Parental Alienation Syndrome Support Group

When the legal system fails you. When there is no chance to get her back. When you haven't done a single thing wrong except look out for them and love them. Most of all how do you deal with the mental anguish and heartache from your little one?

It's been 2 years, in the last year I've seen my baby that I raised solo for 6.5 years twice. I fought a 2 yr court battle that came down to nothing resolved. My ex was my abuser, he hasn't gotten help. My little girl is so sad. Me and her big sister miss her desperately.

Any advice will do...

Dear Amadica,

There are many of us out here in your situation. There may be some things to try. It depends on where you live, how much money, and how much fight you have. I can give you some advice and lead you to some resources, but first tell me a little more. You have 2 daughters and one is with you and one with your ex? How old are they? What state are you in? How do you stay in touch? What about your mental anguish?

Kay (targetedmom)

Hi Kay,

I'm actually in B.C, Canada. She is in Alberta. The eldest (13) is with me and youngest (9) is with him.

I have spent upwards to 40,000 in lawyer and court fees in two years. I am now broke

I was rejected when I asked for a pas trial as I didn't have enough evidance. I tossed that lawyer and tried another. She has recently left private practice and the case was placed out of court. I was told to work it out with him. Which would be great if that was only possible.

I can go on and on about the situation which is very hard for me. Both girls lived with me for 6.5 years while I was a single mother. 3 years ago I was raped and need time to heal. I don't have a traditional family so I asked him to step up and help for a few months. 9mo later he dropped my eldest at the door and hasn't spoke to once after. The disappeared with my youngest.

Dear Amadicia,

It is difficult to even suggest much because our legal systems are different. I've always gotten the impression Canada was much further ahead than the us in pas. Pas is pretty specific and has very obvious signs. Are you able to contact your daughter? It sounded like you knew that she wanted to be with you. Can I ask who "he" is? I don't have a traditional family either, so I was completely on my own. What legal arrangements were made when he "stepped up"? I can understand (to a degree) why it may not have been a pas case, but aren't you the legal mother with custody and placement rights? On what grounds does he have a right to have her at all? Sorry to ask so many questions. Your situation is very different than mine--except for the fact that my ex-husband is also impossible to communicate with. We also share a grief no one else, who hasn't lost a child would know. And I'm also broke, but my ex is moreso, since I got him charged with a felony. Anyway, So can you tell me anymore? Did he abuct her? Is he hiding her? What laws is he breaking. If you can and want to, post again. Bless You, Kay

I can't talk to her when he chooses to answer the phone. This is sometimes once a week but there are sometime weeks or months between. We have share custody, so he legaly can't kidnap her. He did disapper with her for months and I still don't know where she lives. However the courts don't seem to care. I have called the police twice and they have done house calls to verify that she's ok. They also say they can't give me her address.

He bad talks me in front of her and she told me that she has to call me by my first name and not mom. When it first started happening he would say that she had plans for the weekend that I was supposed to see her, birthdays, lessons ect.

He would yell at me on the phone and call me names in front of her and say that I don't love her and that I am a horrible mother. He would threaten to move her out of the country. I put a block on the boarder control for her. He told her that I didn't want her and that I gave her away to him because I wanted to party and have lots of boy friends. I have been with one person now for 4.5 years. I have him on tape denying me access. It was inadmisable in court. I have letters from friend and relatives stating the above and other things. These letters are also inadmisable.

How do you 'prove' these things if letters and recording don't count???

I just wrote a huge long addition but it crapped out. There is so much more that I have as evidance. At the end of the day they don't want to move her because she's been there for so long. The only reason she's been there so long is because he was dodging the court days.