I am raising two girls by myself. I am their legal guardian for the last 6 years. My younger daughter, L, has been with me since just after her birth; her older sister, C, was 11 when I became her legal guardian, although she had been with me for short periods of time before that. C has been diagnosed with Bipolar, ODD, possibly RAD and it has been suggested that she may eventually be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. She doesn't believe any of it. Two years ago she beat me up and sent me to the hospital with a concussion. I am convinced to this day that if she had reached behind her and laid her hand on a hammer or knife instead of a lamp timer, I would be dead. She has assaulted peers and school staff, and has fought with police officers that have come to break up fights. She has been in several placements, including a wonderful group home that does DBT therapy. She seemed to make real progress in this program, but as soon as she started earning community time all her old behaviors reappeared. She has run away several times and been gone as long as 3 weeks. This happened just a couple of months ago. While she was on the run she prostituted herself for a place to live, clothes, piercings, nails, etc. She went to a tattoo parlor and sold herself to a 35 yr old scumbag for a tattoo. She has told me she will do anything that any man wants her to do. I love her and my heart breaks for her, but at the same time I really struggle when I am with her. She seldom shows any remorse or any insight into her behavior or why anyone would be upset about it; it is only when she wants something or she is getting consequences that she doesn't want, that she takes any responsibility for her actions. She refuses to take any meds. She is currently in Juvenile Detention as the latest run was the last straw for the judge in a long line of probation violations on the assault charges. I am officially out of ideas to try and help her...I guess it is a mote point since she will be in some sort of youth service placement until she is 18. Don't know what will happen to her after that.
I sit here and read your words and my heart hurts for you and your girls. I don't think it matters how old she was when you became her legal guardian, you see her as a part of you. If you didn't, it wouldn't hurt. I'm afraid I have nothing worthwhile to offer you in advice or "words of wisdom" or even being able to relate. But if you ever need to chat or vent, I'm happy to listen!
Is their a way to get her HOSPITALIZED instead of juvinille detention?IMO I disagree with courts and mental illness I think they need be hospitalized and TREATED instead locked up untreated.It took a long time to get my daughter to take her meds Id give them to her shed tell me she took them but didnt because she didnt like being groggy and sleepy all the time her Dr is wonderful at working with her to fin meds that work and she can function.We are still battling finding ones that work or that stay working for that matter.If she running wrong people maybe shes using other drugs if thats case get judge to admit her to a longterm in patient rehab facility and they will work on behavior and medication part as well.
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