Looking forward to living without fear of fear

I have read mnay of your posts, and the thing that strikes me most is that we all have experienced almost the same symptoms during panic attacks, over and over again, yet when they strike we feel the same fear!

I am trying to tell myself these attacks will not hurt me, have never hurt me, and that the sensations are just that, harmless sensations. This is SO difficult during an attack though - my blood pressure routinely raises to 200/100 with a heart rate of 120-130 BPM.

I am trying to build up the courage to really face my panic attack - I hope one day soon while experiecing an attack to tell it to "f*ck off" and give me it's worst. Sounds silly I know - but it scares me just thinking about it. Anyway, that is my plan...my next attack (I get 2-3 weekly for the past 8 weeks or so) i am going to say "do your worst", I am going to face it head on. Hopefully, this will make me realize that i have the power to control this thing!

All the best! I'll tell you how it goes!

Post edited by: binkster, at: 01/07/2008 19:31

My panic attacks turned into an anxiety I basically swallowed since I got tired of getting the "crazy" look from fam/friends...which in turn developed into like a social anxiety thing, (basically to avoid being around people because it heightens my anxiety and I feel like I can't have a panic attack in front of anyone, had the incessant escape need to "get-out", etc)

ANYWAY, I was sitting in a Walmart parking lot and I just couldn't go in...I COULD NOT make myself get out of the car because of the crowd, the time it takes to get to the exits, the possible waiting in line, all the hypotheticals started...I just could NOT do it. All of the sudden, the idiocracy of the situation just hit me...and I just busted out laughing, I mean like I had just heard THE funniest joke ever. I was alone in my car laughing hysterically at the very thing that had driven me to despair in the past. I could see how irrational I was being and how ridiculous it all actually is, and it was GLORIOUS! I mean in my mind I've known it's irrational but it's like convincing ALL of me or something (body (symptoms) vs. mind (logic), who to trust, right?)

I guess you'd maybe have to know me to realy understand. I use humor alot, its very important to me to laugh, have fun, etc...and this anxiety had tried to take that from me so the fact that I CAN get to the point of laughing about it, is HUGE...and great :o)

Sorry this is kinda long, but I just had to tell you that.

That's a good day you've got in your sights there, don't give up on it...it WILL come.

Rebekah

There is a light at the end of the tunnel...