I am 19 years old, and in my first year of college, living with my father and my mother, who has paranoid personality disorder.
Recently I started having a hard time dealing with it because she's making me a target. My father works evenings and she is gone when he is home, so when I get home from school late she has to make me her target.
It started about five years ago, when she started having issues with her family, and got worse once my brother got married. She hates her daughter in law for no reason, or so she told her because she took her son away from her.
She accuses my dad of infidelity, even though I have never met a more patient and respectful man in my life. She doesn't really have any friends, except for a few because she accused them of talking bad about her. If I get angry at her, or have an outburst because she's talking to loud on the phone when I'm trying to study, she acts like im the worst daughter in the world. She calls me names, even the ext day before I even say anything, she continues the conversation by yelling at me..
I try no to talk to her, I don't even say hi to her, sometimes I'm afraid to walk into the house, because I don't know what to expect.
She exadurates everything and remembers and doesn't forgive things that have happened 10 years ago.
There are days when she is fine, but I never trust her and I'm always at a distance because she hurts me in the end anyway.
I have a boyfriend that I want to get married to in the future, he's frightened by what is going on. Eventhough I am living at home now, I will be living on campus next semester, but that is not enough. I want to move out. I feel depressed here, I'm starting to have suicidal thoughts because it's just so cold at home, I feel like I have no heart here.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
