Parents of Addicts Online Support Group

I am not trying to be cute when I say seems to be heroin, just trying to convey the fact that my son Shane does not want to admit. Anything. So I don't know that much about his drug life. For the past eight months he has been living with me. He OD'd for the second time in six weeks last Saturday. His dog woke me. She was crying on the stairs at four in the morning. I got up, saw that the lights were on in the front room. Thought Shane may have fallen asleep watching TV. He wasn't on the couch. Then I noticed the basement lights were on. I found him alone, slumped with his head on the table in the basement. The syringe was still on the table. He was breathing shallowly. Arms and legs like a puppet's. Lifting his eyelids, I saw his eyes rolled back in their sockets. Slapped his face, his chest. Shouted his name over and over. Shane. Shane. It's dad. It's dad. Ran upstairs for my phone to call 911. Pressed the buttons but didn't call. Ran downstairs to check if he was still breathing. He was. Held him up. Shook him. Shouted. His eyes finally opened and focused. Swim Shane. Swim up to the surface, keep going come up, kick your legs.

A day passed before I said I wanted him to leave. Get help. You know where to go. Call one of his counselors, doctors, therapists. Knock on a church door. Go to an emergency room. Walk into a police station. A fire department. But I'm tired of this. You have to make the next move.

I have been reading the posts on this site. Sometimes I have trouble seeing the person behind the wall of drugs and alcohol. The people and the stories here help me to focus my anger on the substances themselves and the bad choices people can make until they are no longer making choices but fulfilling needs. The more focused I become, the less anger I feel. Anger is a big fat liar when it comes to commitment.

If addiction were a live thing, I would strangle it to its death and be done with it. But it isn't and so I come here to learn how others are coming to grips with this beast.

Bob

Bob, welcome to our group, I'm glad you joined us. I'm so sorry that you found your son that way and how horrible it must have been for you both.

It's okay to feel anger with your son, anger at herion, it is normal. Seems that when you have an addicted child, you go through so many emotions, love, hate, resentment, anger. Your son is fufilling a need right now. He can't see past his next fix. Maybe since you have ask him to leave, maybe he will make the next move.

We are all here to support each other and our stories are very similar, please feel free to post anytime. blessings, jenn