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12/05/2007 06:44 PM

Hello

battyburnett
battyburnett  
Posts: 46
Member

I have schizoid personality disorder. My emotions have always been either very good (manic) or very bad (thoughts of suicide). I knew as a very young child that I was different from everyone else.

I was picked on in school which to me was devistating. I would see others getting picked on, and couldn't understand why it didn't hurt them as bad.

I lived in a world that was black or white. Either something was the best way to do things or was extremely wrong. I'm now 48 years old and I have finally stopped feeling that if someone didn't think like I did, that I was a terrible person. I have been on many different medication combinations. Most had adverse reactions that I couldn't handle. My doc says that the ones I am on now are the last ones they could try.

I now take Geodone, Cymbalta, Vestril, and Cogentin. I haven't had a thought of suicide in about two years. The amazing thing about that is that I also have many health problems (I haven't been shopping in several years). I still have feelings of guilt sometimes (over what I don't know). Now, most of the time when I cry, it's because I am in a lot of pain.

I wanted to let others know that there is actually a light at the top of that pit they have fallen into. You have to live one day at a time.

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12/07/2007 12:03 PM
battyburnett
battyburnett  
Posts: 46
Member

I may have given the wrong impression. I did not mean to imply that I am 'normal'. I just don't plan my death everytime something goes wrong.

I still get overwhelmed when I am around others. After a few minutes of talking and laughting, I have to go to my room. I always feel like they can tell that my mind is on vacation.

The main problem that I have at this time is that I alway feel guilty about everything. Even things that have absolutely nothing to me.

Please join this group so that I will know someone else understands.


10/17/2008 04:28 PM
Fizz
Fizz  
Posts: 60
Member

people generally overwhelm me, so I tend to opt out of situations that make me be with others then I feel awful for not joining in and like you say, if I am there seems like my mind isnt. Im here cause its good to know others understand
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