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01/30/2012 03:48 PM

Struggled for months to get son tested!

rocketorange
 
Posts: 2
New Member

Hello all,

I am new to this support group. My almost 6 year son was hospitalized on a 51/50 after we struggled with our Medical insurance for months that parenting classes and a appt for him every 4-6 weeks was helping. I found a an outside therapist we pay privately for our son to see once a week. We were at a appointment when she said he needs to be hospitalized. He had almost poked his brothers eye out 2 days before and I have received several fat lips, bloody noses and a black eye. It was the hardest thing for me to do and watch as my son was taken from the ER to a clinic. He is in kindergarden and had been suspended several times. Luckily a friend of our is a child advocate and our therapist had suggested us to as for an IEP (individual education plan). Which I asked for before he was hospitalized. Since that I have learned a great deal regarding what the School/District does not offer and hope parents don't know their child/children's rights to a education. As he was about to be thrown out of his school.

My son now has a aide for school but does not attend the whole day. He spends more time in the office with his aide than in the class room. Which I have ask for another IEP meeting to have him attend the whole day of kindergarden. My son does not have play dates very often. He says he has no friends and everyone hates him. As a mother that breaks my heart. With him finally getting on medication for bipolar it has helped with his violent out burst but they still occur.

This is the part where I feel like a horrible mother! There are times that I am at the point that I don't want to be his mom and about 3 seconds later I feel so bad for even thinking that. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I can't go do any errands with him unless he gets to have something purchased for him. I decided not to go out and started resenting my son. I feel that his older brother misses out on he's needs as his brother needs so much attention. Am I a horrible mother for having those feelings? I sure feel that I am!!! Having doctors say yes he's bipolar has been a bit of a weight lifted off. Being able to say my son is not a brat and throwing a tantrum. He has NO control when he is in that rage. Something so little can set him off and something so odd can bring him back. What helps me is I bring out the tickle monster.

I am so glad there are support groups for us parents. We have been looked at, judged and left out of events for parents not having awareness of what a bipolar child is like 24/7. I am hoping to learn from other parents and just share frustrations with parent who actually live with a bipolar child.

Thank you

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01/30/2012 05:36 PM
jjsmom
 
Posts: 443
Member

Welcome.I'm glad your here.I hope you find that this group is great for listening,giving advice and or sharing experinces. For me it has been a life saver. You are not a bad parent.I'm sure your doing everything you can to help your son.We love our chilren so much,but it's ok not to like them sometime.I've been there so many times.Thats another thing know one here is judgemental about what we need to say at any time.It feels good to be able to say what we think,feel or just get it off our chest.Hang in there.*HUGS*

01/30/2012 05:50 PM
carolinecc
carolinecc  
Posts: 235
Member

Hi there and welcome,

You are not a bad mom! I feel the same way soemtimes(a lot of times)..I know precisely how you feel, and thank God for MD Junction. It helps to talk to other parents struggling like we are. My daughter has been in a mental hospital for 3 months and comes home tomorrow. I am scared, but anxious and happy..I know how you feel about being able to at least have a name for waht bothers your son. My daughter used to be labeled"bad" too but her doctor told me my daughter was a very sweet girl, and that made my day!We are here for you and I will watch for your posts . CC (big hugsss to ya! ) Smile


01/31/2012 05:51 PM
theMom
Posts: 7
Member

Keep using the TEAM/IEP process to get what you need for your child. By law, the public school has to provide an appropriate and least restrictive education for your child. If he is spending more time in the office, rather than the classroom, that is NOT an appropriate placement for him. I would ask for them to develop a checklist to reward him at intervals (30 minutes to an hour) for good behavior, and to have the teacher/office staff sign it. This will give you a paper trail to prove how much time he was actually receiving academic instruction versus being babysat in the office. I have been an educator for a long time and your story is not unusual. Did you get a book with your parental rights? You have to sign for it. (It's the law that you receive it BTW) Educate yourself. Always attend IEP meetings, follow through on what the school recommends that you do, and keep all doctor's appointments. Create a binder and keep all paper work related to his medical and educational issues. IF necessary, if they can't provide a proper placement, they will have to pay for him to attend a private facility. Start looking for a lawyer/advocate in your area. They will know the laws in your state. Good luck!

You're not a bad parent; people make you feel that way when they themselves don't know what to tell you to do. Don't be intimidated, be educated!


01/31/2012 06:03 PM
rocketorange
 
Posts: 2
New Member

Thank you for the information!!! We have a advocate as well as myself! I appreciate all the advice!!!!!!!!! We live in the nice area of town and lots of the moms don't work and have their clicks which I had no idea would be the case as a parent. I have never cared what people have said about me by their judgment. I am a single mom who is covered with tattoos, look a lot younger than I am and don't pretend to be someone I am not to fit in. I do care what someone says about my son. I am very grateful for his teacher who was trying to get SST testing started but, her hands were tied by the District Heads. Once my son has been immersed into a regular stable school day I plan on volunteering my time with Spanish speaking families in need of help or anyone that doesn't know their children's rights!

Once again thank you for responding to my post!

Smile


02/01/2012 07:07 PM
theMom
Posts: 7
Member

You are quite welcome.

Her hands should not be tied by anyone. That's the law! (IDEA is the name of the law..I think it was enacted in 2003 or 2004)


02/02/2012 05:21 AM
lillipets
Posts: 1495
Group Leader

hey "theMom" - Your advice is absolute perfection!

I am going to bookmark this because it is the concise answer needed for all parents with school age kids!


02/10/2012 09:07 PM
owutatangledweb
owutatangledwebPosts: 2771
Senior Member


02/12/2012 08:10 PM
jbsmom
jbsmom  
Posts: 1291
Senior Member

Hi rocketorange...welcome to the forum! Sorry you have to be here in the first place. Hopefully the experiences we pass on to each other help all of us to learn more. As Owut always says: "Knowledge is power"...
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