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04/15/2010 12:49 PM

Thank you all for your support

madgardener
madgardener  
Posts: 116
Member

Ok so the guy i was seeing recently, made lame attempt to get back together with me last weekend.... We called it off a month ago because he decided he didnt see us as having any future together, But then sunday he texted that he missed my company.

So Sunday I finally stood my ground with a guy for the first time ever in my life. I did this knowing full well, that it meant we would not get back together. I did it because even tho i liked him a whole lot, even tho the mere idea he might be interested made me want to run to him, i needed to say my piece. I needed to treat myself with respect. The phone text conversation we had on sunday was weird so i sent an e-mail monday to say basically i like you and miss you too, but that does not get us anywhere. This is what I need from a person and this is how i want to be treated so unless your willing to do that we don't have anything to talk about. I wrote off the idea of ever seeing him again. I am so proud of myself, because i've never had the strength or self confidence to do anything like that before, i was always so afraid of pushing guys i like away. I cant thank all of you here enough for helping me see what i'm worth and deserve.

yesterday he contacted me saying that if i was willing to give him a second chance he said he would do everything he can to be a better boyfriend give me what i needed in the relationship.

Because i treated myself with respect, he treated me with respect.

And now i have a chance for a fresh start in a power ballanced relationship.... and i'm taking it.... and it feels really good. I think this is how a relationship is supposed to feel.

Post edited by: madgardener, at: 04/15/2010 01:08 PM

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04/15/2010 01:28 PM
ohfaithful

Madgardener,

First I love your name, second YOU TOOK A HUGE STEP TODAY, huge recognizing the imbalance and standing up for yourself. Be proud of that!

I posted this in the victories thread, but I think it's so relevant here:

Today on the Oprah Show there was an expert in relationships who said something that stuck with me, he said that ANYONE WHO DOESN'T ACCEPT THE WORD "NO" FROM YOU IS TRYING TO CONTROL YOU!Ermm

He also said that for WOMEN NO IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEGOTIATION (for me I saw MANIPULATION), for MEN "NO" MEANS "NO!" Shocked

I thought that was very profound!

Faith Wink

congratsbelieveachieve


04/15/2010 07:45 PM
madgardener
madgardener  
Posts: 116
Member

there is no way i could have done it without this site, you all have been awesome and so encouraging. I can only hope to help some of you as much as you all have helped me.... and continue to help eachother because lord knows i still need it!!

04/15/2010 10:49 PM
davesprettylady

Congrats!!! I'm sooo happy for you!!! I'm so proud of you for standing up for what you deserve!!! I had a really yucky day today, and reading your post is the first thing that really made me smile. Smile

04/16/2010 02:34 AM
Clarita
Clarita  
Posts: 13053
VIP Member

Madgardener- fantastic achievement!! Really proud of You! Keep up being most excellent, too! Love that you have stood up for You- this is the first step of a new you/ a new life. When you become empowered like this life becomes much more dynamic in all kinds of ways- it will be like a snow ball effect or a ripple effect- you will notice as you become stronger not only will your life be more amazing yet you will help others too as you will touch lives with a magic you could never imagine possible.

Taking care of self is not selfish it is being selfful which is different- it is saying I deserve to be treated with respect and I am worthy. When you are selfful you also give out much more love plus kindness to others, too! It is a win win situation.

Am very excited for You!!

Gentle hugs, love the bat girl Clarita xooxooxoox


04/17/2010 07:03 PM
jenigood1
jenigood1  
Posts: 3311
Senior Member

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