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01/20/2011 06:07 AM

My daughter had a tragedy at her school yesterday

jenn123
jenn123  
Posts: 1264
Senior Member

Yesterday a 3rd grader at my daughters school was hit and killed by an SUV while riding his bike to school. They called me to pick my daughter up by 10:30 am because they didnt think that she'd be able to handle all of the events going on around her due to her emotional issues. I have to bring her back today and i hope the school is prepared with counselors on hand to help not only her but all the the children get thru this. He was the little brother of one of her classmates and she went to leave flowers at the site last night only to find the sister layed out across all of the stuffed animals that had been left for him and she was crying. If anybody has any suggestion on how to help her deal w/this as well as how to keep her in school please let me know. Thanks
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01/20/2011 09:05 AM
jbsmom
jbsmom  
Posts: 1291
Senior Member

That is soooo sad! I can't imagine what the kids think.

Hopefully the counselors at the school can help you. If not, maybe your therapist? I would think talking to her about it would help...but not sure.

Good luck.


01/20/2011 09:12 AM
lillipets
Posts: 1528
Group Leader

I'm so sorry to hear this. What an awful situation for everyone.

01/20/2011 09:35 AM
mommyto9
 
Posts: 165
Member

Oh goodness, how horribly sad. I agree with jbsmom, get her to her therapist...and talk talk talk...prayers

01/20/2011 09:43 AM
clearthinker
clearthinker  
Posts: 1043
Senior Member

I'm terribly sorry to read this. I hope they have counselors at the school to help the children with this. When my son died at age 13 in Jr. high there were many counselors on hand for the kids. I asked the parents to get private counseling because I know how hard this is for children and parents. My son died 16 years ago this March and when I run into his classmates they always tell me how hard it was and how much they miss him. The children that had counseling seemed to handle this much better. I remember a few parents that were ugly to me because my son's death brought so much pain and grief to their children. My son died when a virus attacked his heart, nobody wanted this especially me but this is what was handed to me and we all have to make the best of a horrible situation.

01/20/2011 01:33 PM
jenn123
jenn123  
Posts: 1264
Senior Member

thanks for the feedback, i did call her therapist and she will see her today afterschool (as of yet ive had no calls to pic her up and i know that they are all greiving together). I was told that there will be counselors on hand today to help all of the kids and maybe she will take comfort with the others..She cried the whole way to school this am and i jst didnt have the words so i jst held her hand, this is rare for us as she usually pushes me away, she didnt hold my hand back but she didnt push it away either, i guess that was good..im so sorry to hear of your pain clearthinker, how aweful that must be for you. Thanks for sharing your story tho.

01/20/2011 05:33 PM
angelagiulian
angelagiulian  
Posts: 31
New Member

Im soo sorry to hear this. I hope everythoing went well with the therepist. MY prayers are with all of yall. And i to am so sorry to hear of your lose and pain clearthinker

01/21/2011 10:20 PM
owutatangledweb
owutatangledwebPosts: 2771
Senior Member

My heart goes out to you Jenn. We lost three students last year, and a student and teacher this year. I had to take my youngest daughter to a therapist this Fall because it was all just too much. When we lost two students last year at the same time, I had to keep my BP daughter home, it would have been too much for her and her school counselor agreed. Do what you feel is right for your daughter if you start to see her struggle. I hope her therapist can help her.

CT, we've talked about your son before. I'm just so sorry to hear how other people treated you. That is just deplorable!


01/22/2011 10:29 AM
gardengirl
gardengirl  
Posts: 1727
Senior Member

I work with high school kids, but I do know that each kid can react to the sudden death of another student in different ways. It also may not appear all at once, but delayed. My daughter usually takes a week to process things like that, so if it were my daughter, I would closely watch her for a while to see any signs of rapid cycling starting up.

It can be hard to deal with kids. We had a suicide at my school a few years ago, and some of the kid's friends were still trying to deal with it a year later. My own daughter (the younger one who is not BP) has lost friends and the anniversaries of their passing are hard for her. I found out that one of students has been being abused at home this past week, so I am looking out for her as well as her friends... so know that your daughter's teachers will be looking out for her and the other children too...


01/23/2011 05:12 PM
jenn123
jenn123  
Posts: 1264
Senior Member

They had a car wash at her school yesterday to raise money for his family and she wanted to go help out. She ended up helping for 3 hours and from what i heard, did very well..that suprised me but i guess maybe it felt good for her to feel that she was helping in some way. I'll keep an eye on her tho because like many of you have said, she could be fine one minute and then out of nowhere go balistic on me but again i appreciate everybodys thoughtful responses.
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