Parents of Addicts Online Support Group

We had a good talk today. She asked me to call her ex and see if he would give her his new address so she can write him a letter. She said she was hoping he would visit her. She also said she left him because of the drugs, not because she didn't want to be with him or because she wanted to be with the others. She said she's so lonely in jail and if he would just visit her it would help her sooo much. I asked him what he felt and he would not give his address to her. He said she could send the letter to me and I could forward it to him. He's afraid she will get out and those guys will find out where he lives and rob him again. He will consider visiting her after he gets the letter according to what it says. He told me that she only wants him when she's at rock bottom and I explained to him that bottom is the only time she's not on drugs and thinking for herself, like now.

I asked her what she was thinking when relapsing and she said its like you fall into a black hole with no bottom and are trying to climb out and every time you get close it pulls you back in. Kind of like drowning. She said its impossible to describe really but that is as well as she can communicate it.

The entire family of these guys is going on the "no visit" list. She said she felt like telling them to F off but I suggested she not confront them, just put them on the list, that way there's no confrontation and they will think her attorney did it. We don't need them fired up, they are already trying to throw her under the bus.

Anyway, there's the update for now. Thanks for the support and good wishes. It is so hard, even now.

Sadmom again it looks like more progress. She is working her way back to the safety and loving arms of her family. God does everything for a reason. I am rooting for her and I pray for her continued strength. How was she feeling today? Health wise?

I asked her and she said no seizure today but she's incredibly tired and very depressed. She is able to eat a little now but isn't sleeping much at all. All withdrawal symptoms, not to mention being in jail.

pam, thank God no seizures today. the other symptoms do sound like withdrawl. the poor girl. it must be so hard to be there and feel like crap, but it sure does sound like she is thinking clearer.please God help her in her journey back to those who love her. please God take care of our kids. love and peace, sharon

Take comfort that all this pain is the foundation for her to recover and don't try to leson it.. I don't think she needs the comfort of her ex boyfirend.. Nothing at all to medicate her emotional pain will increase the odds of her recovery..Feeling lonely is good. I think your communication with her is good for you as much as her, but remain cautious in your support...She needs to see you maintain boundaries..Sounds like things are in progress... My son tells me that jail is the best treatment center,, She has had a serious problem and it is going to take a long time to not crave the drugs and to see her self as competent again....So glad she is on the journey!!

Some of it was manipulation by this violent abuser, but some of it was her own free choice.

pam,

have you talked to her again? hope she is ok. love, sharon

Haven't spoken to her since day before yesterday. I have no idea why she stopped calling but I am not reacting well to it. Her last visit for the week is gone as of yesterday and I don't know who went and saw her. She has no real friends there so it scares me. I have not gotten one call since this person, whoever it is, went and saw her.

oh pam,

i'm praying that she is ok. try to relax a little today. let go and let God. love, sharon

Well Pam I think that I would be alarmed as well. As addict not wanting someone to blow a cover on something might ask of the partner or just witness in crime, to have a gag order, there is a likelihood someone said," i do not want you talking to your mother."

Or perhaps it could be as simple as her attorney used that visit. Will an attorney or public defender use up a visit or do they have their own alloted times? I hope it is not that he was told to keep her mouth shut, as some female gang member can be the eyes and ears for the other brother who is affiliated with a gang. If this is the case you can pose as a long lost friend, using your middle name and maiden name and write letters without your home address and use a p.o. box for communication. Cra- i hope this is not the case.

In rereading your post, it has just been a day, so don't go there unless it is many days.

Hold strong, you are a strong person and can do this, I am thinking of you.

Love patti

Post edited by: pattB, at: 06/30/2012 10:16 AM