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12/20/2010 08:31 AM

Bipolar Adult Children

clearthinker
clearthinker  
Posts: 998
Senior Member

I have put in a request to start a group for Non-bipolar parents trying to raise an adult bipolar child that is living on their own. There are many different issues and hopefully we can help each other with all the weird stuff that goes on in their lives.

When a bipolar child lives on their own, a lot of us parents have to become detectives and rely on the help of friends to find out what is really going on. I know a lot of this secrete stuff happens while they are living at home but it's really odd when they live on their own and keep their life secrete and you find out the trouble they are causing from other people.

The weird thing is that I was still being told off for not being a good parent while she was living on her own. She is a grown adult! I know I did my very best, I'm not her and she is not me so what she chooses to do is up to her.

I still had many of the same problems with her while she lived by herself. The only nice thing was that I was not walking on egg shells and my home was peaceful and wonderful again. When she started her ugly BS I would say 'It was nice seeing you, good bye'. She now has to take care of things because she is on her own. She does not have time to stay out all night and party because she knows she will be tired the next day and she does not want that.

Real life is what she has now and what she does with it is up to her. There is still a lot of worry that goes with her because of the off and on of her bipolar. Better but room for much more growth.

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12/20/2010 09:48 AM
jbsmom
jbsmom  
Posts: 1291
Senior Member

Okay CT. That is good news but you CAN NOT leave this forum! If they do start that up, you better be here. You have a lot to offer for the rest of us to get through our formative years!

I amm trying not to make this sound like a threat! I mean it with a very sincere heart!


12/20/2010 10:02 AM
mommyto9
 
Posts: 165
Member

We need parents who have been there and done that to help us through! Please don't leave!

12/21/2010 08:06 AM
gardengirl
gardengirl  
Posts: 1727
Senior Member

Is there such a thing as a sub-group? Or are we already a sub-group?

12/21/2010 12:21 PM
clearthinker
clearthinker  
Posts: 998
Senior Member

gardengirl, I think this is a sub group. I wrote to Roy and he said that what I want falls under 'Bipolar in the family' We as parents know that having a bipolar child or adult bipolar child is way different than having a bipolar sibling, aunt, uncle, in law, parent or spouse that is bipolar. In other words he does not think a sub group for parents of adult bipolar children is needed. I also wanted the group to be for NON-Bipolar parents so we can write more freely about our pain of raising a bipolar child. As the bipolar child grows there are many different concerns and worries. I feel a parent that is raising a young bipolar child does not want to read a bunch of posts about the troubles of an adult bipolar child that was living on their own. Most parents that find out that their child is first labeled BP go into a shock or grieving stage. I was hoping that by adding a more specific group it would help us all find better answers without shifting through all the posts. Most parents that are dealing with an out of control bipolar child need quick references and do not have the time or patience to read all the posts. I extend my heart to all that just found out that your child has bipolar. God Bless and protect you on your journey.

12/22/2010 12:48 AM
Terrym
Posts: 77
Member

I am also interested in talking with other parents of Bipolar adult children.

My daughter has seen the same psychiatrist for about 5 years, with individual and group therapy for a few of those years. She's had the same medication and remains stabilized.

But she has struggled to make an independent go at it. Although very intelligent, she cannot finish what she starts, and she survived high

school because I was there to make sure she did.

She flunked out of Junior college, kept one job for two years, but lost two after that for either immature behavior or being tardy.

She now has found cosmetology school a good fit, and I very much hope she follows through.

She was lucky to be raised as a middle class kid, but now she acts both entitled to luxuries and too good to apply to jobs that do not involve

high end retail.

For this reason, we are clashing. Although she worked she did not save a penny though I insisted she was supposed to.

On top of that, she turned a car I bought her into a wrecked mess; I took it away after she had a fender bender one day, and then a few days later

sheared of the side view mirror, which said to me that after 4 years of driving she was no longer safe on the road.

Losing her freedom enraged her, along with our profound disagreements on how she spends her money.

In other words, she is like a 16 year old in the body of someone over 20, soon to be 21.

I believe that I have been enabling her. And the tension between us is intolerable, so that now she went to live with her father, though stores

her numerable possessions at my house.

Anyway, i needed to vent, I think she is spoiled in ways that I have never experienced; at the same time, she was struck with being bipolar and perhaps with severe concentrations problems. Although I was once severely depressed as a teenager, I recovered with medication and therapy very fast. I have never experienced Mania, but understand that

my father, who I do not know, is bipolar.

Currently, we are taking a break from each other; I told her I was no longer going to solve problems for her, but I will pay her tuition. That is it.

Any thoughts?


12/22/2010 12:49 AM
Terrym
Posts: 77
Member

I do not have bipolar, but have a child who is. I would love a group dedicated to dealing with adult bipolar children.

12/22/2010 12:50 PM
OneScaredMom
OneScaredMom  
Posts: 94
Member

Please excuse my confusion, but is this group coming to fruition or was it decided by Roy that a similar group already existed and there wasn't going to be another one?

If it's coming to fruition, are non-bipolar parents whose adult child still lives with them going to be able to join, even though that's not the group's focus?


12/22/2010 01:21 PM
clearthinker
clearthinker  
Posts: 998
Senior Member

OneScaredMom, Roy decided that the sub-group that I wanted would fall under 'Bipolar in the family'. That was the last I heard from him. Bipolar is the family is such a large spectrum that not many people will want to dig through all the posts, that is why I was hoping we could get a section for adult bipolar children being raised by NON-bipolar parents. Many of us that have lived with an out of control bipolar child have questioned our own sanity and many of us thought that maybe it was us that had the bipolar. I know I'm not perfect but I'm certain I don't have bipolar. I may have other weird things but bipolar is not one of them.

I think maybe it would be a good idea if we titled our posts like this~ Hard day (bipolar 28 year old daughter) that way people looking through the posts will not waste time if they are looking for answers for a young child. Just a suggestion because when some of us first got on here we were so grieved we probably could not see straight (I know I was). If you all agree, give a thumbs up or thumbs down.


12/22/2010 01:24 PM
Terrym
Posts: 77
Member

I think that makes sense.
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