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05/16/2010 10:49 PM

SO TIRED OF MY DAUGHTER WISH I COULD SEND HER AWAY

lovemybmw
 
Posts: 11
Member

Sad i'm actually to tired to write anything about her it does'nt make any since having to deal with this bull shit with a 14yr old bratt she has made my life a living hell and it's all about her getting her way or no way i'm want too go to sleep now even though i did'nt finish what i wanted to write but that's just how DEPRESSED i am so maybe tomorrow if i feel better i will post the rest of my horrble life with this child so so sick and tired of her i wish i could just send her away for a good two months maybe more!!!
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05/17/2010 04:55 AM
gardengirl
gardengirl  
Posts: 1727
Senior Member

*hug* We're here when you're ready...

05/17/2010 09:09 AM
lovespurple
lovespurple  
Posts: 70
Member

I could definitly relate, I too have felt like sending her away. I have felt that I wish I could just give her away somehowe. Then I think, she is mine, and no one will fight as hard to get her better but me, her mom. Believe me though, my whole family has been in hell & is being tormented by her. Just try to stay strong, we were chose as these children's parents for a reason.

05/17/2010 09:30 AM
devylou
Posts: 30
New Member

I think we all can relate to these feelings, plus the guilt that usually accompnies them. Stay strong, and feel free to vent. I am finding it so helpful to share feeling with people who have the same experiences I do!

05/17/2010 10:33 AM
jbsmom
jbsmom  
Posts: 1291
Senior Member

I totally know how you feel! I was hoping my son would just run away! I haven't talked to him for 6 days now. He has NO CLUE as to why I am mad at him. He is totally self absorbed, has no feeling for anyone else in the family and never offers to help...even when he is adamantly told to help!

He does not contribute to us in any way, shape or form to us as a family unit. NOTHING AT ALL! He could leave and no one would miss his interactions...because there are none!


05/17/2010 03:31 PM
carolinapat
 
Posts: 222
Member

I can so relate. My daughter was impossible to deal with in high school. She was always sad unless she was with her boyfriend. My ex husband has bipolar so I know the signs only too well. I had her evaluated but I was told she was just a teenager. The day she went to college I was so happy. I felt like the weight of the world was lifted from me.

She has since been diagnosed with BP. Her manic episodes have been crazy and dangerous. She's back on meds now so the mania is better but she says she's still depressed.She has had two children and lost custody of them due to stopping the meds. Hopefully she has learned her lesson and will continue the meds.

Ever thought of an IUD for birth control? At least you wouldn't be messing with hormones. God bless. Please try to get counselling for yourself.


05/18/2010 03:04 PM
fairlanelady
fairlanelady  
Posts: 381
Member

Same here! I was checking into residential treatment camps last week. I was so DONE. I'd been in tears twice the previous week, and get nothing but constant "black" looks from her...that anger beneath the surface she's trying to contain, but can't hide, when you ask her the simplest question.

I am totally unconcerned if our kid runs away. I refuse to stress about it. If she does, then we'll change the locks, and she can go to juvie when they catch her, and deal with the consequences.


06/01/2010 10:37 AM
lovemybmw
 
Posts: 11
Member

Hello there, it's been a few weeks since i posted the way i felt about my daughter well since then we've had up and down day's with her she is a piece of work what gets me with this Bipolar Crap is the fact that she knows how to act at school and if she goes to someone else's house they will say she's such a big help not one problem and i know i should be grateful that she knows how to behave when she's with someone else and also if she is getting what she wants everything is just peachy at home but she does'nt deserve anything other than a good old fashion ass woopen because to me if someone has a mental illness the would'nt be able to contain the outburst no matter where they are so i find that Bipolar is just a bunch of crap she's now taking Well Butrin and also Abilify sometimes she tries to make me think she's spaced out after taking it and she has know idea i'm watching her and by the way she will be 15 this year in october and she also has a twin sister who's quite the opposite of her she has put such a strain on my family i do believe sometimes she wants to break up the family but my husband and i have been married for forteen years actually it will be forteen years this month on june 29th so there is know way i'm going to let that happen she's also in a Bootcamp thru out police department which is held every thursday at the police station and while she's doing the bootcamp my husband and i and several other parents are in a parenting class so far it's working but she is still being a pain in the Butt at home i've started to see someone for counsiling for my self sometimes i feel like it does'nt help so i just try do deal with her one day at a time and our poor son who's 12 now wishes we would just send her away i have know idea what the future has in store for her when she gets out in the real world will she be able to function with this so called Bipolar Disorder which i'm not buying at all so anyway i'm feeling much better than i was a few weeks ago i just wanted too DIE and i'm so serious because i'm not used to kids being so rude to there parents and all the shit that she puts us through is just a freakin nighmare she has these meltdowns and sometimes she can just be sitting in one spot looking really really crazy and i'll say something like what's wrong with you and her response will be nothing most of the time i think she gets a kick out of my reaction so now i just act as if she's not doing anything for negative attention it seems to me that about 90% of the kid's today that were botn in th 90's are just full of themselves and it's societys fault because they know if you hit me i can call 911 ok well let me give you the phone better yet i will dial it for you so what i'm trying to say is that i really think these kid's or these teenagers are just freaking spoil and they're on all of this medication for the wrong reason at least that's what i think about my spoil brat so i hope whom ever reads this understands what i'm trying to say.

06/01/2010 08:57 PM
WornDownandWornOut
Posts: 20
New Member

Let me just say this -- I understand. I totally and wholly understand. Somtimes it feels like we just want them to go. I so get that. Until I found this place I felt so guilty to feel those things and saying them was out of the question but finally finding people who "got it" helped so much. It hurts. ~hugs~

Mine moved out in a manic episode 6 weeks ago to show me by how badly she could hurt me by hurting herself. But she is an adult so there's not much I can do. It's not illegal to be bipolar and off meds, just unhealthy and frustrating for anyone who loves them.

It was heart wrenching at first. Funny how a few weeks away can help. I hated feeling angry all the time. Feeling so out of control. Feeling like no matter what I did or tried to do for that child to prepare her for a real life outside of mom's protection that I was wasting my time.

She has been out and dealing with her choices now for almost six weeks and while I've talked with her and she's admitted she is having a rough time, the peace in our house is amazing. I'd forgotten how to live without turmoil. It's hard watching her dealing with the consequences of her choices but I am finally feeling empowered by not choosing to bail her out of the mess.

And maybe this will help. It is so easy to become all consumedwith raising this child who seems to suck all of our will to live out of us....and with a little distance I realized, I don't dislike the child. I love the child. I hate this damn disease though.

I hate that it crushes dreams and hopes and it turns the families of those who have to cope with it insideout. I hate that my child uses love as a weapon against me.

This disease sucks. It sucks the life out of families and it becomes this vacuum where the bi polar child sucks all of the air out of the relationship. I wish I had answers for you other than to tell you I get it. I also have found, far too late I fear, that boundries really have helped me. She cannot hurt me when I keep the differention between loving her and hating the disease. I also find that boundries are healthy for me. It's hard to watch her suffer the consequences of her choices but if I'd let her experience a few more consequences earlier on....oh heck, who knows if would have done a thing. If onlies are a symptom of my codependence I unwillingly and begrudgingly took on.

All that was just to say, I understand. Take some time for some self care because it can be all consuming to care for kids with these issues and it makes it so hard to gain perspective. You might really benefit from talking with a counselor about how YOU are doing. Remember, YOU have feelings and the right to be emotionally healthy too. It's so easy to lose yourself and YOU have value and need some compassionate care too.


06/02/2010 04:20 AM
lillipets
Posts: 1495
Group Leader

Well said and AMEN to that!
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