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08/17/2011 06:40 PM

my penectomy

sneaky01
Posts: 14
New Member

i had a total penectomy and i do wish i had a stump . i ended having a total penectomy but a nurse helped me saying it looks good , i wear a prosthitic some days but my girl friend prefers my smooth look often summer i go around home and swim naked .
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10/12/2011 01:55 PM
Darrell123
Posts: 30
Member

I've recently been diagnosed with penile cancer. I'm scheduled to undergo a total penectomy on Monday October October 17th. It's hard for me to believe that my wife or anyone will like how I will look there post op. I was kinda surprised reading your post.

Does anyone else have thoughts of how life will be post op? Any information or shared experiences will help. I'm surprised how little information there is on this. It may be a rare cancer, but it stops being rare when you have it.

Feeling Frustrated.... And scared,

D.


10/13/2011 06:09 PM
nsblue
nsblue  
Posts: 58
Member

Hi Darrell123,

I can only imagine how frustrated and scared you are.

Saying that your life will never be the same is basically what it all boils down to. Not only physically but as well as emotionally for both you and your partner. Keeping the lines of communication open between the two of you I feel is very important, there will be some rough times but with support and someone by your side, you will both come through this stronger.

There will be many steps after the penectomy in which you will go through, I imagine it will feel much like a roller coaster ride. Keep focused on getting through it step by step... doing everything you can to keep healthy and healed and you will come through this.

Dealing with your new "looks" will take time. How you function is another. The change is alot from what you once knew. Acceptance and moving forward can be difficult but you can adapt and live a new normal life. Learning to urinate sitting down.... orgasms and ejaculating will be another. Many changes to deal with, not to mention the progressive staging and waiting on pathology and perhaps subsequent surgery after pending pathology.

Stay strong Darrell, beat this dreaded disease, holler if you have any questions... It is a cancer not many talk of but we who have been touched by it know that the silence doesn't help.


10/16/2011 07:57 PM
mounteast
Posts: 4
New Member

Darrell123, I hope all goes well with your surgery tomorrow. I wish you a speedy recovery.

10/16/2011 11:34 PM
Darrell123
Posts: 30
Member

Thank you both for reaching out to me and encouraging me. I'm having a hard time sleeping tonight. I look down there and know that in approximately 8 hours my penis will be cut off..... I know the doctors use the word amputated, but what it boils down to is that it will be cut off. From what I understand a total penectomy will mean they will take it all right? I mean, after the surgery, after I heal will there be a stump left there? I've seen picture of some men who have a stump, but they say they had a partial penectomy. I guess I just want to know, will there be any part of my penis left after this?

Another question I have is, is there any point to having a new penis made? To me that seems like it would be foreign. Like it wouldn't belong. For those of you who have had this, did you decide to just live without a penis? And to any women who are part of this forum, or who have had a husband or boyfriend who had this happen to them. Would you have preferred them to have it replaced somehow? Or do you like it better with just no penis there anymore? My wife is very curious about how other wives or girlfriends dealt with it. Whether they liked it better without, or wanted their husbands to get a prosthetic, if there even is such a thing???


10/17/2011 02:10 AM
sirocco97
Posts: 35
New Member

mate .looking at the date ,and the fact its the 17th in australia today .means if you are probably going to surgery tomorrow in the northen hemisphere.i wish you all the best.i had what they called a partial penectomy,glansectomy ,and a glans reconstruction.the upshot is i have about 2 inches erect,but mate ,and i mean this ,its better than being dead,and thats where you were heading ,penile cancer doesnt play games.if you survive .its all good,and im sure your wife loves you as mine does ,and will stand by you .,if you need to talk about anything pm me

10/17/2011 02:32 AM
nsblue
nsblue  
Posts: 58
Member

My husband at the time the decision was made for a total penectomy there was no time basically to really think. A span of 24 hours occurred from diagnosis to penectomy. More due to his severity than anything. His story is at http://penile-cancer.ca

Like any major change there is an assimulation time, grieving etc to work through. We often wonder how in the world do I/we get through this? We found we had to look for the good where ever we could find it...and focus on that to get us through. positive vibes are what will keep your mind occupied and centered.

Here is a picture of my husband's radial penectomy (total penectomy) 8 days post op if it helps.....

radial

About a month and a half later, my husband noticed when upon waking he had a hardness come and go similar to an erection. We assume that there must have been some residual left of the erectile tissue.

He then wanted me to buy a strap on at an adult store in town of which we did. I feel he wanted it more for me, but it very well may have been a bit for him too. I must say though it soon was pushed aside and we made our own way to make love where we BOTH orgasmed. Understand it takes time to assimulate... I loved my husband, with or without a penis that remained and we found new ways to show it and became stronger for it.

Good health is the MOST important thing ever. Cancer can be a fight. Do what you can to fight it, keeping positive to get through it.


10/17/2011 10:15 AM
Darrell123
Posts: 30
Member

hello.... my name is Lisa. I'm Darell's wife. I am so thankful this sight exists to help Darrell and other men going through this difficult kind of cancer. I honestly didn't even know men could get cancer in this part of their body. I just want Darrell to be ok, cancer free! I told him nothing else matters. nsblue, you are so brave. Thank you for being wiling to show us a picture of your husband and how he looks there now. It seemed to help Darrell prepare for what he will probably look like once he is healed.

Sometimes he makes jokes about it. Saying I can choose the kind of strap on I want now. I try to laugh a long with him, because the humor seems to do him good. But how can I get him to understand that a penis just doesn't mean much to a girl. At least it doesn't to me. We've already had all he children we intend to have. And honestly, I prefer the other ways my husband and I can be intimate as opposed to simple penetrative sex. The counselor told us that some couples actually get closer once the penis is gone. Is this something you have found to be true?

My first priority is to get Darrell well, that's all I'm concerned with. After he's healed, I'm actually looking forward to exploring love and sexuality in a new way. Is it wrong for me to have feelings of excitement, to know that his penis is gone, and that sex will no longer be such a quick act? I'd love to hear any advice from all of you here. Ladies, how did you deal with it? Once you got over him beating this dreadful disease, did you find your intimate life to be better now that his penis was gone? And gentlemen, how did you feel once you accepted it was gone? Did you finally accept it? Were you able to get past that and look at your relationship with your wife or gf in a new light?

(p.s. I apologize if I'm writing comments that should be in a more private area. Darrell showed me this site and talked about how much it helped him. He told me I should ask questions of my own and to feel free to ask what's on my mind. So here I am..... I haven't created a profile for myself yet. With his surgery being today, I just wanted to reach out, with anyone who would talk to me. Thanks for listening to me blab on. I guess that shows how much of a wreck I am. I'm in uncharted waters. And I just want to be the best wife to my husband in his time of need that I can be. Please help.

Sincerely,

Lisa


10/17/2011 12:19 PM
sneaky01
Posts: 14
New Member

hello lisa, understand after the penis has been removed it does take some time to adjust, the area heals well and quickly. theres a cathiter that will be in for a week or more it takes a while it get used to peeing through new hole mine is between my legs now. if the whole of the penis is removed theres no stump iam smooth , i found on the internet some very well made prosthitics . iam in new zealand found it hard get a prosthitic in end got one from usa looks real . please feel free any time ask questions . rowan . rssimpson@slingshot.co.nz

10/17/2011 05:27 PM
mounteast
Posts: 4
New Member

Lisa, how did your husband's surgery go? How is he doing?
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