If I'm a parent of an adult BP child, is it fair to be the adult child of a BP parent? Okay. That was a self pity rhetorical question. I've been absent from here alot over the last several months. Been taking care of my BP dad who at almost 80 has a host of other health problems that complicate things. Probated my BP then18 year old daughter about two years ago in order to get her stable. She's 20 now and doing fairly well. Im very proud of how far she's come; even though some things are still a work-in-progress. I probated my BP dad yesterday. Unfortunately, I don't think it will be a temporary guardianship like my daughter. He wasn't diagnosed until he was in his mid seventies. Long untreated BP complicated by dementia. I feel horrible. I know it was the right thing to do, but taking away a bright person's freedom no matter what their age just doesn't seem fair, especially when you have to do it with deceipt because they always seem to be one step ahead of you. Last night I talked with my BP daughter about it (now a college psychology major). She couldn't understand why I would feel so bad, particularly when everyone could tell he was just not right and it needed to be done. I explained that even though I intellectually know it was the right thing to do, that doesn't take away the guilt we feel for taking away the freedom of someone we love so much. That doesn't go away. I explained I felt the same way when I did it to her and that guilt just doesn't go away even when it IS the right thing. I can feel both. I think the DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) skills she learned helped her to understand this and by the time we ended our conversation, she understood and could empathize with me and understand my conflicted feelings (at least I hope so).. NONE OF THIS IS FAIR.  "Knowledge is the antidote to fear." - Ralph Waldo Emerson -
I stole this from someone else in one of these forums - but it fits! ;)
I am the mother of a 21 year old BP daughter (whom at the moment, I say is "in remission" with the help of Lithium, biweekly therapy for 4.5 years, and an intensive outpatient course of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT).)
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