It'll be the best thing you ever do. -Amanda |
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"When I first came to MDJ, I was in need of peer support in dealing with issues of my childhood abuse. I was moving away from the painful issues and trying to find an uplifting group of people to help me transition to a thriver in my life. I found that here. I also found a group of peers with Fibromyalgia and found the same uplifting experience there. My computer crashed and it was a while before I found my way back, this time with issues related to Parkinson's Disease. I had tried a few other support sites before reminding myself of MDJ. On those, I never got a reply. I finally found my way back here and again found very supportive, caring and inspiring people who made me feel like I was 'back home'. Indeed I am." (ThereseML)
