Parents of Addicts Online Support Group

Sitting here tonight by myself and scared. My 17 yr old got our of juvenile Hall on Feb 2nd. Since he came home he went from sneaking out at night to do drugs to running away and I think breaking in to cars. (we found items in his room) We have had the police here 5 times in 2 wks and they are tired of coming. Last time we saw him was Thursday morning but know he has been trying to break in the house everynight while I am sleeping. My husband works 24 hour shifts so is not at home everynight. Hubby left for work this morning and while I was in the shower my son broke in and stole all my money from my purse. If it was not him the it would have to be one of his friends. This scares me so bad!! My husband says call the police and report it. Well, it takes them about 2 hours to show up now and when they do some of them make me feel like a complete idiot. He has never been violant with us or even yell at us, but you never know who is going to be with him or what drug he will be on. I wish they would have arrested him on violations 2 weeks ago when we were begging for help. Now it has come down to this, scared all the time to be home. This is not right, why won't the probation officer and the police listen to me. My biggest fear is that someone is going to get hurt. They said, well we just have to build a case against him! a case?!! when we found foil, pipes, pot and pills in his room, that should have been enough.

I called them out the other night when I came home from work and found that my bedroom light was on, noises in there and the door shut. I called 911 to search my house. The officer says. " well don't you think that it could be your son that you reported as a runaway? Well let me see, he is a runaway and a drug addict, does not have a key to my house. Is that not enough to call you to make sure it is safe to be in my house. My husband is a Fireman, he does not get to pick and choose the calls he goes on. He does not get to decide if it is important enough to go and save someone...what gives you the right to make me feel like a fool because i called when something has happened to make me feel unsafe!

I am sorry for venting! If I had somone to call that would actually listen to me I would. Hubby is in Texas for 7 more days

I give it about 1 more hour and I will be locked in my room for the night... whatever happens outside my room happens. I am not coming out until I have to go to work in the morning. I could sure use some prayers tonight.

I am so sorry to read your post. How awful to be a prisoner in your own home and afraid of your own son, I hate drugs and what it has done not just to our kids but to us as well. This just isnt right. You are absolutely right, the police should be more supportive and protective. You can bet I am saying prayers for you. My heart also goes out to you my friend, I will be here thinking about you all night. Do you have an alarm system?

Dear Mother, If it helps at all (and likely isn't a lot of help now when you're in the epicentre of crisis), most of us have been there, changed locks (multiple times since they generally con us back into the house at least three times), installed better security systems, and even taken to hiding all the valuables... which means anything that can be pawned/sold on the streets/traded for $ or drugs. It's a horrid time and the feeling of vulnerability is so frustrating when it's your own child. I don't have magic answers but can only tell you that I do understand your pain and fear. Hopefully, as you continue to contact the authorities, one of them will take compassion on your family and be someone you can turn to for help with the theft issues. In the meantime, you and yours are in my thoughts. Take good care- Alex ps- I have two big dogs. Just a thought :o) They may not like his friends too much.

I hate to hear that your going through so much..it is one thing to have items stolen from you but totally another one to be afraid of your own kid. I have never been in that situation and hope never to be so I really don't know what would be the best thing to do except for the other suggestions..security system, dog, cameras (to show to your son that you know it is him) I sure hope you can find some way to help him and yourself...I don't understand your police dept..ours love to throw people in jail for the smallest of things..more money for the court system...hugs and prayer for you and your family.

My prayers go out to you as well. I've had to lock my bedroom door at night because I just didn't know what could happen. I also have a dog that definitely helped put my mind at ease. I don't know how much protection my dog would be but at least I would be "notified" of movement in the house.

Hang in there. I understand your feelings!

Thanks to all of you! My dog alerted me last night and I was so scared and angry I took my large flashlight and dog out front to find my son hiding. Police came and gave him a ticket! He has a court date on th 12th, he needs to go back...at least he is sober,safe and a straight A student

I will still be locking myself in my room at night and making him leave the house in the morning.

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers, made it through another day!!

Jeesh! I am so sorry you are going through all this. I am praying for you and for your son. Pam

Do you have a youth at risk program in your court? Where does he live, if he is under 18 and that is where he is suppose to live you need to see about a youth at risk and then the police must answer your calls if he goofs up on any of the guidelines applied by the judge. Have the police told you you can do a youth at risk? If they have, do it, and then theirs hands are less tied. I know if a child by law is living in your home and you are in charge of them until 18 you can't lock them out or not provide food and shelter, but by law a child is only required , one tooth brush, soap, towel, two changes of clothes, pillow, blanket. It is very basic, so if he has to live here know what he is entitled to, and what you expect of him, it is your home and if he lives with you he must follow your rules, if he does not follow your rules see if you can go and do a youth at risk. They won't do it past 18 but if he is even 17 1/2 that is six months you will have court orders to make him behave. Check it out it could be called something different in your area.

Post edited by: pattB, at: 03/06/2012 08:51 AM