Parents of Bipolar Children Support Group

Dear AmygirlBP

There are many people with BP taking meds who would vehemently disagree with you on several counts. My grandson and daughter both take meds for BP1. They are both highly creative and were able to focus more with meds. I could point to many people in the entertainment field where this has been the case. All of these people were in trouble with drugs, alcohol and the law prior to taking meds, but afterwards were able to pursue their dreams. Further there are some tests that can indicate possible BP-one of these is a cortisol evaluation. Meeting BP guidelines for treatment is very stringent. Have you thoroughly read the diagnostic codes? Children and adults are not readily diagnosed with BP. In order to be treated the psychiatrist must have observable proof of some sort that meet these guidelines. Ask anyone who has applied for SSI because they are not able to function well enough to work or attend school.

By the way I understand this is a site for those parents who have bipolar children. If you do not have a child perhaps you should be on a site for those who have been given a BP diagnosis. I do not think this is a black or white issue. There are many shades of gray. I am sure there are others who feel as you do. It seems a BP site or some purely holistic site would be best for you. I find your ideas about meds some what disturbing as so many parents are already in turmoil and their children are suffering because of reluctance to treat. I am sorry if this sounds harsh. However, I have a true concern about you and your need to address parents who love and desperately help their children.

I know several people who have a diagnosis and feel as you do. Their lives have been negatively affected and they have been able to use little of their potential. There is no parent on this site who wants their child to take meds. Most are resistant and try every other means until the suffering of their child becomes the issue. I know many of us also believe in more organic natural cures as the first order of finding help. My grandson and daughter with BP1 and taking meds live a full productive and happy life. They are totally med compliant. My grandson is a creative happy 19 year old who when I discussed your postings felt sad about this in remembering he once felt the same and how much his life was filled with anger, lack of sleep and depression before taking meds.

I want to end this by stating that no one here is trying to convince you to take meds. I feel worried about your need to keep writing on this site.I hope you can find some peace and find a site that will emotionally support you.

Post edited by: Marlynn, at: 04/18/2012 12:41 PM

To say you are the "bipolar defender" is a ridiculous comment. I am not trying to be harsh.. but it really is, as I have not read anything here that attacks our loved ones.. just the illness. You have given us a picture of yourself which shows medication that you are (were) on not helping. Part of the frustration of this illness is still the lack of understanding of the human brain, and the trial and error of mixture which will help. If you fracture a bone, an xray is obtained and treatment given. I hope you continue to seek treatment, which is a mix of therapy and meds. Just because my daughter is in denial and will not get help, does not mean that there are not people who admit to illness and get the right combo of meds to live a healthy productive life. by the way, I did not referr to help as just medication. She was fortunate enough to see phychiatrists, phycologists, counselors ect.. and instead of using the seesions to "figure out" why every her life was the way it was (failed relationships with employers, landlords, friends, teachers ect..) she spent the time blaming me for her life. Sooo ok, we all have parent issues, but this included stating she was physically and emotionally abused as a child... which by the way... was certainly not so. Many of us on this site deal with the arguments of bipolar adult children in denial. These "experts" are refusing help, legally, and we are watching it happen (sadly).

Amygirl, my 16 year old daughter was hospitalized 2x. Once after an attempt at her own life. She was put on serequel. Hated the effects, and after about a month, took herslef off it. We tried to live without the meds and go to therapy and everything we could think of. 7 months later, after she attacked me, she finally agreed that her behavior is not how she wanted to live. She voluntarily went to the hospital and is on Lithium. She has been on it since Christmas and is really doing well. She knows the postive side of being on meds. She knows what drama her behavior without meds caused. I am lucky and thank GOD that she realizes the benefits of the med. We know that lithium will eventually damage her thyroid-we will deal with that when it comes and go on a thyorid hormone. The other day me and my daughter had a conversation about meds. She thanksfully said she will never stop taking them. She alos values the importance of vitamins and being on birth control to control hormones. So, I understand your stance and your experience. Every child is different. Keep trying until you find the right meds the work for you and give you the quality of life that you deserve.

Amygrl

I would like to point out something no one has commented on. Bipolar medications would have a completely different effect on non bipolar individuals as it does on a bipolar individuals. So if we take the medication it wouldn't be the same for us.

I have heard the same things from my daughter that you have said. Unfortuantly you can't have it both ways. Bipolar individuals can be very verbally harsh and act out even as adults. So my daughter isn't allowed to be around her family now. We are all in great pain over that, but that was her choice for not adjusting her meds.

After 4 years I chose NOT to be screamed at, not to feel anxiety when I see her and not to fear the next phone call. I have written her biofather name, address and phone number down on a piece a paper in case something happens to her, because I believe it's his turn.

So yes Amy YOU can do what you want BUT your family deserves not to have your drama in there lives because you don't want to equalize your emotions.

But as long as you can hold down a job, stay in school, stay off street drugs, stay out of jail and not verbally abuse your love ones I would agree you have that right to NOT medicate. You have the right by law not to medicate, but the position you place your family in when you are unstable is not fair to them.

I miss my daughter but I don't miss the drama..

same IP address, I would assume.

Stopped reading when I saw "Inspired by visionary humanitarian L. Ron Hubbard." The Church of Scientology's views are not mine.

My daughters Dr told us IF side effects are bad we keep trying until we find stuff that works and has little or no side effects she too didnt take stuff because how it made her feel alot times shes been in hospital until shes used to it then could function.We are still trying to find stuff that works luckily she doesnt deny needing it now and shes trying her Drs are trying and I pray someday soon something helps.She tells me all the time I dont know what its like to not feel normal then the meds to make you normal makes you feel worse and I totaly understand it and shes now 19 knows she has to have meds to semi function in society she sees what happens without them actualy she was on meds that wasnt working

Alexie,

Could that feeling be why shes started cutting again?She does it to feel something she says?

Lisa

Hmmm...you know, I read the quote above and it sort of struck me. Mental illnesses, for the most part, have been linked to fluctuations of the chemicals in the brain that aid the synaptics in firing. I like to explain it to people who don't understand it as similar to diabetes in many respects. With any person, you give them an insulin shot...a regular person, and you're going to shoot their insulin through the roof. But, when you put it in a person who's insulin is too low...while it may not do as much as it did to the first person, it gets the second person to the point where he/she is comfortable. The problem with the chemicals in the brain is that you can't do a simple blood test to figure out how much of one medication you need. So, as my doctor told me point blank, "It's a trial and error thing" That stinks! I'm missing 7 years of my life to prove it! But...I can function and I can get dressed and I can go to the bathroom, and I can live again!! And I will be happy to tell you, I take around 5 medications for my bipolar alone, and I take 3 medications for the side effects, but they were side effects that I can live with. And two other medications may be due to my medications....or they could have something to do with my physical health instead. Either way, I've been alive and able to BE a mommy to my girls again. I'll take the chance of side effects or a few years off the end years of my life any day. Otherwise, I'll spend the rest of it sitting on that bed doing nothing and being terrified of anyone talking to me. I made my choice. My daughters are making theirs.

Yes, I hate taking the blasted pills. So does my daughter. She hates it, but when reminded how she was when she didn't take thee pills, she will go take them. Or, when I show her my handful and offer to jokingly trade, she takes hers and inches back into her room being silly.

kk...gonna run!

Hugz,

Zin

My nephew refuses his meds for his Bipolar disorder but will take drugs off the street. He has overdosed 3 times & has survived. He is very unhappy & is always looking to supress it but will not take the drugs a dr prescribes. When hes on them he realizes he needs them & is so much better, But off them hes a danger to himself & others by his rage. He lies, steals, drinks, & drugs. He has tried more than 1 medication. He refuses therapy. I know we will bury this child one day. He takes such chances. He fails school, wont get a job. His family is afraid of him but feel errible for him at the same time. Life has been a night mare