Parents of Addicts Online Support Group

The prisons are so full now, that most states are trying to deal with what they can in drug courts.. She will be OK... This is just what it took to get her clean... If she did go to prison, she would be in a minimum security bldg and they would probably target her for early release. She will have a better quality of life than she did..I agree with trying to get a female attorney and let them know that you want to be involved. Interesting that she had the foresight to detox herself before this happened! Consider this an effective intervention!! She is safe and alive!! This is a chance for her!! I hope you feel some relief! You and she will get through this..HUGS

She has 2 separate cases, her charges are:

4 counts of MFG DIST SELL POSS CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE

3 counts of UNLAWFUL POSSESSION CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE

POSSESSION OF DRUG PARAPHERNALIA

POSSESSION LESS THAN 2 OZ MARIJUANA

I still have some research to do, but I'm assuming the first 2 charges are felonies. She had a medical marijuana card that expired so that wouldn't have been a crime if she had that renewed. Not sure what the paraphernalia was, probably pot smoking papers or device.

Pam, I know your situtation only too well with my daughter having been incarcarated since February. She was given no bond and she has found those involved in her crimes have pretty much thrown her under the bus. She has found out a little too late that it's everyone for themselves.

Some Public Defenders actually do a really good job and at least in my jurisdiction, the court will sometimes appoint private practice attorneys. For my daughters murder charges a friend of mine has taken her case. This has been a blessing, but he is not handling the forgery charges which occured in another jurisdiction and she was appointed a private practice attorney. Because she is being held an hour from that court the attorney has only met with her minutes before court. I have done a lot of ground work with those cases and constantly been on the phone with them trying to assist and provide information. I would suggest that as soon as she finds out who is representing her, she give them verbal or written permisssion to speak with you so you can assist as much as possible.

You should be able to put money on an account for her to call you, but it is still expensive. I am currently looking into getting a prepaid cell phone with a number local to the jail to reduce this cost. That would be more of a problem for you because of distance. I am only two hours away. She also was having to pay (or I should say I was having to pay)$1 a day for the luxary of staying there until she was able to start working in the laundry.

I would hope that with no previous criminal history, they would give her a break. Hopefully she will be able to provide them with information they need or want about the hoodlums.

Being in jail is the best thing that could have happened to my daughter. She is beginning to reset her brain and realizes her current situation probably saved her life.

Hang in there. I will be praying for her and your family. Love, Julie

Really great advise julie, not only for Pam but a future info base. Thank you.

Thanks so much Julie, that's great info. Here's the update...

Last night she said her "boyfriend's mother visited her! She lied and told my daughter that her son's charges are getting more serious and his bond is up to $250,000 and hers is dropping. I know she did this to get her to believe she wasn't being ratted on and to gather her trust and get info. from her. I think it probably worked since my daughter has no way of checking on the status of charges except to ask me and I wasn't near a computer. Great. I don't know what it is, but she falls for their B.S. every time. I will tell her this morning when I speak to her. I've already told her not to talk about it to anyone but her public defender but they have a way of just shutting off her brain and she just does whatever they tell her, like a robot or something.

My husband asked for an opinion from an attorney out there last night and she said these charges are "very serious" and even she couldn't get her off all of them. Retainer is $8,000 and $250 per hour. We are not doing it, just wanted to try and get some info...

Tell her if she has never listened to you before on anything to listen to you now on NOT saying a word.

I am sending you love and strength.

When my son was arrested a couple years ago and then violated probation and was tossed back in jail he was very angry with me for not bailing him out or hiring an attorney either time. It was a very difficult stand for me because we all want to rescue and help and fix but it has to come to a point where you realize putting a band-aid on a hemorrhage is not gonna work. One thing I have learned is clean and sober while incarcerated is not clean and sober in life. They do talk the talk while in jail and are (somewhat) clear-headed, maybe scared, usually desperate to get out - but as I told my son... until you walk the walk.. no dice.

Here's hoping all works out well for your family.

I so agree with you tryingtimes, sober in jail is not the same. They are forced to be of course due to circumstances but they do not have to attend meetings, if in fact they have any support like that. They can still talk tough, trade war stories as they call them in rehab, have visits from the wrong friends. We can only hope that being off drugs that long will change them enough so they dont go right back into it. My son never asked for any help for me when he went to jail, his dear drug buddies hired a lawyer for him, which 5 years later and many threats he paid back by giving him his car. I hope jail does some good, hugs Lynda

Thanks Island. I wanted to jump back on here and say my previous post was in no way meant to be advice or even a suggestion on how to handle anyone's situation. It's what works best for me. I have to be on such guard all the time because my hopefulness can be manipulated so easily. And honestly - being tough with my son kills me; goes against everything I am just one human being to another let alone a mother to her son - but it's the only way I can save myself.

Hugs back....cuz we all sure need them!

Leslie

Hey no prob, we all say our feelings, opinions and take them just as that. If someone asks for a help we can share what we have done to save our kids or ourselves and people can take from that or not, whatever works. And trust me my hopelessness has allowed me to be manipulated so many times too, being tough with your son is the hardest thing you may ever do. Getting to the final straw with my son nearly landed me in the looney bin and I am serious about that. Hugs Lynda, it will get better.