MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
02/02/2012 07:28 PM

Honestly can it get worse

islandcat
islandcat  
Posts: 2672
Senior Member

It totally sucks to live in a small town. I live 15 minutes from a small town and where I am is rural farm area. Well in my small world my daughters boyfriend informs me this morning that he was called upon to view a survellance (sp) video from a tractor and equipment place out my way that was broken into last nite and stolen from. He and a few others from here are friends with the guy that owns the place. One guy was caught and ratted the other two out, funny thing one of the guys on the video looked just like my son. Now just how do I feel. My daughters boyfriend said he is not going to tell anyone around here about it maybe being my son, they would have to prove it. Well some of the friends of the tractor guy are friends of mine, sadly they all have lots of money and nice acreages, do you think they will invite me around anymore if they find out about my son. Crap my life just keeps getting worse. Drugs and big time stealing, what the hell is the matter with that boy. I sent him a message tonite telling him all this. I also messaged one of his roommates asking to have a little talk with him about how my son is fitting in there.

I was just thinking today about how my life has changed and wanted to share this.

How my sons addiction is negatively affecting my life:

I am not the person I used to be, I do not laugh as much, I am sadder

My family avoids the mention of my son so I am not able to vent

They just consider him a big loser and I should have nothing to do with him

I am emotional, angry, sad, tearful, depressed

Everyday is a fight to not think about him and try to carry on like a semi normal person

My health has suffered

I avoid old friends who would not even begin to understand addiction

I change the subject if anyone brings up how is my son

Now it seems my tiny social life will be smaller as I am embarrased that people know that he is a thief

I work hard at trying to keep him out of my life yet I still miss him

I know he is going down a bad road and the ending will not be good

I have lost all hope of his saving himself, we are a long way from that

I am not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me, I am venting and I am sure some of you can relate to the change in your life by having an child who is addicted and all the crap that comes with it. Hugs Lynda

Reply

02/02/2012 08:23 PM
lostmama
 
Posts: 32
Member

Oh Sweet Lady!!!

I understand. I live all of those feelings too. Every single thing you said are things I have written in my journal. No one understands but us. The parents who deal with this devil of a problem. I am so sorry that happened. I hope that your friends don't find out it was your son...I am so humiliated by how many people my daughter has stolen from. I am so sorry. I will pray for you to be strong.

Take Care of YOU,

Debra (Lostmama)


02/02/2012 08:35 PM
islandcat
islandcat  
Posts: 2672
Senior Member

Thank you Debra you dont know how much it means to me to hear I am not alone in my feelings. I thought all the stuff I had to deal with in addiction was bad enough now it just gets worse. I am thinking of changing my name lol and becoming a whole new person, think it will help? I have heard a lot more today than I ever imagined, I dont think I can look at my son in the same way anymore. I am just biding my time, it will happen that I will have to tell his Dad if only to stop him from enabling him. He will be heart broken to hear this. But its only going to head him down to the bottom where he will have to be if he ever wants to end this life and start anew. Hugs to you Lynda

02/03/2012 03:21 AM
lostmama
 
Posts: 32
Member

I have learned that people do need to know. I hid it from everyone until I realized she was manipulating grandparents in different states...friends who didn't know...what a great actress she became. After her first overdose - I told some people who I found out were giving her money, etc. They have since stopped and are just praying for her now. I would tell his dad. You can't bear this burden alone.

And about wanting to escape. I dream of just going to a hotel by myself...ordering room service...and hiding for a bit. I have also considered moving...taking my grandbaby, my 15 year old daughter and moving away...maybe by the beach for some tranquility. We have been put through hell. And the worst part is..we have zero control over it, when does our peace begin? Love and Friendship, Debra (lostmama)


02/03/2012 07:45 AM
islandcat
islandcat  
Posts: 2672
Senior Member

Thats so weird, you have no idea how many times I have planned to take myself away to a hotel room and hide away licking my wounds. My real dream is a vacation with white beachs and palm trees and some how it will happen. I had always promised my son if he got clean I would help him get a trade or whatever, thats not going to happen now, he has too much to atone for. So that savings will be for me. And I guess it will be the big house for him this time when he gets caught, thats federal prison, and it wont be anything like provincial was, and it will be a lot longer. I cant help feeling betrayed, oh I knew he stole for his habit but this is more like a career, this is big time. Peace to you my friend.

02/03/2012 09:05 AM
pattB
 
Posts: 6624
Group Leader

Oh honey girl Lynda,

All of this I have watched you live for some time now. I know you are sick of it. You deserve to be done with it. Not that i am siding with him but unless you looked at the video, or unless the clarity is sharp, many people can look like someone else, there is a possibility this is not him, having observed with surveillance cameras myself I can tell you unless it is a close up a lot of people can look like someone, We do know he has a history of taking what does not belong to him to feed his habit but maybe there is a slight chance it is not him? So did your daughter's bf think for sure it was him? Also depending on what was taken should determine the time right.

Either way, "oh crap" you don't need this worry anymore. We all love and support you. Patti


02/03/2012 09:32 AM
islandcat
islandcat  
Posts: 2672
Senior Member

Nice of you to say so Patti and yes the video is not clear enough to prove it was him but there was a clear shot of his buddy. Sadly my daughters boyfriend informed me that my son had confided a lot in him when they were working together last fall. And he said he had stolen from this place before. So it just confirms all my suspicions that I have had tucked away. I feel sad but lets just say I am not surprised by all this. I hope he doesnt get hurt and that he will end up in jail eventually and as we have said before this is what it might take to get him clean, now if down the line he will come out a better person well that remains to be seen. Thanks again for the support I really need it right now. Hugs and love to all Lynda

02/03/2012 01:40 PM
pattB
 
Posts: 6624
Group Leader

Well you know you have mine, and I will just have to scoop you up and toss turkey off the bridge we talked about. You hold on darling, I am not leaving until you and Tee find the peace i am hoping will come at last. I believe Tee may well be on her way to seeing it so I guess your up next. Naturally now I hold space for many others now and I am seeing progress for everyone, but I must tell you that boy is a tough cookie and I suspect jail might be the place that saves his life. Hold on and don't you dare fall when I can't pick you up. Remember spring is around the corner and so am I so you need to reach out when you are tapped. Ride them horses until then. We love and support you past the moon. Patti

02/03/2012 07:26 PM
Measha
Measha  
Posts: 1205
Group Leader

Lynda, I booked a hotel room for myself when I couldn't take it anymore. I just needed to get away from everyone. I had gigantic jags of crying, feeling sorry for myself and my son. I just wanted to start over, move away. It helped me to get out of the house and be on my own for a 24 hour period. I returned with more strength than what I had when I left. I hope you are feeling better soon. Pam

02/03/2012 11:05 PM
islandcat
islandcat  
Posts: 2672
Senior Member

Thank you all, yes I can see me in a hotel, alone probably crying but letting it all out and getting away from the everyday stuff. My choice will probably be where Patti lives. After all I owe her a few turkeys or cornish hens.
Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:
<< Start < Prev 1 Next > End >>


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved