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07/11/2011 07:12 PM

Disappointed again

emelgar731
emelgar731  
Posts: 10
New Member

My son Max called last night to say he was done and wanted to go into DETOX, so I pick him up against the advise of my husband and other children. I feed him give him new clothes because he looks and smells like a hobo. He brings his so called girlfriend, he says she is not staying just spending time before he goes to detox. Long story short, they both spend the night, this morning I called out sick and work so I can get him into a program, made tons of calls to the insurance and several detox facilities. When its time to go he says he changed his mind and he is not ready..I guess he had no intention of ever going in, they probably just needed a place to stay and of course he knew what button to push to convince me to let him stay...I told him to leave and not to call me until he is ready to get help. I even took his phone away. maybe that was a mistake but I was so disappointed.
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07/11/2011 08:36 PM
islandcat
islandcat  
Posts: 2672
Senior Member

No you did the right thing. You so called it right and taking the phone away is like taking their drug contact away. You know better than us that he used you so stay strong and try not to fall into the trap again cause they are oh so clever. Try to leave it behind know you did the right thing and move on. Be strong you know all the tricks they will play. Hugs to you

07/12/2011 08:29 AM
sandip12
 
Posts: 44
Member

This is sandi12 and I HAVE BEEN in your position for about 18 months. I is so hard to believe our children would get to this place and what can we do ? I have had many time over the past year when my son would say one thing and do the other. My husband says if you let hime come around you will just end up hurt again. Its been hard since I still saw my son as he used to be. As hard as it is I am forcing myself to look at his shadow and to know this is a part of him. the july 4 weekend I let

him do some yard work to earn money, it would have worked out great but in the process he stole a check and wrote it out for 175$. I was disappointed again.

When he called a few days after he told me I just said he couldnot come to the house since he could not could not control himself. I think we have both made the right decision and need to believe in ourselves. I am here to support you Sandi12


07/13/2011 08:07 AM
teetime4u
teetime4u  
Posts: 1002
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

It is so hard to deal with them when they are in active addiction. They will tell you what you need or want to hear. It makes it very hard and disappointing. You did the right thing and sometimes it is the only thing that you can do to protect yourself and family. I am here for you! Love Tee

07/13/2011 09:47 AM
pattB
 
Posts: 6944
Group Leader

New scam alert, daopay is a service a scammer can use to charge a fee for a service or good from your phone number with no cc card, it will charge 35.OO each time to your phone bill, if you are like us and do not check all billed calls you can be charged that fee without your knowing. Not my daughter...thank God she is still clean. A renter was using a phone in the annex building and had charged a thousand dollars over the last six months, after two days of hassle our phone company is removing charges back to Dec. 1,000.03. Giving a heads up people to check your phone bills. I thought I knew all the tricks but this is the latest and greatest. We need to realize that protecting our households and finances is the number one priority Hard to know anymore with addiction so widespread who is out for a quick grab. It is something really, because we stopped checking those things when my daughter left home, my husband thought he was always just late on the previous bill so would just pay half. Nope every month without making long distance calls we were having three hundred dollar phone bills. They only have to pick up the phone for a min. so anyone can do it from your house phone.

Here are some tips, locks on every door you do not want your addict in. Follow them around when they start doing the scammer walk, no checks left out, no purse no keys, blocks on phone daopay needs a 900 block. Security camera, 100.00 at rite aid. All c.c. jewelry in safe, take photo's of all lic. plates of unknown or known cars your child comes to your house in, (in some cases let them know you are doing so), mail boxes need to be secure so the addict cannot steal a c.c. offer. My daughter never really stole from me like most but I believe it may have crossed her mind. Always let them know if you steal from me i will throw you ass in jail quicker than you can blink an eye.

She is still doing well, almost a year now, loves her job, making good money was voted house President of the Oxford house. The renter is going down, we are getting print outs of the daopay and as soon as I link it to him I will file charges. In this day and age they are smarter than we are in how to rip you off. I looked into lifelock and things like that, hell for nine to eighteen dollars it may be worth it even though I feel safe with my daughter, we are living in times where H use has become an epidemic and it does not even have to be your sons or daughters. The sooner we lessen the target factor the better, also addicts can sell your info so do not leave ss numbers and the like around. Love and missed you all. Patti


07/13/2011 11:12 AM
greeneyemommy

is she still on suboxines? what Mg ? I am so happy for you Patti.....how long can a person stay on suboxines?

07/13/2011 11:56 AM
pattB
 
Posts: 6944
Group Leader

They have to dose down for a period of time, also depends on how much they used before, stress factors, (new jobs, changes)She is getting pretty low and thats what counts. New studies have found a year for younger age groups is more successful. The strips are pretty safe, can't abuse a strip. Well, I suppose some addicts have tried to dissolve them, it is really between the pt. and the Dr. and thats fine with me..whew!
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