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08/16/2011 07:01 AM

Shadow Mum!

lisaellen
lisaellen  
Posts: 240
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Does anyone else find it difficult to be an attentive focused parent? I kinda get these tendencies where I just switch off get obssesed in what ever I am doing and forget I have little ones in the house. When I say little not too little 10 and 11 but still, they deserve a Mum not a shadow of one.

I think I am worse at this role when medication is not doing what it is suspose to and perhaps that is what is going on. At the moment I am more aware I find myself getting annoyed that they want my attention I just want to block everything out and go inside myself, they keep pulling me out.

I love them so much but sometimes I feel so useless and they seem to look after me. My son had to go on camp I could'nt even think straight my eleven year old jumped in packed everything. Sometimes they have to fix themselves dinner cause I'm so addled , walking around in circles. I just can't seem to organise my mind. Anyone else experience this and have some advice I want my little ones to have better then what I am giving them?

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08/17/2011 03:03 PM
Dit
Dit  
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OMG i really hear you your post sounded like 'me talking' i'm struggling right now my kids are 11 and 13, i'm lacking motivation/energy i told my pdoc one week ago and he said i needed to push myself to do stuff, Well, i'm getting worse and i find i'm starting to withdraw and isolate, this is not good. Thanks for your post, i no longer feel so alone.

08/18/2011 03:47 AM
lisaellen
lisaellen  
Posts: 240
Member

It is a reliefe to know your not alone for me also it was a huge weight lifted to admitt I'm not coping. Boy I wish your pdoc was a bit more helpful but, and wouldn't that just be so simple to push yourself...I'm a Personal Trainer so I do understand that concept but being able to push yourself comes from an internal or external motivator.

I believe when we are depressed we are not going to be able to just push ourselve through our internal mechanism. That drive has been switched off, lack of chemicals etc, otherwise we would not be depressed. So what else is there to do where do we look for something external to help drive us.

Whether through reasessing our meds or having someone in our life that can give us hands on susport, encouragement or incentives to have motivation.

I'm going to my pdoc and I really hope I don't get advice like that because I know how dangerously close I am to rock bottom. If I get any useful advice from pdoc I will pass it on.

Post edited by: lisaellen, at: 08/18/2011 03:51 AM

Post edited by: lisaellen, at: 08/18/2011 03:55 AM

Post edited by: lisaellen, at: 08/18/2011 03:56 AM


08/18/2011 04:46 AM
ASO1979able
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I can definitely relate to this post, I have felt this way for a very long time. My 8 (soon to be 9) year old daughter has started demanding my attention, if she's talking to me and I'm not paying attention to her she will say "MOM" and get right in front of me until she knows I'm listening. In my case my kids (especially the 'little' one) make me push myself by pretty much forcing me to get things done. I just wish that they didn't have to do that. My pdoc has said the same thing,"you just have to make yourself get up and get things done". Do they not understand that it's not that easy?

08/21/2011 05:09 AM
lisaellen
lisaellen  
Posts: 240
Member

I guess all we can do is try our best and be honest that some days we are not going to be the mums we dream't of being and though we may cry our silent tears, Rest assured we will have our good days where we can reassure our children we love them and they mean the world to us.

Post edited by: lisaellen, at: 08/21/2011 05:09 AM


08/21/2011 07:11 AM
ASO1979able
ASO1979able  
Posts: 6985
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That's a great way to say it lisaellen! I know that I struggle with not being able to be the mom that I always dreamt of being, but then again I'm not sure anyone has been able to fulfill that dream as well as they had hoped. But in any case we do have to accept it and continue to try our best.
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