Parents of Addicts Online Support Group

My son has been acting "normal" for about 6 days. Apparently he has relapsed again. I read his text messages and found that yesterday he bought OC and Cotton: which I think is oxy? He also purchase weed.He had it delivered to our mailbox where he left $80 for OC and $40 for weed...according to the text messages. I don't know what to do. He has seemed so "not high" this last week. Where did he get the money? He has been working but only training and said he hadn't received a pay check yet. We take him and pick him up from work so if he did get a paycheck he must have left work to cash it and came back. I don't know whether to let it be his disease or say something. I don't want to screw up all that he has accomplished so far and I don't want more holes in the walls..Pam

Pam they are so creative when it comes to getting money for the drugs..they steal,borrow, pawn and get loans. So sorry, sometimes they really do seem normal except for the pupils, change in their voices and of course the attitudes. I can so tell when my son lies, they think the are so clever...prayers for you and him.

Pam I think you need to say something, you have every right as he is in your home. I have been fooled before saying my son seemed normal while my daughters said they saw it, I think I was just wishful thinking and trying not to see. I dont think he can just use whenever he feels like it without it becoming full blown addiction. If we use the word relapse then its done and back to support or meetings or whatever may be needed. You need to talk to him, I know you can do it. Sitting here praying it will all turn out okay. Hugs Lynda

Okay, I talked to him. He said he did order oxy from the dealer but didn't get it. Whatever! He said he did get his paycheck and cashed it (which he was suppose to give to us to help pay for about $40,000 worth of bills, car, court costs, lawyer etc.). He said he is not addicted to weed or oxy. Then gave up and said he was addicted to oxy but didn't use it.He doesn't agree with us that if he can't stop using everything for a year that there is a problem (especially since he still has another court date and needs to complete treatment). I didn't raise my voice, was teary eyed as I have been all day. I told him that he is almost 20 yrs old and shouldn't feel the need to still lie to his parents. He just said that he lies because we don't agree with his decisions so we should pay for him to move to an apt. To do what? I am not paying for an apartment for him so he can use 24/7. I told him if he didn't spend his whole paycheck on drugs that he could save enough to get his own apt. or own car. I am not buying him another car. So I laid down the rules once again and told him it was his choice to use or not to use, that I would support him in his recovery but not while he is using, even if it is marijuana. Told him he chooses his destination in life and to take a good long look at where he is heading. I got up, went inside and he got the lawn mower out and started mowing, so I assume he was doing alot of thinking. Thanks for your support. He is being extra nice now. Big surprise, huh. The good thing is he didn't punch holes in the walls, which he used to do when he was doing oxy and synthetic weed. Pam

oh pam, i'm so sorry. i've been feeling so sorry for myself the last few days that i kinda forgot we are all hurting. glad your walls are in one piece. love and peace, sharon

Oh hate to hear that this is happening again. Have you come up with your next plan? Isnt it amazing how they all feel the entitlement.. I call it the princess or prince syndrome. It is llike they expect us to always pick up the pieces and fix all their problems. It is ironic and Lord forbid you deny royalty!!!! OMG bar the door!!!! Prayers for you to find answers,. Love Tee.

Omg! Is everyone blowing up? My heart breaks for all of you! Prayers all around, visualizing white healing light around all of you and your beloved children!

What Pam? OMG Ok so here is the deal as i see it, addicts always relapse around holidays, heck they don't even need an excuse,

if you don't get on your tough man face and let him know the GIG is up, your rules, or ship up or ship out he will keep bluffing your bottom, he has put you and property at risk and you certainly don't need that, nor a dealer to think he can deliver to your mailbox, nothing like an addict knowing where a person lives. You made a me laugh, "I am not buying him another car" and "if he did not spend all the money on drugs he could afford an apartment" , see your getting it. oh my goodness it must be the day before Easter. Love to all. Ps I colored eggs every renter and their pets, tradition and it had to be done. I went slow and did not hate it as much as i thought I would. Thought a lot of Jim a renter that oded. patti

Post edited by: pattB, at: 04/07/2012 11:52 PM

yep we are all blowing up, and I love that you put white light all around us. love patti

Okay, so he slept almost all day. He asked to have a talk with us and told us he wants us to pay for the $500 down payment on an apartment and he will take care of himself after that. He will pay his bills, etc. We said we would when he stopped using drugs. He said he is never going to stop smoking weed (even though he has to pee in a cup on his court date). And we said that until he pees clean we are not paying for an apartment or for school for him. He just was trying to buy oxy 2 days ago and spent his whole paycheck on drugs. Then he walked out and punched the garage wall. I told him not to break our things and he told me to shut up. Don't know where he is now. Probably walking around the neighborhood since he doesn't have a car to drive anymore. I really want this over with. I would love for him to move out and be on his own. But I am NOT going to pay for an apartment or college while he is still using. I told him if he wanted to move out so bad he could leave or he could pee clean. Pam