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04/24/2010 11:14 AM

Accused of being pregnant... again

Seventeen
Seventeen  
Posts: 193
Member

Yesterday I went to the mall and tried on swimsuits. I found a really cool one that was multi-colored with a zebra print. I liked how it looked on me and wanted to see my mom's opinion. She thought it looked fine, and so did the employee nearby. But some other person in the dressing room decided to mention that I looked okay for being 4 months pregnant. Sigh. This is the 4th time that I've been falsely accused of being pregnant. I'm getting sick of these comments from others. If I get this one more time I'm gonna blow up on someone.Devil
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04/24/2010 08:56 PM
davesprettylady

When someone accuses you of being pregnant tell them that you hope they never have kids because they aren't smart enough to breed. Laughing

Sorry, my tounge can get me into trouble sometimes....got that from my father Whistling . It kind of depresses me that people can be so damn insensitive and hurtful.

I'm sorry people are so terrible sometimes. Try really hard not to pay any mind to them, because they don't deserve it. Please don't feel bad about yourself because of other people's ignorance and stupidity. You look beautiful in the pics on your profile because you are beautiful. Try to ignore the peanut gallery in the dressing room and rock your new zebra striped bathing suit Smile

*hugs*

Post edited by: davesprettylady, at: 04/24/2010 09:01 PM


04/25/2010 12:56 PM
Seventeen
Seventeen  
Posts: 193
Member

I think I just have rotten luck. I'm always at the wrong place at the wrong time when these types of things occur. I blame it on the fact that I was born on St. Patrick's Day and I'm not Irish. Tongue

04/25/2010 03:57 PM
jenigood1
jenigood1  
Posts: 3311
Senior Member

Oh, don't do that, sweetie! You'll feel bad about yourself. Your feelings are more important than teaching some rude person a lesson that she won't learn anyway because she's socially ignorant.

You can, and sometimes should, say something, though, as long as your words and tone are polite and neutral. Within those boundaries, you can tell someone off quite efficiently. Even if they learn nothing, you will at least have made a stand. Respectfully.

You could say something like, "Excuse me, you've just hurt my feelings, and I thought you should know that what you said was not appropriate." Or, "Ecxuse me, I was just wondering why you thought that was a kind or appropriate thing to say." Or something like that, in your own words. (The "excuse me" part should be in a very respectful tone!)

If you try this the next time some clod steps on your toes, let us know what happens! (If the person reacts in a snippy way, that's not your fault. You said nothing wrong, some people are just jerks.)

Did you buy the suit? If you didn't, go back and go for it! I'll bet it looks fabulous.


04/25/2010 08:28 PM
davesprettylady

I'm dreadfully sorry if it came across as my advice was to actually to say things like that. I was just trying to offer some comic relief to get you to smile and expressing my frustration with ignorant people. Definately take Jeni's advice on this one. Being respectful will get you a lot farther than being mean. Smile

04/26/2010 02:38 AM
Clarita
Clarita  
Posts: 13765
VIP Member

Totally agree with Jeni too! Whatever you do or say, just do not ever get into a long dialogue or shouting match with someone like that- never go down /stoop down to their level- otherwise you will twice as mad/sad. Always be respectful even if they refuse to be- always be the better person/always be kinder than they are being to you. Your enemy wants you to be cruel to them- nothing gives them greater pleasure so actually being kind to them is not only what is right yet it annoys them massively too Wink!!

Buy that swimsuit!! If you feel you look good in it then you do look great!! Care not for what an insignificant person says to you- they are insignificant as they play an insignificant part in your life. Pay no attention to what they say as it is rubbish anyhow! Listen only to the words of those who truly care about you!!

When you are younger you worry more about what people say to you/ your are more sensitive! In my youth worried more about what people thought or said- now shrug it off like water off a swan's back or water off it's long graceful neck!

Methinks the Alexander Technique may help you- to walk tall and have a good posture- help with your confidence. Try to say all the positive affirmations to your fine self too until they become a reality!!

Being respectful will indeed get you along a lot further than being mean!!

This quote is one of my favourites so want to share it with you!

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

- Dr. Seuss

another cool Dr Seuss quoteSmile "You are you. Now, isn't that pleasant?”

A couple of helpful links for youSmile

http://www.alexandertechnique.com/

http://www.sallyannlaw-lifecoach.co.uk/Guide/whatis.html

You were born on a lucky day as it was your destiny to be born on that happy day, methinks!! We do not choose all that happens to us yet we do choose how we respond to all that happens to us. We also choose to make our life dynamic/pro active or not- you direct your play/your life. Never say you are unlucky or cursed or any other negative as this will just hold you back and you are far too precious for this!!

Asking angels to bless you!!

Much love, gentle hugs from Devon in the Uk to You, warmest wishes Clarita xooxooxoox

Am massively rooting for You!!


04/26/2010 06:29 AM
ApRiLGeTsAngry77

Wonderful advice all. Smile

04/26/2010 05:36 PM
naddya819
naddya819  
Posts: 4449
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I had to laugh at Jen's comments, but I think that was her intention! As the others have said, you can attempt to mention politely that they've said something untrue and hurtful, or you can simply say nothing, and not give them even that much power. Words (or lack of) are extremely powerful; use them with care!

04/26/2010 06:02 PM
Natalia5150
Natalia5150  
Posts: 3632
VIP Member

Awww honey,

I am really sorry this happened to you and it must have been mortifying!

Some people are cruel without meaning to be but surely this person could see your age, and still said it, that's cruel.

Did you get the suit? You liked it, You felt you looked good in it, so you probably did look quite nice, so I hope you got the suit in spite of the person who was inappropriate.

Hugs

Natty


04/26/2010 06:25 PM
Seventeen
Seventeen  
Posts: 193
Member

Yeah, I did buy the swimsuit. I didn't say anything back to the person and gave them a nasty look. And that's what I'll do in the future, say nothing. Like Clarita said, it's better to be quiet than start a shouting match with some jerk. But I'm only 18 and I've dealt with the pregnancy accusation 4 times already... it's just frustrating. But it's the least of my problems now.
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