MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
08/25/2011 03:22 PM

So I watched this video, The Shadow....

islandcat
islandcat  
Posts: 2672
Senior Member

Has anyone seen it? It talks about our dark sides and yes we all have them. When people go over to their dark sides they cant see their shadow and thats when you can become addicted to drugs, murder, suicide on and on. Well wasnt really sure I understood it, so if anyone can add to this that would be great. But since its been going through my head a lot and since my sons addiction I have become such a different person, not a person I like or want to be. I have pissed off at least 4 people this week, some whom i dont want to ever see again. I started to realize through my own hurt and anger I am inviting negativity into my life. Like a small dumb thing someone may say I work myself up over and end up saying something that makes them dislike me. So from today I am working on my positive or light side, I want to be a nice person again and be happy and not allow my sons addiction to constantly bring out the weak, emotional dark side. Hows that for a hot Thursday. Hugs Lynda
Reply

08/25/2011 05:53 PM
pattB
 
Posts: 6620
Group Leader

This is a very old story indeed, no i have not seen the movie but there are legends of the shadow self, we all have a shadow side but sometime it becomes tilted and yes if we are pissed off and just generally critical of of things it is like inviting that self to bathe in that negative side.

say you are having a good day, you start feeling bad, mad angry, before you know it you have invited others to tap into that, and before you know it you have a bitch fest, then things start going wrong because the shadow side loves that kind of play, then the balance if tilted because now you are down that road. it is the same reason when things start breaking you should never say "what next?' When i get in that frame i can observe how it snow balls and try to pull myself into, " I think I like the better me better" Then i find it very funny because you can almost fill the shift.

I am willing to guess you need a laugh. I shall send you a story of poor cow. Sometime also Lynda sadness will try to hide under anger, but that is another story. I love you because you are so honest, I very much love you for that.

Post edited by: pattB, at: 08/25/2011 05:53 PM

Post edited by: pattB, at: 08/25/2011 06:26 PM


08/25/2011 06:25 PM
pattB
 
Posts: 6620
Group Leader

I have to type it since i can't cut and paste it. Poor me...LOL

Poor cow went through the village looking for his shadow, he looked in all the lodges. feeling sorry for himself. He could not find it anywhere "Twin Coyotes saw him one day and said "hey Poor Cow did you find you shadow?" poor cow said, "No I could not find it I give up" 'Did you try the sweat lodge?" Twin Coyotes asked "maybe you took a sweat and left it there" "I'll go look" Poor cow said. Poor cow ran off to the sweat lodge, he went inside and found his shadow, in the end the crier went around the village,

"Good news Poor cow found his shadow in the sweat lodge" the crier said "Poor cow is dead"

Kind of explains a lot. We all have shadows and we can all tilt. And when we tilt back that shadow side is gone for a time anyway.

But we are human and sometimes we need to cry to tilt back and not feel too sorry for ourselves.

I will meet you for a eggs tossing contest in the white room. You will be back to your old self in no time. It will surly be a blast if someone brings flour.


08/26/2011 06:56 AM
teetime4u
teetime4u  
Posts: 1002
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

Lynda I beleive that we all have a dark side, shadow what ever way you want to put it. We are human and because of this it is kind of like our primitive nature. Times of stress and severe trauma will make it more noticable. With me I embrace mine and make it me. It is our whole being in one. Not that I am going to kill someone or commit suicide. But with my spiritual side and my dark side I am whole and can handle both good and bad, if this makes sense. Kind of like a yen yang. With everything good there is evil and with evil there is good. My dark side helps me handle this cruel world we live in today. Cause if not I probly wouldnt ever step out my door again. Your reaction to people is normal with all you have been through and are going through. You cant deal with all we deal with and still be the smiling loving trusting soul you where before. Just like addiction changes the addicts brain, I think it changes ours too. Love Tee. Honey you are ok, just have a hard shell now. Whats wrong with that???

08/26/2011 10:54 AM
Slingersss
Slingersss  
Posts: 2536
VIP Member

I got like that too Lynda. Cranky, irritable and frankly, major bitchy. I had a hair trigger response, and it came out at a moments irritation. A lot of it was the fact that I was keeping such a tight control of my emotions about my son, and if I didn't I would probably have crawled off into the corner, and never stopped crying. Maybe it is just a hard shell we envelope ourselves in to protect ourselves, like Tee says. But, I would say that it was the one thing that actually saved me from going off a cliff.

At work it came out most of all. My boss and my co-workers were all "out for themselves" and continually tried to walk all over me to get better things for themselves. So telling them off was very freeing for me. I finally got to the point where I was able to retire and get out of the toxic negativity of work and I resigned and retired. I also, had some choice things to tell them when I walked out the door..... My attitude has been great ever since, and I hear now that they are all complaining because now they have to do my job too Hehe.....

You are completely normal, my dear. You are just reacting to a toxic negative environment. Do you really care what people think? Don't! Let them walk in your shoes for awhile and see if they don't do the same as you do. Never forget you are a fabulous, giving person and many people love you. All of us included. Never let that darkness grab you, because at the end of the tunnel there is light and sunshine.


08/26/2011 11:10 AM
pattB
 
Posts: 6620
Group Leader

Hair trigger response, angry, numb, shadow self whatever one see's that as, they were all my friends, and actually gifts to survive that very abusive time.. Think about it, it is really too much...f' in enough already, and yet day after day i had to get up, stress so tight around my neck it could of been a neck brace. Uggggg, when they clean up you see all those emotions as gifts cause it was the anger that got me out of bed, it was the numbing that helped me check in the room to see if she was dead, it was the bitch that ran off people I could not have around, it was the neg. person who judged everyone to figure out who's the dealer, So much better now.. then also as well, sometimes there are people you must let go of because the bridge may feel as if just can't take much more weight. Maybe a house cleaning is o.k. .

Shari i have missed you. patti

Post edited by: pattB, at: 08/26/2011 11:13 AM


08/26/2011 11:16 AM
Slingersss
Slingersss  
Posts: 2536
VIP Member

Exactly Patti. That anger is actually what helped us all, it is what got me out of bed and out into the world too.

And one thing I know now that things are getting better, is that my attitude and anger were actually what saved me from having a complete breakdown. It is true the saying that

"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"!

I have missed you too Patti. I had a computer breakdown and was offline for a few weeks...SIGH~Always something.


08/26/2011 12:25 PM
pattB
 
Posts: 6620
Group Leader

I took a break myself. So glad to have you posting. Your clarity, your kindness. Buy hey I can remember a much different you, you were right with me in wanting to be wringing necks! Lol

It is so much what saved us as the addict gets clean and we move past all those defenses we so get they were layers keeping us alive.

Spooking coming home again huh? But geeze um so much better now. Not really spooky, just a definite recall of the horror movie, yeah ok spooky. LMAO Lost kitty after paradise. Remember... you were so calm... "I think I will drive to the hospital now."..lol..lol

Then anger, "I am gonna kick his ass" OMG say our prayers of gratitude and keep praying for our friends. Hug patti

Post edited by: pattB, at: 08/26/2011 12:26 PM


08/26/2011 12:40 PM
kalmike
Posts: 23
Member

I want to be a happy person with a happy life inspite of my sons addiction which drags me way down.

08/26/2011 12:47 PM
pattB
 
Posts: 6620
Group Leader

Well you can be.. It does drag ones spirit down, how down are you? I don't know you but I hope you will keep posting we are ALL wonderful women here and this is a good place to come.

There is happiness with a using addict, you just got to find it. Small things, positive affirmations, good book, good cup of tea, go on a break from worry today. Big hugs, Hang in there. call someone if you are too down.

It all gets better.. I PROMISE.

Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:
<< Start < Prev 1 Next > End >>


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved