Parents of Addicts Online Support Group

Buy several Halloween masks- wear which ever one is appropriate for that day (zombie ones work good for the grocery store)

Develop your own new bad habits

Do laughter yoga (preferably not alone)

Make a plot to blow up all the 7-11's

Stop watching Intervention

book a cruise during a hurricane

okay need help here, come on, its Monday we need some humour to get through the week......

Don't show up for Christmas dinner, call and tell your addict child you are just getting egg nog, and then go anywhere but home for a week. ( do not not a cruise)

Stuff the turkey cover with used scraps of tinfoil and bast with a needle ( Ok I am bad)

Sing Grandma got run over by a rain deer by change words to addict.

Deck the halls with unpaid rehab bills.

Ride a horse in the snowy woods with red bows.

Eat dessert and mashed potatoes freely.

Stuff the stocking with "Clean and sober books" and all the thirty days chips lost in the laundry.

Wrap them up a 12 step naranon book for Christmas, watch the happy face when unwrapped.

Give them the gift of clothes with their name on them in permanent ink, then when we buy them back from the Salvation Army we can regift to them.

Oh Patti you bring out the evil in me lol. We hopefully not offending anyone on here, if we didnt have some humour at our situations it would be tears. I know some of you are in the stage where humour doesnt work, I was like that when I first came here and of course will still have many more days.

My daughter walked in so i was distracted then I ran and got her gas( No cash for those hands, She is going back to an Oxford home. Good Good)

Anyway the only other thing I can find funny is my own behavior and where fear takes me... so in making fun of myself I would say.

Do not listen in on phone calls, press ear against bathroom door, listen through heater vents.

Do not hide in bushes and wait for a 5:00 am arrival.

Do not even look at the face of an addict because you will start in on eye checks.

Do not feel if the car is warm at 7:00 am

Do not think every ambulance is my child

Do not take pictures of potential pushers

Do not call and leave the hundred voice messages begging a response.

Do not, do not, do not watch intervention!

Do not hide kitchen utensils

Do not let an addict bait you into an argument or leave before the Christmas day dishes are done.

Do not shower and addict (love, affection) unless you yourself have showered.

Do not sit all calm if you want to run out of the room, better yet figure out who's room it is.

Tell Santa you have been good but you cannot vouch for anyone else.

Love and see the addict as a sick person trying to get well, then see someone else as the nurse.

Put a beeper on that xbox he has only had for 6mos and wanted for yrs...along with the games

Take your real jewelry and replace it with costume

Hide your valuables in the trunk of your car but don't forget to hide the keys

When you hide money make sure they don't see you going in that direction more than once,,they have radar built in...or better yet keep counterfeit..crap the dealer will kill them....strike that idea

Oh and when they receive constant calls on their cell but don't answer in your presence and say "I don't answer unknow callers" you know the caller is know just not known to you..it's the scum bag on the other end wanting to buy or sell.

When they are falling asleep at odd hrs and can't keep their heads up and they say their just tired...here's your sign.

When you wake up in the middle of the night and they are no where to be found...they were kidnapped but the napper found out no money no drugs so they threw them back through the bedroom window.

You put a recorder on your phone and you know every step they are planning on making and the "friends uncle" makes a comment your mom is one mean bitch you better watch her she knows too much..took awhile but he finally figured it out(son that is) the uncle too big of a slug himself and addict...yuk!

Ok ladies think we will have to continue on with this and we do need to put some humor in our post...too much stress and sadness does an old woman me make...hugs to you all!!

ok one more in me please bear with me!!

When the court system....the town joker's are investigated..striped of their titles..hire their lawyers..put behind bars to eat lousy food..sleep on a thin pad with only a thin blanket..flat pillow...be the abortionist (that is what my son calls his job..he cleans the bathrooms and the showers so if you know what I mean..men..showers..yuk my poor baby boy)..take their money for court cost..probabation fees..spend their 401k for a high dollar lawyer..go to court and have Judge Judy as the judge...and all of us MKJ momma's as their jury......HERE WE GO LADIES AND WHEN JUDGE JUDY GIVES THEM THEIR SENTENCE OF LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE AND OUR KIDS ARE CO'S.....WE WILL TAKE A BUS TO THE WHITE HOUSE AND STAND ON THE STEPS AND IN THE BIGGEST LOUDEST VOICES WE HAVE WE WILL YELL.....ARE YOU READY LADIES??? HERE GOES...........GETTER DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW IS THAT FOR A FINISH!!! WOW WHAT A WONDERFUL DREAM WHY DID I HAVE TO WAKE UP!!!!

Post edited by: mehman, at: 11/29/2010 06:41 PM

Post edited by: mehman, at: 11/29/2010 06:42 PM