Parents of Addicts Online Support Group

My Great Niece is being raised by her Grandmother. My niece is a heroin addict & has been for years. My question is. How much should this little 8 year old be told? She is as you can imagine very smart & has been forced to grow up way to fast as it is. I say she needs to know the truth! If not the whole truth than at least not this lie she is being told now---That her mother is away at "school" learning how to be a mom! This child is soo angry she has outbursts & wets the bed & gets herself so upset to the point she almost passed out the other night. My heart breaks for her because i feel like she isnt stupid & knows she is being lied to.I left so much out of this but its my first attempt at going to a blog to find out some kind help in this mess.

Thank You to anyone who reads & can offer some advice

J

NO she doesnt need to know the truth ... us as parents cant understand addiction so how in the world can a 8 year old understand .. what you can say is that she is sick & she is trying to get better .... she can pray every night ..& talk about how much her mother loves her .... its so sad ..& I am so sorry that she has to go threw this .........poor baby.... there are alot of gran parents raising there grand kids .. I think they will help you ... we are here for you..Trish

Post edited by: greeneyemommy, at: 12/05/2011 07:32 PM

Thank you for answering me greeneyemommy -i agree she is too young to grasp all of it --i guess my question is what to tell her & i dont thnk she should be told her mother is just away at school---(Its been well over a year she has been gone now!!) I know she doesnt believe this school story & if she does she is prob thinking when the heck is school over?? & why wouldnt she rather be with me than in school??

I wouldn't tell her the truth either. I don't necessarily agree with saying she is at school though, I would maybe say mommy is a little sick and is away getting help but only if she asks. I would ask the family counselors at the rehab (if she's in one) their opinion as I'm sure this is, sad to say, not the first child with an addicted mommy. Take care

Thank you sadmom, yes she asks & her mom isnt in rehab, she just left over a year ago. Courts gave custody to grandmother (my sis in law)

Yup I am with others on this, you need to tell her she is sick,which she actually is with addiction. She will never understand addiction and with the school thing she might get a wrong impression when she is the age to go. We cant cover for our addicts on everything but a child needs to be protected, they are the innocent. Good for you for caring, hugs to you, Lynda