Parents of Addicts Online Support Group

I decided that I was not going to just lay back and drown in my misery - so this weekend my boyfriend was in town (he's a truckdriver - we have been dating 6 years)we went christmas tree shopping and I found the perfect tree - not real but artificial. I had to go to three stores to find it, but I didn't mind going - it kept my mind off my daughter.

Today my boyfriend left and I did some online shopping. I even bought a gift for my daughter.

I heard my phone alert me to a text. I look and see I got a text from my daughter!!! My heart started pounding, my hands shook as I push the read text button. Maybe she is getting help and letting me know, maybe she is sorry, maybe she knows she did wrong.....maybe this, maybe that......I see the text across my phone screen....it read "I HATE YOU"

OUCH - that hurt! I just sat in my chair, no longer in the mood to shop. I just look at the walls and think of nothing. I get up do some laundry (not hers)I decide not to respond.

Then about 15 minutes later another text....it read "I need money"

I want to write...."For drugs or alcohol?" But I resist.

What should I do now?

ikkin

If it were me i would write, What makes you think i want to be supportive of anyone who hates me? that will get her to thinking and maybe say sorry. Then if she responds, it could open a dialogue it will more than likly say i am sorry because they are use to using their love to manipulate us. Then..... where are you how are you what you doing I miss you i am worried about you i love you i hope your making smart safe choices, do you need help? Just what i did.... I kept lines open enough to get an idea, then i would ask for her to speak instsead of texting. Patti

Oh so sorry to hear that, My daughter has done the same thing to me too!! I used to be calm about it. But now after so many I hate you's and your a piece of shit mothers. I started fighting fire with fire. Dont feed into the help me bs. If she really needed help she would be in rehab or the hospital. I would text back " ask someone you love, if you hate me so much why would you need my money! Dont give her the satisfaction of knowing that she has hurt you, I honestly think they enjoy causing us misery cause their lives are so horrible." God Bless!!

That sounds so cold, but think about how many times, We have tried to talk calmly, while trying to talk sense into our kids. Yelled and screamed trying to get through to them. Forgave them over and over, when if it was a stranger or a friend we would of done called the cops and pressed charges. The late nights of sitting up waiting for them to come home not knowing if they are ok or not. Nursing them back to health when they are sick or almost dead.

So what do you get for that,!!!!!!NOTHING!!!! I HATE YOU! YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT MOTHER! WHY WONT YOU HELP ME??? Do you see what I am meaning. There comes a time when enough is enough. How much can we honestly take before it is time to say I am finished with your mental abuse. I have done all that I can and it is time for you to do for you. You tell me to mind my own business, you are an adult and can take care of yourself, you have it all under control. So honey as much as I love you. Have at it. Good luck and hopefully you will one day get help and get clean. This is where I am now I will no longer roll over and let my daughter kick me everychance she gets. Hope this will help you see they are slowly destroying us. We didnt cause their addiction and I'll be dam if I will live it anymore!!!

yes .. our lids have zero respect when they are using or need drugs.... they loose ther respect, personality & love for us /// The faster that we stop enabling the faster they will realize that we had enough..... It so great to have my sons personality back ...... just am so scared ....... hang in there...... just rememebr it not oure kids saying this its the drugs .....

Trish glad to hear your son is doing so good. Just try to keep the faith. Hopefully he will continue!!

I agree, tell her to ask someone that she loves to help her out. It is so hard when they say things that they don't really mean. My daughter comes home tomorrow! I am excited and scared at the same time. It is so nice when I hear her voice and when we are done talking (on the phone), I tell her that I love her and she says, "I love you too, momma!" It is nice to have my daughter back. I hope it stays that way!

Bearhug, that is great, Hope it all works out and continues. Tee

Teetime4U, I can feel your passion! You are a great supporter! So are the rest of you!

Thank you to all of you. I just sent her a text...."I don't give money to people that hate me."

Yeah, you are right, I wouldn't allow anyone else to treat me this way, why would I allow her???

I'm not going to cry myself to sleep and I am also not going to beat my pillow either...I'm just going to sleep.

ikkin

Wow that is a great idea, love the last sentence, thats finding peace. good for you! love, patti