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04/01/2010 12:10 PM

phone number thought

Posts: 55
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

I've been giving it some hear me out.

Would it be so bad if I gave someone here my number?

I love to e-mail and whatnot, but I'm not always near my computer. Neither are you.

So what if you're out and about one day...having a really bad day...and just need two minutes of reassurance or advice? Who do you call?

It'd be kinda like an A.A. Sponsor thing. I'd agree to sponser someone or vice/versa...the number would be given out only an as needed type basis...totally voluntary and whatnot.

What does everyone think?

(Sorry if this is a duplicate...I wanted to post it on all my groups)

Thank you!


04/01/2010 01:36 PM
Posts: 3632
VIP Member

On the surface and believing in you that you only have the best thoughts I would say no it wouldn't be so bad.....

But let me let out my evil psych nurse to explain why you might not want to do this:

Not everyone is purely altruistic

some here might be truly psychotic

all the members here are protected by the safeguards set in place by Roy and ALON....

and that might not be the case with the exchange of phone numbers.

If someone has my phone number they can use a reverse directory to find the real estate address....

In AA everyone shows up at the door. BUT you aren't supposed to date someone from your AA group. Are you? They don't encourage fraternization, do they?

I did just read the rules of use and privacy is recommended you do not share your numbers.

All that being said yes there are times when we really want to get a hold of someone smarter and wiser than we are ourselves.....but sometimes it is not possible, like for instance right now there are no other group leaders on the fibro site....hello??? So there was no one wiser and better looking to ask about your queary.

On the other hand perhaps anyone you would ask it of or who would ask it of you is so perfectly attuned to the lifestyles AND sensibilities

and is perfectly sane and would never intend harm....

I don't know.

And then there are the people I call black holes or soul suckers...

They are, pure and simple, evil....give them an inch they try to suck your soul right out of you, and unless you have had experience with them, by the time the novice realizes they are in over their head, they are truly in over their head and are hurt, destroyed, broken

and unable to save themselves. And these people come in the guise of doctors, nurses, social workers, grandmothers, nuns and priests....all likely to strike a feeling of safety in us by virtue of their title.

And then there is the reverse....."He said he only wanted to help, and agreed to meet my daughter at the local McDonald's and I haven't seen her since".....guess who is now suspect number 1.

Unless you have played through all the sceanerios possible in human interaction and have worked out how you will handle it if you are on the receiving end of a walking black hole or are accused of something awful like murder or rape I would advise you to be careful, circumspect, and thoughtful before you give out your number.

But what do I know....just being a little dreary, but maybe that's because real life can be somewhat dreary if we aren't quite careful.

I doubt I have helped you...I couldn't find anything in the rules that forbade it. So I would caution you to be careful.....and don't forget about reverse directories.

However I have worked with walking black holes and dealt with the truly psychotic, and aM truly glad I do not any more, it takes an awful lot out of you.

So think it through, very carefuly. I truly do not want to see you hurt.


Post edited by: Natalia5150, at: 04/01/2010 01:41 PM

04/01/2010 06:55 PM
Posts: 4435
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I have exchanged phone numbers with only a very few people and both my numbers are cell phones that cannot be traced to me (one's a prepaid, one's a company phone). Mostly, I do texting because I'm addicted to it. Maybe Roy and Alon need to set up a group for that! LOL Anyway, I would be VERY wary of giving out a number, like Natty said, that can be traced to you and your physical location. There ARE weirdos out there. But, I work in law enforcement so I see the worst of the worst of humanity. It makes me kind of cynical!

04/02/2010 08:12 AM
Posts: 3632
VIP Member

You are right Naddy.....our areas of work do make us cynical...

Post edited by: Natalia5150, at: 04/02/2010 08:13 AM

04/02/2010 08:26 AM
Posts: 55
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

You're right, of course. There are some real jerks out there that look nice but really aren't.

I guess what was going through my mind was kind of a utopian altruistic society where we're even more connected, in a way that if we're out and about we can call one another to receive guidance and whatnot.

I'm not totally naive...I know that even here, there are people with not-so-good motives. But if you don't take any risks, then how can you gain ground?

I suppose it comes right down to selectively and carefully developing friendships, and then go from there.

The reason I wasn't to develop inappropriate relationships. I'm hapily married, got two great kids...but there isn't anyone around to talk to.

Sometimes I just need to hear another real human that knows what it's like to go through what we all go through.

So yeah, I suppose I was initially thinking optimistically...but thank you for putting a more realistic spin on things.

Not that I think y'all are wet blankets and nay-sayers. I DON'T THINK THAT AT ALL. I promise.

Y'all are just looking out for me...and for each other. Good onya.

Thanks for your actually is quite valuable, and very much appreciated.


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