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AARONRANCH
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Once upon a time I had a great job and a very active life. As a 911 Operator/Dispatcher I really enjoyed the "High Risk Job" of helping others. Joking around with my co-workers got us through the stress of each day. Everyone would tease me about being a Red-Neck Woman. And I was proud of it. 4-wheelers, go-carts, horses, driving dump trucks and semi...that was me. I also had a soft spot for animals that no one wanted anymore. Dogs, cats, horses, goats, pigs, etc....if it needed a home, my husband would look away and shake his head because he knew I just couldn't say no. That is until one animal changed my life forever.............. A friend told me about a pot belly pig that needed a home. The pig was in danger of being eaten by the tigers they had. So I convinced Larry to take me over to bring him home. When we got there, he wasn't the cute little pot belly pig I thought he was going to be. Instead he was about 250lbs, huge tusks and looked to be a crossed with a wild bore. We kinda looked at each other for a moment and thought about leaving him there. Then he sat down in front of me shook his head for me to give him a cookie. That was all it took. We loaded him up and brought him home. We locked the dogs on the other side of the fence and let the horses out of the stall so they could bond with him. That was a mistake. They chased and reared at him. I never saw them act that way before with any of the other animals. We got them separated. I was bending down scratching "Arnold" on his side to calm him down. Just when he was about to fall over asleep, Larry went through the gate towards the house and the dogs came running. I stood up to yell at them and when I did, thats when I felt his tusk rip through my leg. I grabbed the flesh of my leg and squeezed it tight and limped to the tack room. I quickly wrapped it with a towel and yelled over to Larry I needed to go to the hospital. Because of the infection from a pig they couldn't sew it up. While in the exam room I had alot of hospital staff visitors. I guess it's not everyday someone comes in whos been tusked. The Director thought it was ironic that someone that worked for the Sheriffs Office was hurt by a pig. I may have lost a little skin but I still had my humor. My primary physician didn't know what to do with me. He sent me to a wound care doctor who felt the same way. Within 5 months the wound had healed but the pain didn't. I still couldn't walk or drive. All I kept hearing was it takes up to a year for this type of injury to heal, not to worry. All I needed was a little Physical Therapy. So much for that, 2 months later and I still couldn't walk right. Hartford cut my short term disibility and my medical leave was about up. I had to return to work or else. So I did my best to drive to my Supervisors house and we rode into work together. Driving hurts, sitting makes my foot sting and go cold, and trying to concentrate on my job was not going well. I lasted about a week before I broke down and couldn't stop crying at work. They drove me all the way home and told me not to bother come in for the rest of the week. I went to see a foot doctor who wrote me a note with driving restrictions. They allowed me to work light duty at the Training Range. It is every Red Necks dream to work a job where you can take your guns in for show n tell. Everything would have been great if I didn't come in every morning crying in pain. And left every afternoon the same way. The foot doctor didn't know what to do with me so she sent me to a Pain Management doctor. Upon my first visit I was diognosed with RSD. I never will be able to describe what it felt like to have someone know what I was going through and give it a name. I was scheduled for the first of 3 Lumbar Epidural Injections a week later. I had one in November, December, and January. I was sick from the steroids the intire time. I turned red, felt dizzy, sick, and light hurt my eyes. I never did return to work. After each injection I only felt relief for a week at a time. The next step was the Spinal Cord Stimulator Trial. Then I lost it. They sent me to talk to someone. She told Larry not to let me go back to work and find a social security attorney. I had the SCS implant trial done. Having those wires hanging out of my back made it had to sleep. When I got a pain it would vibrate. It's sopposed to block the pain. Now that's a weird feeling. After a week it was removed and I was to be scheduled for the big one. And I am still waiting. I can't seem to find a Social Security Attorney that will file my appeal and get me my long term disibility. From what I understand the Sheriffs Office is going to give me the choice to return to work of be fired. The last attorney to turn me down advised me he didn't want to take my case because I sounded like I would return to work. I could not make him understand that without my job there would be no insurance. So I am being punished for wanting to work while disabled. So I am still looking for an attorney and a cure...My name is Carol and I am just not ready to give up. |
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Emilyb
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 Your story really got to me, Carol. Don't know really what to say, and, to my shame, I've never even heard about this diagnostic before. I just wanted to give you a virtual hug and assure you that you're never alone, and look, me, a total stranger, from afar, I'm sending a good thought for you. Exactly why did you develop this? I see that you're not resigned to being disabled, and take it as a temporary challenge (or maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I am), which is the most important thing in the fight: not to think you've lost the fight already. God bless you, be strong, and BE WELL! 
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AARONRANCH
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Thank-you Emilyb for your kind words. I myself had never heard of this diagnostic before. My RSD was caused by the trama of the tusk. My nerves began firing and couldn't stop. As a doctor once told me, it's like when a limb has been cut off and you still feel it. Over the past year it seems to have gotten better, but I will never be without pain. I can't be cured but I can be made comfortable. By either a life of pain meds or the Spinal Cord Stimulator. If the SCS works like its sopposed to, then according to the DVD they gave me I have a shot at comfort without meds. I am not sure how comfortable an inner vibration will be, but that's all I have at this point. I applied for Social Security Benefits in Febuary. I am still being bombed with paperwork. As far as being permantly disabled, I can't answer that. What I hear and what I want to hear are 2 different things. I'm just not ready to accept. There are just too many things out there I want to do. If all goes well I will be scheduled for the SCS on the 23rd of this month. I am about to freak out with just the thought. But I can't sit around here feeling sorry for myself because there are other people out there that are worse off than me. This SCS has got to work. I already lost a year of my life and I refuse to loose anymore.
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jerseybing
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wow....your one tuff "cookie"....good for you..........i've been thru the "whole system" for 12 years....i hope your search for something to help "maintain" your pain works out...now.....for the reality of Social Security Disability....you can not get SSD if your still working...but on the flip side..once your approved...they have "back to work" programs...where can work and still receive your SS......BUT... getting SS is a nightmare....you have to be diagnosed as completley disabled....now...if the pain gets so bad and you decide you just can't work anymore that's where the "journey" begins....you will be examined by the SS doctors..but..most important you need a doctor in your corner.....stateing you are 100% disabled and cannot work...also..SS will go back thru your work history and whatever jobs you had in the past..they may say...well..you can go back and do that job....also..once you start the process for SS..it can take 2 years before your approved...this is where they get ya....alot of people cannot go 2 years without a income and/or like you said... your medical benefits....bottom line is: having doctors stateing you cannot do any type of work.....the "so-called" thersehold is: can't sit-stand or walk for more than 20-30 mins at a time...I hope i havn't "bummed" you out with this...but like i said...getting Disability is a tricky deal....if you do decide to go for disabilty....every time you see a doctor..even if your having a "good" day...complain-complain-complain....i can tell by your post your a "sef-suficient".. "get-up and do it" type person....but in the Socical Disability world you get "penalized" for having any kind of "I can do it attitude"..........good luck Carol.........jerseybing |
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AARONRANCH
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Thank-You for your words of wisdom. It in no way bummed me out. Social Security sent me to see a Doctor for my depression, while there he made the comment "I am most likely going to be disabled...", I don't remember much of the conversation that followed, it hit me like a rock. All I could do was bow up and respond I wasn't going to be disabled, I was gonna get better. (I have been known to be a little stubborn sometimes.) 05-30-07 I had the Spinal Cord Stimulator Implant Surgery. Because I can't feel the vibration down my leg into my foot, I had to have 2 doctors do the precedure. Everything went OK the first 5 days until my toes began to hurt. (Along with the hole in my back where the wires went and the hole above my right cheek where the implant is.) Then I almost lost it. And I'm still trying to hold on to it. Not that a person like me would ever know what normal is..but is it normal to fight the words "disabled" ? |
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summerlove313
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You are definitely in PAiN. There is no pain that even comes close to the extremes as that of RSD/CRPS. Cancer pain is rated in the 20's on the McGill Pain Index Scale compared to RSD/CRPS pain rated at 48. That's pain. Top it off that NOBODY believes you. I have been called crazy, stupid, lazy, selfish, a liar, a sandbagger, a thief etc., etc.,etc. I had RSD/CRPS for almost two years before diagnosis and treatment. By that time there was no hope for anything to work. A year later I was in a wheel chair and RSD/CRPS throughout my entire body. I worked for 8 months after my on the job injury, lifting 75-100 pounds on a regular basis and never sitting down. I worked 60 to 100 hour weeks. My employer paid me for 40 hour weeks and claimed my salary (I was salaried) that I was fired for time clock fraud instead of the injury where I could no longer work 70 hours and be on my feet 12-18 hours a day. My direct supervisor would laugh when I would cry in pain and tell me to "Take another pill". I was rushed into the hospital for severe internal bleeding, near death from "taking another pill", that was caused from the medication I was wrongly prescribed which was later pulled from the market because from those very effects. The next three years, I lived homeless and penniless, fighting social security for disability benefits. I had worked for 31 years and could not get any assistance for anything because I had no children to support. It was fine if I starved to death in my car. Good thing for returnable bottles and cans I found lying in ditches on the side of the road and at rest areas. I did not get any settlement from my employer because RSD/CRPS does not show up on an x-ray and back then it was not even recognized as existing.I fought for every treatment, every morsel of food, every medication and finally won my disability. Today I own and manage an online support group on msn - RSD Support from Ones Who Care. Established for victims of RSD/CRPS and other Chronic Pain syndromes. It is bad enough having to live in pain let alone being disbelieved and/or shuffled off to the institution for being "not right in the mind". It is not easy to deal with the RSD/CRPS. It takes someone strong to live with the constant burning pain that plagues the body. There's days when I would lke to give up but I cannot and will not allow it to win. I will not allow someone who is alone and suffering, looking for a friend to endure what I had to, not knowing a thing about this burning monster that ravages every fiber of our beings. Early and appropriate treatment is the best course of action to possible remission and lessened long term affects and spreading of RSD/CRPS. I rally as loudly as I can with countless letter writing campaigns, telephone campaigns and hopefully "Race for the Cure" walks in the future as my health will allow. I hope to attend my children's high school graduations from my home, not a nursing home. If I give up then what example do I set for all those who follow behind me. Godspeed on your road to survival and hope for a cure! Bless your every endeavor! With love, Summer [size=4][/size] |
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