Parents of Bipolar Children Support Group

I always knew there was something different about my daughter, it started at about age 8, she is now 32. I have literally been through hell and back with her, helping her deal with this disorder. She receintly got professional help and has been diagnosed with Manic BiPolar Disorder and Personality Disorder. She has been in Therpy for about a month now, and she seems to be getting better with the help of meds. She still hurts me with her words and actions, like I am the devil himself and I have always been her bigest supporter. I can't begin to tell you how many sticky situations I have gotten her out of, which she never takes responsibility for, she always blames someone else. I have gotten past all that, but of recent she has started blaming me again for the way she is, she makes these comments to my employees too(which she is one of my employees), she deletes me from facebook, but has MY friends on her page where she spills her guts about everything. I am so hurt, yet once again, but this time the hurt seems to have gone deeper. I love my daughter and would do anything for her, but how much can one person take??? If she wasn't my daughter, I would want to have nothing to do with her, the liar and drama queen that she is. I feel like I'm inbetween a rock and a hard place, I just wish I can tell her to leave me along and never talk to me again, but I know that wouldn't work. If I firer her, she loses income to suport herself and my 15 yr old grandson, then she would have no other place to live then with me (god forbid). I am so drained and tired, so hurt and just want to cry, but I as always must be the strong one that holds it all together.

you are in a bad place. you not only have responsibility for your dtr, but

sounds like you are also taking care of your grandchild.

i truly hope that the meds and the therapy work.

she is 32. now is the time for her to start taking responsibility for her

own illness. bp can not be cured, but it can be treated, with the right

pdoc and meds. you will have to stop enabling her. if she doesn't have

to face the consequences to her actions, her actions will not stop.

i don't mean to sound harsh, just stating the facts, as i know them.

i will keep you in my prayers,

God bless

joyce

Chaco, welcome to MDJunction! I'm sorry you are going through this. I have to agree that at a certain point you have to decide what is enabling your daughter and what is not. Then you have to make the decision of whether or not to continue to enable that behavior. Some of us had to do that much earlier and some later (in your case, maybe with a 32 year old). My daughter will be 20 next week; diagnosed at 16; and I had to draw the line the dreaded day she turned 18. She made some awful choices that I could not do anything about. But I was there to pick up the pieces when she came crashing down; and I was armed with a new set of rules and boundaries for my home and the health of the others in it. Most of the words you wrote, I could have written, or HAVE written somewhere on here over the past two years!

You are not alone. I'm glad you found us and I hope to get to know you.

Thank you Joyce, I'm trying, any advise you can give me is truely appreciated.

If Clearthinker were here I know what she would do! She would tell you to "lay down the law" to your daughter. If she doesn't follow the rules she is out on her own. Employees are fired based on inappropriate comments on Facebook even if they aren't related to the boss! I understand your concern about your grandson, and maybe he could keep living with you as long as he follows the rules of the house.

Since she is finally getting some care that seems to be helping you may want to set a time limit on how long you are willing to let things slide. But you can't be expected to put up with this from an adult child!

Let me tell you where I am now.......I so very much feel your pain. My daughter was officially diagnosed with Borderline, bipolar and antisocial personality disorder while she was living in another state, after graduating from college. She was hospitalized due to this and committed as well. I flew out to be with her and sat in the court room listening to all the horrific things she went through. She had been homeless and said she would rather be than come back to her home! She accused me of emotional and physical abuse as a child(all untrue)As a child she had trouble with friends, teachers and any form of authority... everything was always someone elses fault!!! We have always been there for her while she put us all through hell, including getting calls from her after she was arrested and in jail!!! No matter what I do, she accuses me of not loving her and favoring our son. I have developed an eating disorder from worry about her... Anyhow to the point. We traveled to get her and bring her home, only to learn she used us just so she did not have to go to a group home. She lived with us and accused me of cheating on her father(while I was at the animal shelter), got terribly nasty with me, ecttt. she called the police when I removed her puppy pads from the house(new dog and I wanted her to go potty outside). That was the last straw. I told her she needed to go, and lo and behold she is now living with my parents... making their lives miserable. I spoke to a crisis hotline counselor who opened my eyes!!! He said that even though she is sick, she is responsible for her behavior and we are making things too easy.. I am soooo done with her behavior and the way she speaks to me. I am her mother, and when she aplolgises and treats me with repect, then I will want to have a relationship. We need to make these people more responsible!!!

Welcome....

Just read my profile. My daughter once worked for us...Disaster

My daughter is now off her meds (by choice) and recently emailed me

that she thinks I slept with her creepy exBF...

Delusional completely.

My younger kids is what is saving me. Her behavior is just unaceptable around them.

I feel the same way...She would never be my friend or in my company if it had not been by birth.

Everyone has been so helpful, thank you all.