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owutatangledweb  Posts: 2761
Senior Member
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"It is what it is". When I first joined this site in 2009, I was struggling so hard to understand this illness. I hung out a lot on the other forums with the folk that have this illness. Early on, one of those people told me "It is what it is". That stuck with me...... For a long time, until I really understood that those simple words had so much more meaning than the seemingly minor words that they were. It means "acceptance". It means " a recognition that we cannot control this". It means that this has a life of its own. It means that we have to go with the flow and just be ready for anything that can happen. It means that we have to find strength that we never knew we had even when we don't know where we're going to find it. It means that when we see a glimmer of who our loved one used to be, we have to hang on to it and have hope....even if we think there isn't any. It means sometimes we have to exercise tough love and if we don't know what that is .... We have to figure out what it is and damn quick sometimes. It means sometimes we have to be the best darn advocate there ever was even when we have no training. It means we have to figure out exactly what unconditional love is. It means sometimes we have to make our help conditional. It means sometimes we have to be more courageous than the cowardly lion and stronger than superman. It means that sometimes no matter what we do, all we can do is pray and give Jesus the wheel. Having said all that, is this what it means to THEM? I think probably it does. They probably have all these same feelings, concerns, fears. They need just as much courage as we do, probably more. I'm proud of your child for figuring this out. I'm proud of my daughter too. She's come a long way. "Knowledge is the antidote to fear." - Ralph Waldo Emerson -
I stole this from someone else in one of these forums - but it fits! ;)
I am the mother of a 21 year old BP daughter (whom at the moment, I say is "in remission" with the help of Lithium, biweekly therapy for 4.5 years, and an intensive outpatient course of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT).)
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