Hi I am new to this group, I suffered from physical abuse for many years, then it turned to emotional verbal mental ect..... I suffer everyday from the memories of the physical abuse. The worst was when I was 6 moths preg and got dragged down the stairs by the head of my hair. It happened many years ago but it is stuck in my head there was alot more would take to long to type it out. BUT I did finally get the courage to leave. No I have suicide thoughts all the time. Tryed to take my life a couple times. Dont know why I did not finish it off? But being alone is the scarest. My shrink thinks I has stockhome syndrom. sorry for the bad spelling...
i completely understand where your coming from. I was married for 10 years and thought that the only way to completely heal from it was to commit suicide. The only way to get the memories out of my head and make the nightmares stop. but what keeps me going is the knowledge of seeing my children grow up and not have to deal with anymore abuse from their father. If i was to be gone he would get them and turn my son into himself and my daughter into what i hate more. MYSELF. Not trying to boss you around but speaking from experience, look at your kids and think of what would happen to them if you were gone? Thats what keeps me going everyday, and the fact that i am now a survior no longer a victum. you are special and your time is not done.
12/03/2011 05:24 PM
Posts: 192 Member
I am sorry this is going on. I was abused by my father to the point where he put me in the hospital by his own hands and once I put myself in after a failed suicide attempt. He was still in my head controlling me eventhough I had moved out years earlier. It took some counceling and cutting all ties with him after I had found the strengh to confront him. Of course he denied everything but it felt so good getting all those years of abuse off my chest. I was finely able to move on and heal.
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