Parents of Bipolar Children Support Group

My daughter went to see a new doctor (this is the first dr. we have seen outside the "assigned" dr. she had while in the hospital). He seems to think that she isn't bipolar at all. He said based on how I described her ways and problems we are having, she is Borderline Personality Disorder. He said that her moods don't seem to be really high then really low as a bipolar persons would be. Of course, when I read all the symptoms of BPD, they totally match the way she is. I just don't know if we are on the right path this time or will she be diagnosed with something different down the road. I realize that a lot of mental disorders have the same symptoms so I am sure that it is easy to believe it is one thing vs. another. This was our first appt. with him and we have another one in 2 weeks. She is still taking the Abilify daily and even though we still have our moments with her (which I would now rate as "normal" teenage crap), the medication does seem to be working. I still feel as though I am just waiting for the bomb to drop though. I just cringe whenever she approaches me about something or I have to go to her about something because in the back of my mind I am thinking "OK, this could be the one!!.....be prepared!" I hate being like that (I'm afraid that she can sense it) but I have been "burned" enough in the past to know to be prepared when you're around the fire!

Post edited by: deepbreath, at: 05/02/2010 07:38 PM

Wow! That is exactly how I feel when my son will ask me something. I always cringe. Same thing when I am talking to teachers or any other adults that know my son and they want to tell me something about him. It is instant "cringe". I'm always afraid of what they're going to say. It's a terrible way to feel.

As a matter of fact, my phone was ringing just now and I know it was my son. And I ignored it! Gosh! I can be a jerk. But I know he was going to ask me to have people over (which we had talked about earlier today).

I had a deal with him that he could have people over at 6:00 tonight to watch a movie. I even went out and got snacks for all of them. But it is now after 8:00 and he's not home. I made him promise that if he had people over, that he would sit down and do his algebra homework when they left...that is why I wanted the evening to start at 6:00.

So you see where this is going right? He'll bring kids over, watch a movie and it will be 11:00 before he even thinks about the homework and he won't want to do it. Then all hell will break loose.

We'll see how this pans out.....ugh!!!!

I hope it works out for you (I'd be praying that he didn't even bring it up when he got home)! My daughter does that to me a lot also! I try to be a good parent and give her time to do things with her friends and then it usually comes back and bites you in the butt!! My daughter will start by asking to do one thing and then by the time she is done "planning" with all her friends, it has turned into something completely different. If I say "no" then (because it may now be something that I don't want her to do), then I am the bad person. But the thing that I said ok to has totally changed from it's original plan!! I have tried to explain to her that what I agree to can change if she changes the plans on her end (whether it be on what she is doing or who she is doing it with). Her plans usually never stay to what we originally agree on. She also assumes that just because she mentions something to me, then I have given her the ok to do it. Even when my answer is "we'll have to see how things go". Well things can go not so good during the week and she gets mad because I won't let her do it. I have to constantly re-explain that just because she mentioned it to me does not mean that she automatically gets to do it! She doesn't get the concept of asking doesn't always mean getting. She just assumes that because she wants it, she will get it.

Wait, Wait.....or how about when they know the rules, and you have told them over and over, what they are, but they still ask, and then blow up when you tell them NO!!! Grrrr...I hate that the most, or they try and put you on the spot with someone...which it dont bother me, tell you NO, them NO, and whoever else...but I know what you are all talking about....She called me today, saw her last Thursday...and we talked about not getting to go to Oklahoma...so now she is behaving and doing everything right. She is working them hard, and I know it...but if they told her she wouldnt beable to get out in time to go. all this fake ass shit she is pulling will blow up quick...they are the professionals, and they dont see it...they hear me talking..but they aint listening

OMGGGGGGGGGGG, YOU HAVE ME ROLLING OVER HERE!!!! THAT IS WHAT I AM SAYING, MY DAUGHTER DOES IT TOO...LMAO

My daughter is really good about telling me that I never do ANYTHING for her! Oh, if only I had the stress-free life of never doing anything for her!! I would be sleeping better at night and not feeling the need for a martini constantly!! Will there ever be a day when I look forward to spending time with her again?? It seems that our time together these days usually ends up with me feeling like I am somebody that just totally disgusts her and making me want another martini! Even when we have a "normal" conversation that doesn't turn into an "episode", I usually can't truly enjoy it because I am wondering what the crap is she trying to be nice to me for!!??....what is she going to be wanting now!!??.....I better start preparing myself....where's my martini??!!

I totally understand where you guys are coming from. That is how my relationship is with my son. He never really wants to be around us, but he will "lurk" when he wants something. So he'll stand or come and sit down with us (WHICH HE NEVER WANTS TO DO USUALLY) until he either can't wait anymore or I just jump the gun and say..."What's up?" We are never wrong on this one...it's the same thing EVERT TIME!!!!!

We rarely have normal conversations and I agree with you in that whenever he does talk to me, something is up.

No wonder I'm wound so tight! I'm cringing just thinking about it.

I feel bad this is happening to you as well, but it does make me feel better that I'm not the only person reacting this way. He's 15 but I can't wait til he gets married! LOL

Well my daughter thinks I should be up in her face 24/7 and when Im not....she pushes herself on me, which usually brings out a bad reaction from me...only when I am letting her do something she wanted to do, is she fine with me not being in her face...She does this, you are my mom, you should want to talk to me, ask me thing, blah blah blah...but what it is, she dont want to talk about positive things, she wants to talk negitive things, so I will question it, so it will annoy her, for her to get upset, and then all hell breaks out...its back and forth, up, down, good, more bad...fake, real, sad, happy. Almighty, not good enough..ect..and this is just within a week..

I really wonder is it me??????

I was finally feeling peace, until the call today...I know they are going to let her out, and she is not ready, she is playing them, and they are the professionals and they dont see it, or do they???

I have family therapy on Mothers Day, and I am not playing this game with them...I want answers, with out looking like I should be in there too, lol/

With my daughter, it's talktalktalktalktalk... and very little listening! I've taken to just biting my tongue and letting her yap at me; she's able to get all the talk out of her (even if it's the same story over and over or something totally unrelated to what she was saying before) and that seems to lower her stress level. Raises mine to new heights, but hey... it's all about choices, right?