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11/06/2010 06:51 AM

what to say to my son who is in rehab

greeneyemommy

As you all know my son has been in rehab for a month ...far away in another state,,we are going to visit him next week ..... I am scared of what to say & what not to say .....it seems when he calls me i always say the wrong thing ..Im still very mad at him & i know i need to get past that ......This drug addiction put a big strain on our relationship...

Any advice ?

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11/06/2010 07:35 AM
bearhug423
bearhug423  
Posts: 262
Member

Trish, I think maybe you should just start with "I love you". Once you get there, tell him you love him and you are proud of him and then just try to hear what a typical day is like. The conversation will flow from there. That's great that you will get to see him! (((HUGS!!)))

11/06/2010 07:08 PM
islandcat
islandcat  
Posts: 2672
Senior Member

Trish when I went to see my son in his brief rehad stay it was great, other guys who were in rehab came by and met us and they all made little inside jokes, it was wonderful. My son had a sparkle in his eyes and he laughed again. I would love to relive that moment. Just play it by ear, do not bring up anything from the past just live for the moment in the time you are there. Good luck. Lynda

11/07/2010 06:54 AM
babies1
babies1  
Posts: 1980
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Those are all great ideas! If you feel a tenseness in the air, tell him you've missed him and ask him how his days are there. Don't say, "How are you?" because we know kids and they always just say "fine."

I know the anger inside that you are talking about. I guess I still have a little more forgiving to do of my daughter's addiction. You can't keep all of that bottled up inside though. If you don't have someone close to confide in, you might want to seek counseling for yourself until you feel like you are going to be okay. much love, jenn


11/07/2010 04:24 PM
mehman
mehman  
Posts: 3050
Group Leader

Trish...before I went to see my son for the first time in prison, I was so scared and worried and it was tense in the beginning but after just a little bit we relaxed and now we all look so forward to the visits..our next one is this coming Sat. and I can't wait....but anyway, please let go of the anger and let the love come to the surface. He has made mistakes but these were mistakes that were done under the influence of the drugs...if our kids can't look to us for forgiveness how can we expect others to forgive them for their acts. I am sure he will be nervous too and will not know what to expect from you...he is there to get the help he needs and that is the first step. I at times felt anger toward my son also but in the next breath I could only be greatful that he was alive and I was not visiting a grave site as so many parents have to do. If he does not have your forgiveness and love why would he want to keep working to change his life..why would he want to face the deeds he has done with sober eyes..that is why so many turn back to the drugs..they can't deal with the knowledge of what they have done to their families and etc... Love him and let your eyes show it..he needs you so much!!!!! God bless and good luck with the visit.Wink

11/07/2010 05:46 PM
greeneyemommy

i will take all your advice ..what would I do with out all of you .. we are all so lucky to have each other ..ok now im crying ,,,,, why am i nervous to see my son .... ???? its crazy cause i so miss him ,,,hugs to all my friends

11/07/2010 08:46 PM
babies1
babies1  
Posts: 1980
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Try not to be nervous when you see your son. He will probably be just as nervous as you. Give him a hug and tell him how much you have missed him and that will get the ball rolling. hugs
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