Parents of Addicts Online Support Group

Well my super-mom plans for asking the court for an order for rehab for my son have been thwarted by the likes of the one I will refer to as the "PD" (public defender). My son was supposed to appear in court tomorrow for a probation revokation hearing (it's been postponed twice already). The last hearing reset was so he could go to treatment -- which he did -- but then he relapsed his second day home. Basically, the "PD" says his case load is too heavy & he doesn't have the time to try to negotiate with the DA. He reset the court date. So -- no court order!! He did stress that my son needs to go back to treatment right away if he has any hope of staying out of jail. Now my son feels he has "dodged the bullet" again. He called his former treatment counselor...but he didn't make an appointment. I told him he has to find a treatment center, then a halfway house. He can't stay here anymore. Beyond Frustrated!!!!! I'm so sick of running myself ragged -- trying to intervene -- trying to help -- trying EVERYTHING!!

One more thing...he stole $10 bucks from my purse while I was in the bathroom. REALLY??? He denies it; but I'm pretty sure the Dog didn't take it!!!

Yes I hear you my friend. Going through similar stuff. we cant rely on the system helping its up to us, fight or run. I am choosing to run right now, sick of fighting just to have it hit me back in the face. Its only a matter of time before everything hits the fan. So I will just sit back and wait, its seems it is such a waiting game as we are helpless to change it.

So give him time frame to make the call. If it were me I would say, 'Ok here the deal, today now make the call and I would like to hear the counselor with my own ears after you are done talking to him" Better to do it asap. Last thing needed in a binge before rehab.

Rent movies like clean and sober.

Lynda you are a great Mom, there will be other Birthdays and before long the pain of these starts to fade. These special landmarks are the worst it really pulls at a lot of heart strings. Peace to you and your family. Love patti

Thank you I shed a few tears, let it go and am moving on. I know he will feel it. we recorded his niece playing happy bday to him on her guitar, which we will post. If there is any human feelings left this will hit him. Love you

Good plan, Lynda. Keep reaching out the boy that you raised that is still inside of that addict. It is exhausting to always be there to have to devise a plan, pick up pieces etc. You are in my prayers. Hugs, Tracy

Yes and thank you so much. He has been calling here daily, my daughter answers. His Dad called for his number, never remembers anyone elses bday but always his son. So now we will see how long the new plan lasts. He may well get lonelier for us if the girlfriend stays out of the picture. What is with some addicts that they have to tell you all the trouble they get into???? I would rather not know thanks. Geez

Geez... don't blame you. LOL Not funny at all but please "spare my friend" Hang tough, last time I looked the train car had no hens or turkeys a few boots i had tucked away.. Your welcome to them. Patti

Imh2011, You said, "Basically, the "PD" says his case load is too heavy & he doesn't have the time to try to negotiate with the DA. He reset the court date. So -- no court order!!" What?! That's his job, heavy caseload or not. Dang, that IS frustrating. I'd be tempted to go down to the PD's office and talk to the supervising PD. Also, have you or your son considered your son's going to court in pro per=representing himself? He has the legal right to do that. Granted, most attys. don't recommend that. The DA and PD work for the county, and all county employees are under the purview of the Grand Jury, as such. The Grand Jury has the obligation to research, review, and report on any malfeasance of govt. employees. I don't know the situation as you do, am not an atty., so I can't advise specifically. If you feel you have the energy and should, you might want to delve into it. I can understand about the frustration of the legal system and feeling as if you've intervened all you can. You've done your best and that's all anyone can expect. Dealing with addicts' problems/consequences can be super exhausting. Hugs and prayers, Suz

Suz I'm not sure if you were talking to me. I know nothing about our legal system, we do have legal aid, which basically means you get to talk to a lawyer for 10 minutes and he advises the judge whatever. My son has gone that route once. I found out we do have AA meetings in jail which if he ends up there again I will look into it. I talked to his PO before and they didnt really give a dam so I feel there is nothing I can do legally to help him, prevent him or save him.