Make him feel useful again

I’m Teresa and I understand your agony. Well, while we’ve no clue about the onslaught of the disorder, I can recommend some coping strategies. He’s frustrated because after leading an active life, he’s unable to use his limbs. That can frustrate anyone and send them to throes of depression. But he’s fortunate to have a brave wife. Why don’t you suggest that he uses his strengths to help society? If limbs cannot be used, he can still use his vocal chords. Maybe he can teach! Maybe sing. Maybe instruct students. Why don’t you approach support groups in your church and community and request them to visit your home and lend their ears? Your husband will feel useful again.

Theresa

Hi Teresa,

Glad to know there’s someone who is making time to read my post and suggest a few things. Yes, I’ve suggested a few things to him that would keep him occupied, but currently, all he does is wallow in self-pity. Harry always enjoyed dabbling in painting and was an active participant in church activities. However, these days, he hates it even when we visit the church. I suppose, he feels betrayed by the Almighty. Yes, he does listen to music on the radio station during the season. That’s about it.

Medically, his disorder has no known cure. A miracle could be the only answer. But his reactions intimidate even those community helpers who try to befriend us. My boys are busy with their high school activities, and don’t find the time to cater to his every whim. Life seems a drudge and tends to drag aimlessly.

Helen

Post edited by: Helen, at: 09/07/2007 09:50

Hi Helen,

That’s nice. Harry was a keen Church participant, which emphasizes the fact that he did have implicit faith in God. His present state leaves him with little faith in anything. Why don’t you try counseling? Family counseling? Perhaps a family counselor will be of much help. You need it as much as he and the boys. Take heart, you’ve wonderful boys who I believe are responsible.

Has Harry exercised his vocal chords? Can he teach music? I suppose he can talk and communicate well, despite the handicap. Pass word around in your community and you may find youngsters interested in learning music. If it works, he can even volunteer to teach or help underprevileged children with their lessons.

Look around, you’ll find something to keep him occupied. He ultimately needs to divert his attention to better things. Hope this settles you.

Teresa