Parents of Bipolar Children Support Group

Hi All,

I just stumbled upon this site and this support group. I am just starting out...just learned in the last year that child is bipolar. I was amazed at the postings in this foum as I read about all of the same type of stories about Bipolar children and your experiences. I do not feel so alone now and it is giving me hope and energy.

My daughter is 18 years old. She is adopted and having some info about her birth-mother, we suspect she is also bipolar. THis is new to us...support groups, mental health issues, frightening circumstances, fear of her hurting herself or others as we are from an extremely small town and although we knew there were issues, they didn't truly come to light until around high school graduation last year (she graduated at 17).

Not knowing the depth and complexities of her illness (not even really having a diagnosis at the time even though her psychologist had used the term "a-typical bipolar," we continued with plans and sent her out of state to college. Disaster followed almost immediately.

Cut to one year later...she lives with her well-meaning boyfriend out-of-state 3 hours away from us. She is here for the weekend and she is worse than we've ever seen. I was able to find a Psychiatrist for her near her apartment and she showed up for the appointment and seems to want to go to her next appointment tomorrow but I believe she's lying about taking the pills he prescribed and is really just going to keep her boyfriend (he is very supportive of her and us and has encouraged her to go but the underlying message is that she needs to work on herself, otherwise he will leave her...I am afraid of the scene that will follow when he breaks up with her).

I live in fear that she will hurt someone when she's angry or kill herself. I would love to send her to a facility to work on things but she would never go voluntarily (as I don't believe she really believes she has a problem). I almost had to call 911 yesterday...she goes back to apartment today but I know she'll call me within a couple of days crying, panicked, angry in the middle of the city.

Next steps? I have no clue...I'll call her Dr. tomorrow but of course he can only listen as she won't give him permission to talk to me.

I am interested to know if others have this experiece of the bipolar person not believing anything is wrong with them (despite the overwhelming evidence on a daily basis) and do they ever turn a corner or hit a "rock-bottom" that convinces them otherwise? Do they ever really believe it?

Thanks for listening/reading...this has given me some relief.

Wishing you Joy and Peace,

Laila

First of all, WELCOME to the forum!

Your post struck a chord with me. I wish I could give you an answer to your question about the "denial" that there is a diagnosis of some sort. But I really can't.

We have a lot in common. My son (17 years old) was adopted by us when he was 3 years old. There was mention of bipolar and depression in his bio family's history. When he hit puberty at around the age of 13 things changed drastically. No, it didn't happen overnight, but from age 12 to the age of 14, he was totally a different kid. He withdrew COMPLETELY from our family of four. Started doing very questionable, risky things that really was not like him at all. I took him to the psychiatrist (I'm making a long story short) and he was diagnosed as Atypical bipolar. I am thinking because he didn't have the typical "high's" but he did have the lows that come with BP. And his impulsivity was there as well.

He was self medicating with weed (I still want to call it pot) and he was snorting prescription drugs. He also had written a suicide note but luckily no follow through. He was coming and going as he pleased, living his own life and not listening to any reason whatsoever.

We ended up sending him (unwillingly) to a "troubled teen" school in Iowa and he is there now. He has been there for about 7 months now. He is doing better now that he is away from drugs and is forced to do well in school (at least to a point). He will be there for a few more months.

I know he did not believe his diagnosis at first. But he was med compliant for a short time. Most of the meds did not work, and there was one that worked well but then he decided he didn't need them anymore.

In reading your post, I see that you do have some "positives" going for you. One, that your daughter will go to the psychiatrist. Maybe she doesn't admit that she believes the diagnosis, but she will at least go to the appointment. Two, that you have the boyfriend on your side. I feel this can be very helpful. These are two good things.

It is so hard to get through to these kids that something is wrong. My feeling about what to say to your daughter, and this is just my opinion, definitely just something to think about...is when and if she calls you crying and panicking like you suspect she will...maybe take that opportunity to say that maybe the psychiatrist's prescription will help you through these tough times. For the sake of those who love you, and the boyfriend, could you please take the pills and give them a try?

I bet you have done that in the past...and I'm not telling you anything new. I don't have any concrete answers for you but I would use the positives that you have going for you and take advantage of them. I'm assuming that the boyfriend is a good influence.

This forum is wonderful for support and getting things off your chest. We don't have all the answers but we definitely can share our experiences. Everybody has different stories but there may be something that gives you hope.

Hang in there.

Welcome to the group

It took my daughter several years to accept what she has she was almost 13 when dignosed and just turned 19 for 6 years we are still trying to find right meds.She does take her meds and just got out hospital not too long ago again I thought first days maybe this is it but NO been horrible past few days wed took her to stay her sister few days first couple days shes seemd ok past 2 days was horrid.

Bipolar is rollercoaster day by day min by min.

At least she is going to Dr and once she learns what she has and accepts it may help some.

I just want to add my "hello and welcome!"

I have to warn you about a "troll" who has been posting some rude comments and diatribes. She gets banned eventually but she just keeps coming back with a new name.

So just ignore any posts that seem rude.

welcome to the group. My son is 24 and is in denial about his diag. He was med complaint for a short while. He no longer takes his meds. He has been self medicating with street drugs for yrs now.He has had ups and downs but I really don't think he's hit bottom yet. I'm just holding my breath. I think you'll find alot of peace of mind as I have on this site. It's been a life saver for me. Welcome *HUGS*

Post edited by: jjsmom, at: 06/24/2012 10:32 AM

Laila, reading your post is almost like looking in a mirror. My son was totally noncompliant on his meds for a short time....lied to his psychologist and psychiatrist about taking them until I went into his room and counted his pills. He hated my husband and I so much, and was so certain EVERYTHING that was going wrong in his life was our fault that after an argument at home, he stormed out of the house. He left on February 1 in Michigan, wearing shorts, t-shirt, and no shoes. We thought he was just going to sit outside for a few minutes to cool off. When we went out to look for him, he had vanished. My younger son and I searched the 40 acres of trees behind our house while my husband searched every roadway he could. The county sheriff's deputy eventually called the house to inform us that he had picked up our boy and was taking him to the hospital. We had to admit him into the behavioral services portion of the hospital because he had walked nearly 9 miles, barefoot, in 36 degree weather at 10:00 at night. Needless to say, frostbite on the feet and absolute CRAZY talk forced us to this decision. Putting him in the hospital tore my heart into a million pieces, but honestly, the week he was in there was almost a relief. I knew he was getting constant care, and it was nice to not have to worry about coming home from work only to find he had done something stupid. He graduated at 17 as well, and things all fell apart at college. He also refuses to allow his psychologist to tell my husband or I anything, and so we found a counselor that worked in the same office as his psychologist. Our counselor and my son's psychologist compare notes, develop treatment plans, and we are able to indirectly get some information that way. Our son sincerely didn't believe anything was wrong with him, he thought that everyone around him was overreacting and stupid (part of the narcissism and invincible bipolar symptoms) until about two weeks ago. I think it was the right combination of meds (his psychiatrist is a little nutty, but very efficient when it comes to prescribing medication) and a consistent environment at home where my husband and I continued to deliver the same love, support, and encouragement, regardless of how angry he was...and he could get very angry. There never really was a rock bottom...our son kind of drug us along the rocks for quite awhile before we started to see any improvements. But those improvements were like turning on a light switch. It's like my boy is back again, and I have to just smile and hug him at the smallest things! I heard him laugh out loud last week for the first time in nearly a year, and it was even more heart-warming than watching his first steps. I can't say that we are out of the woods yet...but I'm certainly going to enjoy the positives while they are here. Hugs to you. I know EXACTLY where you are, and please do not HESITATE to ask as many questions as you can think of... ~Beverly

Oh my gosh...I don't know what to say. I have never posted to a forum like this before and I forgot I had written that post...sort of felt like I was sending out a message in a bottle. I just saw an e-mail from Roy from MDJunction and almost deleted it but remembered that the name was familiar.

I can't thank you all enough for responding to my post, my cry for help, my secret message in a bottle. I am very touched by your support and willingness to share your experiences and lives.

I am overwhelmed with this response...I feel grateful and relieved. Your posts were a gift to me this evening as I struggle with yet another episode (and I am feeling guilty because I was tired and didn't handle it very maturely). Please know that your time and your words were very meaningful to me and I'm starting to feel connected when all along I thought we were alone.

Joy to all of you and please know I am taking the recommendation to accentuate the positives. I can do that...I'm going to mindfully practice doing that this week.

Love and Joy,

Laila

Hope tonight gets better for you it must be in the air this weekend LOL

Yes, I think there is something in the air! Heat and humidity!

Thank you for your earlier reply...I frequently refer to this as a "rollercoaster" when I try to explain to others (I don't bother trying to explain too much anymore because people who haven't experienced this rollercoaster have no idea what I'm talking about). Now I have found all of you who know exactly what my rollercoaster ride is like.

Wishing you a peaceful night.

Laila

Hi Kim,

Thank you for the great idea. Seems so obvious but I coouldn't see it in front of my nose...I am going to tell her she has to sign the info release in order to get our help with her rent this month (she is broke again because she was fired again after a week). I also see you mentioned a driver's license. My girl went through the driver's training but we had to go with her to practice and she just gets too angry and frustrated to drive, swearing and yanking the wheel...in addition to having a natural tendency to speed up when making turns...she can't make the connection to slow down in a turn because she's concentrating on getting to the spot she wants to be). Just getting in the car with us makes her too angry to drive (and of course she never knows where she is, which town she's in etc.,) so I could relate to being afraid of the driving. Right now she lives in a city so she doesn't need to drive but I know it's just a metter of time before she starts again to want to get her license.

Thanks Again!

L