Parents of Addicts Online Support Group

Do your kids freely "admit" to being addicted or do they deny it?

With my son's behavior over the last few years, it has become apparent that he is/was/still is addicted to painkillers (snorting). However, he denies that he was "addicted".

Is this normal?

My experience is that most will deny, deny, deny about being addicted. I dont think they see themselves as an addict just has we didnt for however long it took us to accept it. My son always said he didnt have a problem, he used once in awhile (yup sure) but that he was fine. He was not addicted and he could quit anytime he wanted (wrong). I think especially with snorting painkillers cause painkillers have been around for a long time and are used by millions just to get through their day that using them wasnt such a bad thing. Until, like any drug or addiction it takes over mind and body and now we have an addict who will steal to get their high from painkillers. I guess you could test him and say fine for the next 5 days you can stay with me and will not leave and be drug tested everyday. Hmmm thinking he will say okay and be out that door as quick as he can. When my son was on oxys I didnt think he was an 'addict' because I thought only addicts did heroin, coke, crack, meth etc. But his behaviour soon changed my opinion. I mean I guess they can use recreationally for awhile but with snorting or shooting up their body will not just let them do it once in awhile. It will catch up with them. Just my opinion.

Denial is very common among addicts. Unfortunately my son admits he is an addict but doesn't feel he really needs help to quit using. After a year and a half of trying on his own and saying that he can do it with just outpatient help. He is still using and struggling. As we know, when they are using, nothing they say is rational or makes sense. God be with you and your son and your family during this time. Your Friend in a common walk, Linda

Thanks for the replies. I guess that sure rings a bell as far as "deny, deny, deny" and I can quit anytime I want to.

I haven't been on here (this forum) that long as I thought my son's problem was "bipolarism" but now I am pretty sure that was a perfect out for him. We were going to psychiatrists and therapists because of this condition but now, a few years of all this weird stuff going on, we find out that weed and painkillers were the culprit. I do believe he is suffering from depression but now not so sure about being bipolar.

I have said this before but I will update everyone that doesn't know my story: My son is 17 and a few weeks before his 17th birthday, we sent him to a "troubled teen" school. After a few months there he had to write a confession letter. In it, he said he was smoking weed (whenever he had the chance) and he was snorting painkillers.

After many letters back and forth I made the reference to addiction. He was very put off by that and said he wasn't addicted.

But why would he say he was?

I'm just learning all this shit!

Hey Girl,Just read your post and you know I have been dealing with this same issue.I just wrote on a post at parents with bp kids that drugs can have some of the same symptoms as BiPolar.I'm still trying to figure out if my sons issues have more to do with drugs than mental illness. When he first got out of jail and his head was clear,he seemed to be much better.Given the fact that the nurse at jail forced him to take his meds.Now unfortunately he's back on the pain killers also.I can't get him to understand that until he stays off of drugs,we won't be able to figure out what his needs are.Those who don't know my story,this is a crash coarse.My son is a drug addict and has some mental illness issues is homeless and has a girl pregnant.He does work, but is always broke.Guess where his money goes?

As far as the denial that seems to be the norm.My son says the same thing "I can quit whenever I want". I have read until they say aloud that I"M A ADDICT AND NEED HELP the denial will continue.Once they give in to the idea that they are addicts thats when things should change.

Hang in there girl,your always in my thoughts.

Post edited by: jjsmom, at: 04/12/2012 02:16 PM

I would guess he really doesnt think he is addicted. I mean I am still learning even after 4 years but maybe using once in awhile doesnt make you an addict???I am sure my son thought that too in the beginning and me as well. Does someone who has a glass of wine with dinner every night get called an alcoholic? Someone who smokes pot on a regular basis an addict? You have raised a very interesting question. The defination of addiction is 'continued use of mood altering substance or behavior despite adverse consequences'. There is neurological impairment and there will be withdrawal symtoms meaning the body has reached an intolerance of the amount of substance, meaning they need more to satisfy the cravings.

From seeing what my son went through, first able to fool me as I could not put my finger on what was different but knew something was and as his usage increased noticeable changes, drooling, sniffing, sleepy, slurring. Then there was withdrawal which brought about eratic behavior as he desperately needed more or sleeping for days at a time.

I would agree that a lot of addicts can be depressed, their body chemistry is all messed up so there is a lot of labels we could put on them. But the bottom line is no one should use painkillers for any reason than what the Dr.prescribed them for because they are as addictive as any other drug out there and continued use no matter how small can become a huge problem.

Do you know how often he uses them and of course what he is doing is illegal. I am sure someone else can add to this but I hope you can stop him while he is this young. You will hear people often say I am a functioning addict, which means they still hold down a job etc. but are still an addict. I just believe you are or you arent an addict. I hope you can get some understanding to this.

My son freely admits he is addicted to oxy or any other kind of opiate. He doesn't think anything is wrong with smoking marijuana and he says you can't get addicted to it. He is off and on in his use of oxy and evidence suggests that he smokes pot daily. He doesn't think he needs inpatient even though three other programs have said he does. I believe he is addicted to marijuana since he smokes it everyday, even in our home and on our property, and especially because he will spend every dime he finds to buy it and have it delivered to our mailbox.

My son is a binge meth user, at the moment he hasn't used for the past few months...perhaps used a little bit in between since December as I can tell by his sleeping behavior, weight loss & erratic behavior. He does not deny nor accept he is an addict. I also supsect he is severly depressed or bipolar...don't know as he refuses to seek any help for either his addiction or mental problems. He does deny that any thing is wrong with him & blames us for any problems & or issues he might have. He has not held a job in a few years, has only a few aquaintances he calls "friends" but spends most of the days alone on his computer. I suspects he hooks up some of these "friends" with his dealer & gets paid with meth as we have not had any problems with him stealing from us...yet. This has been going on and off for the past 7-8 years. I do feel he lives in denial, that he truly believes that there is nothing wrong with him mentaly or that he has any problems with addiction. But living off of us, being isolated from the outside world, having sporadic friends & girlfriends, not doing anything with his life, and being a binge "user" is not what I call "living like a King" as he tells people or posts in his computer, but is living in total denial and delusion.

I know what you mean although my sister would call herself a "binge" user and does not have a problem. She also blames my mom and now me for all of her life problems. My straw broke when she was then saying all she had done for me after I have listen to her blame my mom for why she did not go to college, or talked about how much she has done for her??? No parent is perfect but to blame someone else for your emotions and why you have not accomplished want you wanted for life is wrong. We had a young mom (3 kiddos by 20) so she did the best she could, was a hard worker and mad sure we had a roof over our head and food in our belly. Those are the things I look at the positives and what molded me. The negative outlets your son and other addict take in the blame game is what addicts do to rationalize. Also, I know my sister is depressed, how could she not be with the valium, alcohol use, and daily weed usage.She says, "I only used 20 valium this year?? (non prescribed), and damn right I drink with all I am going through. I mean I put myself all the way through Grad school, and was proud to show my mom I used the tools she gave me. Addicts just don't think like that. She deny's she has any problems, sleeps as much as she can, and is always complaining about nothingness even if you try to be positive. From what I found so far we are all in the same boat. They don't have a problem and we are crazy. (((Hugs))) for you and your family.

Welcome sadsister. Keep posting glad you found support for yourself. Big hugs patti