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02/21/2010 04:00 AM

Creating the Life You Want- Setting Goals


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Creating the Life You Want

The Ten Steps to Accomplishing a Goal

1. State as clearly as possible in a positive manner what it is that you want to create in your life.

Within the next (time frame)__________________, I choose to ...

2. Be clear why you want this and how your life will be different once you achieve this goal.

I believe the benefits of doing this will be ...

If I decide not to do this, it will mean...

3. Understand what you have going for you to help you achieve this goal.

Three things that I have going for me in terms of creating the kind of future that I want are ...

4. Understand the challenges that exist.

Three things that may keep me from creating the kind of future that I want are...

5. Be especially aware of the negative self-talk that sabotages and undermines your attempts to succeed.

The negative and destructive self-talk that I need to watch out for is…

I will fight this negative self-talk by …

6. Be clear about what you need to achieve this goal in terms of skills, resources, support systems, etc.

I need to learn the following skills in order to accomplish this goal…

I need to get these resources…

I need to develop these supports…

7. List the 3-5 major actions that you need to take to start moving toward this goal.

I need to get started by doing these things…

8. Think of ways to care for yourself as you work to achieve this goal.

I will take care of myself while working to create the kind of future I want by…

9. Stay focused on what you want to create, not on the difficulties you might be having.

I will keep myself focused on what I want to create and the benefits this will bring me by …

10. Be easy on yourself! Have fun! Enjoy it! Enjoy life!

I will remember to be easy on myself. Have fun! Enjoy it! I will work to enjoy life by doing these things…


02/21/2010 06:31 AM
Posts: 3632
VIP Member

Hey there WonderWoman,

This really works.

Way back yonder in ancient times when I thought I would never meet a decent man, I took a notebook, one of those blank books, and wrote down everything I could think of that I wanted in a husband.

It was three pages long,

(hey why not?)

A friend asked me if I could have everything except__________________what would be the one thing I would leave off.......

That was easy.....Money.....we didn't have to be rich......

within that week the physical therapist in our town called me at the doctor's office where I was manager, and said' "I m sending over my best take good care of him."

My knees went week when I met this man...literally. I set him up for a full appointment, gave scripts for the hospital for xrays etc, and then for some ointment the doctor liked people to use, called "white Flower oil" Which could be equated to Tiger Balm.

So I was giving him instructions in the waiting room that still had a few people left , and I said "Have your wife massage this....."

he: "I don't have a wife."

me: "Have your girlfriend....."

he: "Don't have a girlfriend..."

me: "You're boyfriend?"

The people in the office burst out laughing

When he came back the next day I checked him in and did his vitals;

OH my!!! Was he ever the best looking man I had ever seen without his shirt on.....

I looked into his eyes and thought I could look into his eyes for the rest of my life.

I called him later to give him some instructions, and then against all rules of decorum asked him out for coffee and he said how about a picnic at the lake on Saturday?

We agreed to meet at the library at noon and I didn't get home until 7 pm that night.

I was totally head over heels...16 years old again....

Three months later he came into my house after having run several miles while waiting for me to get home from work. Because he was all sweaty he sat on the floor pouring sweat off, and said in his technical, engineer kind of precision type thing; "I think we need to get married."

I said "If you still feel that way after a shower I'll have an answer for you.

He did, I did, everyone in town said it was a big mistake, the physical therapist couldn't believe it because my honey had always said he was never getting married.

No one supported us...but we knew it was RIgHT!!!!

We were married after knowing each other 3 months..

20 years later, he still makes me go weak in the knees and I still love gazing into his eyes and we learned how to be married, and I have never regreted my decision and trust in God.

And the people who didn't think it would work well, well. They are divorced or miserable in their lives, but I am content and grateful and more in love than ever.

Writing down the positive things you want to have happen. AND being detailed, and in thinking through and writing what you have to do to make it happen.....Helps you get straight in your in what you really want.

I used the technique at the psych hospital with the adolescents: Where do you want to be in 5 years and what do you have to do to get there?

Its a great idea April and I am so glad you posted it!!!

For those who have never tried it give it a go!!!

all my love


02/21/2010 05:59 PM
Posts: 759

April- thank you for that post. I love all of the "exercises" you post. They're my homework. Hehe.

Natalia- what a great story, such inspiration to complete this.

02/22/2010 03:19 AM

You are welcome. You do not know how good it feels for me to know that the info I post is helpful and useful. Smile

Natalia- Thanks for sharing that inspiring story. I always love to read your posts. You put so much postive passion in them!

02/22/2010 08:12 AM
Posts: 759

They really do help. I was looking at past posts and saw there was conversations about packets to work on to help self-esteem. Are they still available? If they are I would love to work on them.

02/22/2010 12:41 PM

This is a great post, and truly needs to be a sticky!

Faith Smile

11/30/2010 02:30 PM
Posts: 3632
VIP Member

I remember in 6th grade, say about 1962 I was watching the news on tv with my parents. The news people were talking about the Soviet Union and their 5 year plans. So I asked questions, what does this mean to have 5 year plans. I was told that they were at point A and in 5 years they want to be at point B. Then they plot how to get from point A to point B.

But how do you do that. I wondered. I asked teachers, I asked friends, and finally in frustration since no one could give me a real answer, I decided to write somethig I really wanted down on a piece of paper and hide it and see if it worked.

What I wrote down was that I wanted to play piano in the new LA County Music Center. over the next few years I joined orchestras, kept practicing and learning and getting better.

By the time I was in 9th grade I had played piano in the LA County Music Center with various orchestras made of students from around the county, the best student musicians no less. An I got to play in that sand box with them, the beautiful new LA County Music Center.

After 9th grade I dug out my 5 year plan, I had accomplished it in 3 years. I decided I had not reached high enough. Ever since then I have used the 5 year plan; because even if I do not know exactly how to make the dream come true, by keeping the 5 year plan in the back of my mind, thinking about it, I would watch and when I saw opportunities I would move to them, take them work on them do them...I would work toward my 5 year plan.

Even if you do not actively think about your 5 year plan the fact that you have it and have written down the goal, you will unconsciously work toward the goal of the 5 year plan.

try it, it really works

hugs Natty

Post edited by: Natalia5150, at: 11/30/2010 02:35 PM

11/30/2010 06:24 PM
Posts: 231

I definitely believe in the goal setting, step by step taking, written contract with self making. I'm trying to come up with a "curriculum" right now to address teens in my family with. I plan on making them my critique squad and unbeknownst to them, they'll be working the "curriculum" themselves! I am not above trickery, you see! My pages are very similar to what you have posted, April. I like that!

Natalia, what a sweet and romantic story! I am so tickled to hear that some of the wonderful romance stories really do happen in real life! How very sweet. Thanks for sharing. Now, how do we clone your hubby?!!!!!! LOL.

Can someone explain what a "sticky" is? I keep seeing that word here.

01/10/2011 02:23 AM
Posts: 13909
VIP Member

6 Important Reason Why You Need To Set Goals ~by Celes

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” – Bill Copeland

“You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal.” – Zig Ziglar

6 key reasons why setting goals is so important:

1. Gives Clarity On Your End Vision

As the opening quote by Bill Copeland put it across very adeptly, if you don't have a goal in life, you are spending your life running around and not achieving anything for yourself. You get the illusion that you are doing a lot of things, but they aren't what you want. You are just busy fulfilling everyone's goals. It can be the fast food industry enjoying your patronage because you're lovin' it, multi-billion dollar consumer goods companies securing your purchase because they convinced you that their haircare products with 76% frizz reduction is something you need, fashion houses getting you to buy their clothes because it makes you look cool, or you working in a job you don't love because it is safe, secure and rakes in the dough.

How are you supposed to manifest what you want if you don't even set concrete goals? How do you supposed to achieve your dreams and visions if you don't clearly spell out the end output you desire?

Setting your goals gives you clarity on what you ultimately want. It makes you crystallize and articulate the desires floating in your mind. It ensures that you are channeling your time, energy and efforts into things that really matter to you. It makes you live more consciously.

Everything in this world is created twice: First – creation in your mind, followed by the manifestation in reality. Without the mental creation, there will be no physical creation. When you set a goal, you already accomplish the first creation. You have set into motion a decree for yourself and the forces of your universe to materialize the goal in the physical reality.

2. Drives You Forward

Your goals are a representation of your inner desires; desires which motivate you in life. The point when you set goals marks one the points when you are most connected with your source of motivation. It is when your motivation is at its peak. Having goals at your side serve as constant reminders of your motivational sources. They are the fuel which drive you forward and keep you going when the going gets tough.

If I ever experience moments where I lose motivation, I get into meditation mode and focus on some of my most important goals in life, including the goal to turn my personal development business into a full-time career. I will visualize the scenario with full mental clarity, as if it is happening in the now. When I do that, it's like a clear connection is formed with my inner desires. The motivational energy suddenly surges through very readily and I channel this energy into my daily life and actions.

3. Gives You Laser Focus

Goals give you a single focal point to place your attention in. Whereas your purpose gives you a broad, directional focus to move your life in, goals gives you laser focus on what exactly to spend your time and energy on. Think of your time, energy and efforts as input, and results as the output. A goal acts as your funnel which guides and channels those inputs effectively into your desired output.

When you don't have goals, you are floating around every day. Your energy is randomly dispersed in ad-hoc activities which you engage on whimsical basis. These are activities that play no role in your larger scope of life, but you are not aware of because you are just living life as it is. You end up mislabeling a lot of ‘nice-to-do' activities as important. You might also be engaging in these ‘nice-to-do' activities because you can't think of a better way to spend your time. Do you find yourself surfing and chatting excessively? Busy running errands? Play a lot of games? Spend the bulk of your time being a workaholic? Spend the remaining time lazing and/or partying away? What's your objective for doing them? What end output does it lead to? Is that the top priority in your life?

You may have a broad idea of what you want to do. But until you clearly articulate it out as specific goals, you are not channeling your efforts properly. You will often find yourself getting sidetracked because you don't have goals to rein you in. It's really quite easy to get swept away by the currents of everyday life, simply because there are so many stimulus out there in our environment. You may get the general overall impression that you are moving in the direction, but it is just an illusion that you are having. With no goals, you have no focus. Without this focus, your input is strewn around randomly to give you garbage output. That is, if you even get any semblance of an output at all.

4. Makes You Accountable

Having goals makes you accountable. Rather than just talking about what you want all the time and not do anything concrete about them, you are now obligated to take action. Setting a specific goal gives you clarity on whether you are living up against what you committed yourself to do when you first set your goal.

This accountability is accountability to yourself, not anyone else. This accountability is what you hold up to when you choose the healthy salad over that piece of fried chicken. It is what you answer to when you spent that hour working on your report rather than random web surfing. When you stay accountable towards your goals, you are in fact staying true to your desires (see point 1 above).

For my blog, one of the goals I set is the number of articles which I want to write every week. When I set such targets in place, I become accountable towards delivering against it. If I find myself falling short, I will take the necessary actions to turn the situation around. I examine how I have been spending my time and start prioritizing across my daily tasks. I cut out the Quadrant 4 tasks (time wasters) or activities that bear little to no relation to my goals. From this, I have reduced considerable time on my biggest time wasters, including chatting, random web surfing, constantly checking my mail/web stats, certain outings which are not as important compared to my writing goal.

5. Be The Best You Can Be

Goals help you achieve your highest potential. Without goals, you subject yourself to the natural, default set of actions that keep you feel safe and comfortable every day. But this familiarity is the nemesis of growth. It prevents you from growing. It does not enable you to become the best person you can be. It denies you from tapping into all that potential inside of you.

By setting goals, you set targets to strive against. These targets make you venture into new places, new contexts, new situations which puts you into growth mode. They make you stretch beyond your normal self and reach new heights. For example, setting a time limit for your run lets you know if you should be running faster. Setting a weight loss target makes you aware if your actions have been effective in losing weight. Setting a career goal ensures you are not settling for anything less than what you desire.

In my goal achievement processes, I have found myself constantly bursting through new grounds and uncovering potential which I did not know existed before. Without those goals, I would be taking the path of least resistance, just doing things within their natural constraints. Goals have made me face and overcome countless barriers to get to what's on the other side. It has made me much more self aware and learn a lot more things about both myself and life, compared to if I did not have those goals.

6. Live Your Best Life

Goals ensure you get the best out of life, for two reasons.

Firstly, by becoming a better person, your new found knowledge and abilities let you experience more out of the same life events compared to the previous you. Think about how your worldview is different now vs the you 10 years ago. Do you see life with much more clarity, depth and perspective today than you were in the past? What may be a simple daily occurrence in the past holds a lot more meaning to the more highly evolved you today.

Secondly, time passes in our life, whether we want to or not. Goals with specific measures and deadlines ensure we are maximizing our output and experiences during our time here. If you have already discovered your life purpose, your goals will ensure you get the best out of your purpose.

Imagine you are driving a car. When you identify your purpose, you get clarity on the direction to travel in. However, without specifying an exact destination and time frame, there is no yardstick to benchmark your progress against. It wouldn't make a difference whether you are whizzing at an amazing 140km/hour or a paltry 10km/hour since you never set a target. Goals ensure you are maximizing your life for all that it can offer you.

Start Setting Goals

Ask yourself this – What are my goals for the upcoming 1 year, 3 years, 5, 10 years?

If you are to take some time out to set your goals now, I can guarantee you that you will definitely experience more growth as a person. By just spending a few minutes to articulate some aspirations that have been in your mind, you will experience more progress in your life a year from now than compared to if you don't.


This is a fabulous post started up by April so wanted to bring it to the top once more by adding some new snippets on the theme.

Warmest wishes to all plus good luck with your own individual goal setting throughout 2011 Smile!

Love, ClaritaSmile


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