Parents of Bipolar Children Support Group

Hello I am new here! I write this for a few reasons. 1) I need to vent this out loud to someone. 2) I hope that others may have some insight or words of encouragement 3) To connect with others that may be going through the same hell

We are awaiting an appointment for my 4 year old son. Our family is full of mental health issues on both sides and now our son seems to be "joining the ranks"

G has always been an intense personality since day one. Even as an infant he just seemed to take up the entire room. He always felt things more extremely and intensely than others. He has always been my shadow and I have never really gotten much of a break from him. We never felt comfortable enough to have many people babysit for fear that he may get hurt due to the frustration he could cause.

He is a bright child with a great vocabulary and a vivid imagination. He also loves music and is obsessed with bands like a teenager (Michael Jackson is the flavor of the month) His memory of events are sharp and surprising but his short term memory is barely there.

We noticed our sons intensity as well as some obscure obsessions were becoming more and more apparent. Now it is a battle to get out of the house as we have to perform numerous tasks/rituals to get out of the house. If we do not do these tasks G has a complete meltdown.

Meltdowns also often occur with the word "no". We never know when the rage will happen and we live a frazzled existence waiting for the next outburst. We now are exhausted from his periodic night terrors and every night have to wake him up to keep him from wetting the bed. We also cringe at his stories of gory nightmares and his pictures/references to bleeding, "being broke into pieces" or fire.

Socially he is suffering as well. We had to pull him from preschool because he could not transition with activities and was sent home for kicking, hitting and screaming. The director told me that she has had a lot of behavior problems walk through their doors but has seen like his anger. The anger she said was so irrational. She said he had been Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. We knew exactly what she ws talking about but until now G has only shown that side to us at home. With kids at the playground and friends in the neighborhood his moodiness is causing him to be left out or made fun of.

We know the moods are becoming more erratic and exacerbated by the fact that we had a baby four months ago. He has even told us he is hearing sounds in his ears. He also is complaining of headaches and has gotten hurt so many times in the past few months from his hyper and impulsive movements. He has jumped of the top of 5 stairs, playground equipment, and gotten into a serious argument with me over him wanting to drive out car. After the angry rages we have intense sadness and remorse. He says he is a bad kid. Says he doesn't know why he is is feeling so angry, then feeling so sad. My heart breaks everyday.

We feel like we are living a strange nightmare. Our house is in shambles (he darts from to activity to activity like a whirlwind with no rhyme or reason) Our pets are tormented and we are exhausted. We can handle our high energy boy but not the high energy angry boy.

If you have read this far God bless you. We have an evaluation set up through the school district as well as through a developmental/behaviorist pediatrician. We have begun a therapist in the mean time to hopefully at least give him another outlet.

I hate sitting here waiting and not knowing what to do in the mean time. We are barely hanging in there and can't really explain to family and friends what is going on.

I can't offer much except to tell you this is a good safe place to vent. We have all been in similar situations.

Keep focusing on the good things about your son because the other things are going to wear you down. He needs to hear the good things about himself too because as he goes thru school he will become more aware that he is "different" than other kids.

Hang in there!

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. My daughter was not diagnosed with BP until she was 22, but even then, as a parent it is hard to see your child struggle with something like this.

The most important thing is that he knows you love him and as Lilipets said, that he hears positive things about himself, not just the negative things.

Hi, I know it is hard to wait but it sounds like you have been struggling for awhile....just think a little longer and help is coming. Try to be patient and think that soon you will get help for your son. If he is diagnosed with a disorder and put on medicine you will need tons more patience. Sometimes you will have to change medicine a few times to find the right one for him.....BUT....you have taken the first steps in the right direction. It will get better. We all on this board understand and are here to share our stories,vent, listen, and talk to others who understand. Welcome.

Laura

Try to think of this journey like the tide. It, too, will have ups and downs, highs and lows. The tide always comes in, but it returns to the sea. BP is no different. Help is on the way. Once the medicine kicks in you will start to see less of the "angry" child and more of the little one that stole your heart to begin with. It's frustrating, I know. But please remember that the hell you feel now WILL pass. Of that, I'm sure.

I feel your pain, hurt, frustration, everything. Reading that was a day in my world. I to have a 4yold that you just decribed to a T. I know that frustration, but don't give up. I have been working for 2yrs to get Landon help. It has final paid off, final seen a doctor that really understood what I was saying. Now, it's just a new battle, we are doing all kinds of test before he can start the meds. Next week we go for the last test, EEG. They have to make sure that he is not having seziors. Please know that this is a great site to vent everyting out. Hang in there, I know it is hard, but there will be light again.

I felt like I was reading about my son there. he started raging at 4... Bad raging, I was scared to leave him with other people. Surprisingly he does quite well in school (behaviorally) but at home he is a nightmare, most of the time. He has a great memory for certain things too- like about random facts, yet cannot remember how to spell truck on his spelling test we studied for the night before...

He was always attached at my hip and while he does not like touching much, he wants to be near me as much as possible. He will not sleep in his own bed even.

I can relate to so much you are saying and it's hard to look at a beautiful, intelligent child and see them acting out. I put of an evaluation for 2 years trying to try other things... diet, etc. Nothing worked. So here I am just starting treatment and relieved and terrified all at once.

I've read what you've said. Sounds like we have a lot of parallels in our lives including when I first got my daughter diagnosed, a new baby on the scene, and a family hx of mental illness. The best that I can take from all that has happened is that this helps us to grow as more compassionate parents, to be deeper human beings, to understand nature in all of its complexity.

It was hard because my son's behavior seemed to onset about the time of the birth of my second son. Or maybe me being gone for 3 days to have him just kind of set him into one of his swings, and it was the first really stressful event he'd experienced? I can remember him kicking my c-section incision one day, when he was mad. It was just heart breaking. He was throwing things and I was always calm (at that point) and told him "You need to stop, you could break the sliding glass door, it's glass and someone could get hurt..." He looked at me right in the eyes and said "I WANT A PIECE OF BROKEN GLASS!" It was terrifying to see the transition that would occur in him. Since we started the meds, I have finally gotten hugs again, he is happy to see me. He is doing remarkable. I feel finally like I'm not just failing over and over. I have found too that I have a lot more compassion for him now when he has a swing because I understand where it is coming from. I am just trying to figure out what I can do more to help him process his feelings.

We are on another medication trial for my daughter. We have been trying various meds for a year. Recently, she has started acting out at school. We're now trying her on Depakote. It may take a month to become therapeutic if its helpful. None of the seven meds so far have helped.